The first quilt square we got for our Good Wishes Quilt, other than from us, is from Stinkerbelle’s Auntie Vicki.
Now, Auntie Vicki is not technically Stinkerbelle’s aunt — she’s actually our good friend and hairdresser. But she has been with us through a lot of our big life events. She made us gorgeous for our wedding. She consoled us over our miscarriage. She talked with us often about our adventures in infertility treatment. And she waited, ever so patiently for our our adoption to be complete. Not to mention, she is a big fan of my gingerbread.
So she’s TOTALLY an honourary Auntie.
She was so very excited when we finally DID bring Her Babyness home, and, as she stood holding the girl in her arms, looked a little shocked and said, “I cannot BELIEVE I am holding YOUR DAUGHTER.” She’s been following our quest for a family so long, it was the end of a long journey for her, too.
When she went to give me the fabric, she got all flustered and said, “Okay. I saw this and thought it would be PERFECT: pink because she’s a girl, and lots of cats on it because you have lots of cats… But I bought you this BEFORE I saw the fabric you posted. And I realized it TOTALLY DOESN’T MATCH. So if you want, I can get a different one.” Which was really sweet.
I told Vicki not to worry, that this fabric would be just perfect. I explained that this quilt is going to be like a story: every square comes from someone special, and there’s a reason they chose it, and a wish behind it. So they don’t all have to match — it’s the story behind how each square came to be there that counts. And it’s a story I can tell our daughter. over and over again, as the years go by and her wishes come true.
So I said this one would be perfect, and I was keeping it.
Vicki didn’t have a wish for Stinkerbelle yet. She said that would come later. But that’s okay, there’s lots of time: the girl doesn’t have any hair yet, and so we’ll be sure to visit Vicki for her first haircut, but not for a LONG time yet, I think.
So thanks Vicki!
November 8th, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family, Craftiness |
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The charming, funny Nicky and her husband J-Rock just announced yesterday — they got their referral! For (wait for it!……) TWO YEAR OLD TWIN GIRLS!
This marks the end of a long wait for Nicky and J-Rock, and the beginning of an incredible adventure with two beautiful little girls. Please drop by and read their referral story and offer your congratulations!
October 25th, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family, Good News |
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So, the warm Indian Summer weather seems to be done. But despite the cool and overcast day today, it’s a good day.
The funny, brilliant Rhonda and her hubby Kris got their referral: a tiny baby girl, all of 6 weeks old right now! Most excellent news for a most excellent family, who waited over 15 months for this wonderful day… so stop by and check out the news for yourself!
And I had better get moving and get some more lists posted… because Rhonda will soon be needing them!
In slightly less exciting news, we came home from shopping to find… a stroller on our porch! No, it wasn’t just a drive-by strollering… we HAD ordered one. But that was MONDAY, which was a holiday so let’s say TUESDAY for sake of argument — and it arrived this morning already. DUDE. I LOVE that. So now Stinkerbelle and I can go walking! (Which we could before, only in the Snugli — which she loves, but my back? Not so much.) So, much thanks to Grammy, Granddad, Auntie Tena, Uncle Kevin, and the lovely folks at our credit card company, who made the stroller possible.
And in less exciting news still, allow me a moment of Mommy Vanity. But I have to tell you, if there’s something that just tickles me pink, it’s when strangers come up to us and remark about how beautiful our daughter is. Now, I grant you, it’s rare that a stranger walks up to a couple and says, “DUDE. THAT? Is one BUTT UGLY BABY.” So, you know, getting comments about a beautiful baby is more common than not. HOWEVER… when you are someone who thought you would never be in the position to HAVE a baby, full stop, to have people fussing over your child is magical. Today in the grocery store, as we walked around and I had Her Babyness in the Baby Bjorn, a few women came over to remark on how pretty our daughter is. And I was so proud.
As BDH said to me, as I walked back to where he was standing from the bakery section (day olds! must check out the day olds!)… “I have never seen anyone so happy to be carrying a baby in my life.”
It’s true. I’m happy to carry that beautiful baby anywhere. (Although now I can stroller. Well, that will be happy too.)
October 16th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Adoption, Friends and Family, Good News, Her Babyness |
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It has been 30 days since we brought our daughter into our lives. A lot can happen in 30 days.
She has gained at least a pound (likely a lot more; the doctor’s appointment was almost two weeks ago.)
She can pass things from hand to hand.
She is learning to roll over.
She’s growing out of her 0-6 month clothes (well, the smaller ones, anyway).
She had her first cereal.
She can bang two cups together.
She touched her first grass. With fingers and toes.
She had her first vegetables (carrots) yesterday.
She’s trying out her voice.
She won her Granddad over with a flirty smile.
She could cuddle endlessly with her Grammy.
She loves splashing in the bath and getting her Daddy all wet.
She loves Van Morrison (which Mommy sings her to sleep with) and Mommy’s ponytails.
She became our daughter, not just in papers and photographs, but in body, spirit and heart.
If all this can happen in one short month, our life together stretches out before us like an incredible adventure.
October 12th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family, Her Babyness |
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Well, Friday evening was momentous indeed: It marked the arrival of GRAMMY AND GRANDDAD here at the House of Peevish. Oh sure, they were happy to see us after, what, 9 months or so? But really? They were here to see The Girl.
And she did not disappoint. Well, perhaps a little bit — she was up past her bedtime Friday night when they arrived, and so was possibly not in the BEST form she has ever been in. So with the frowny, smunchy-faced baby greeting her instead of the perpetually smiling and laughing one she had come to expect… well, I think Grammy was a little disappointed.
But our Stinkerbelle woke up all smiles the next morning, and by noon she and her Grammy were fast friends. And she smiled and flirted with Granddad, and pulled out all the stops of baby charm and wit. And things went from good to better, as she soon began the endless snugglefest that has marked her time with Grammy.
And then there was what has come to be known as The Hat Incident.
Grammy has been known, on occasion (okay, regularly) to adjourn to the porch with a glass of wine to what has euphemistically come to be known as “check the weather”. Now, she was concerned that the fact that there was a strange woman on our porch drinking and smoking might cause some gossip among the neighbours in our little corner of Subdivisionland. We assured her — NOT TO WORRY! In fact, anything she could do to get the neighbours gossiping and up-in-arms… well, we STRONGLY encourage. Especially when that neighbour is The Mayor. Or The Mayor’s Wife, even.
We suggested she step it up a notch. Perhaps put on a big old hat and a hula skirt and go out there and dance.
And then we got the idea.
I have a couple of clown costumes I got for Halloween a few years back. Both came with fuzzy wigs and a couple of really FAB hats. Two are kind of “mad hatter” hats, but one is this giant, velvet, feather-festooned, Huggy Bear pimpin’ hat. I mean, this hat is HAPPENIN’. I LOVE this hat. So BDH ran upstairs and grabbed it from the closet and brought it down.
Grammy put on the hat, and we all fell about laughing.
Well, all of us except Stinkerbelle.
Her Babyness burst into tears at the sight of Grammy in the Huggy Bear hat. Wails of sorrow emitted from her little self, big tears began to roll. “THAT HAT ATE MY GRAMMY!!!”
She would not be consoled until the hat was off and her Grammy was safe.
Phew.
So, other than The Hat Incident — and an appalling lack of seating due to our apparent inability to move from the kitchen/playroom to the more comfortable places in the house where there are, you know, SOFAS and CHAIRS and stuff — it has been a good visit so far.
Just don’t mention The Hat.
October 6th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family, Her Babyness |
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Today, for the first time since we got home, we all felt good — good enough to get out and about and see some of the people we have been promising to see. So we got up, got cleaned and polished, got the girl dressed (resplendent in yellow corduroy overalls which — let’s be honest here — look like MC Hammer pants, and her faux-Converse running shoes) and all her gear packed, and got out the door at a reasonable hour.
First off, we went to BDH’s office. We tried to sneak in quietly, but many people in the office have been following my blog (Hi Guys!! 
*waves*) and so once the first SQUEEEEE came out when the baby came into view, we were surrounded. It was great, though — so many good wishes, so many people that have been following our journey for so long, and all there to see the girl of the hour. And she LOVED it. Stinkerbelle got fussed over and kissed all over and cooed at, and she was in her elephant. She LOVES her peeps, so she was full of smiles for everyone. And she farted on Uncle Colin, so you know… par for the course.
Then it was off to lunch. Now, this was more than a lunch stop — BDH goes to a local Keg fairly frequently for lunch, and has gotten to know the staff quite well. And they have also been following our journey, so we stopped in so they could meet Herself. Again, more of the girl and her peeps. A girl MUST remember her public, after all. And we got some lunch, as well — and Stinkerbelle got her bottle, which was our big priority. (Keep on schedule!)
Next up was a hair appointment for BDH, but more importantly, to meet Auntie Vicki. Vicki has been waiting for EVAH to meet our girl, and half the time we were there today she just stood with the girl in her arms and said, “I can’t believe I am ACTUALLY holding YOUR BABY.”
After that, we headed to our agency, because we had some more paperwork (I KNOW! IT NEVER ENDS!) to pass in. Once there, all the staff came out to pass the baby around, coo over her and kiss on her, and generally fuss over her. It was great — they are the people that brought our family together, so it was nice for them to meet the fruits of their labour, as it were. And I am sure they don’t get a ton of families coming in, since they deal with people all across the country. We had a great chat, told them about our trip, and praised Solomon (I was so glad to hear they had gotten word about how badly some of the families were treating Solomon while we were there!!) and the staff we met while in Addis. What was really cool was to have the Director come over and pick up Stinkerbelle and say, “I remember when you were in your crib in Ethiopia!” It kind of brings things full circle.
And then it was on to our final stop of the day… the Cat Clinic. Here’s another group of great people who have been with us (vicariously) through this whole journey, enough so that they bought us a card and a stuffed animal (a kitty! of course) for the girl, and have been waiting for us to bring her in to visit. So today, we stopped in and, despite being out for hours and missing what little naps she normally has, Stinkerbelle was on fine form. I was also so glad they got to meet her, especially the Good Doctor, because she has signed paperwork for us and kept up on our quest for a family for all this time.
And with that, tired girl in tow, we came home. We put the very tired girl in her swing, where I thought she would nap… but instead, she had a GIANT POOP right up to her armpits.
I have no idea what that means. I can’t even begin to say.
But other than cleaning poop out of a squirming, stinky baby’s belly button… it was a really nice day.
October 1st, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family, Her Babyness |
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Well, this whole trip-to-Ethiopia thing seems to have given rise to some questions from our peeps out there in Teh Internets. And so, we here at The House of Peevish are more than happy to answer those questions for you.
- I’m super curious about how things were for her there. What was her schedule like?
Her schedule was the same as the rest of the babies’ schedule — I mean, with 40 babies in the home, you have to be pretty organized. So they were up and fed 6 oz bottles at 6 am, bathed at 7:30, and then they were fed every 4 hours from then on. A morning nap and an afternoon nap were also on the schedule.
That being said, her schedule was nothing like that, from what we can tell. She’s way hungrier than that schedule allows for, not to mention she hardly naps. She will catch catnaps throughout the day, but no actual structured nap time. And she almost sleeps through the night, with just 1 feed between 7 pm and 7 am. So I think, as a baby there, you just did what you had to do to fit into the schedule — there’s no time or point in complaining.
- How many children were in the room with her?
She was in a room with about 7 other babies, with an average of 3 caregivers for the 8 babies. There were 5 or 6 rooms all told, and hers was pretty big with about 8 babies in it. Some were two to a crib, others soloing in a crib or a bassinet. It was very comfortable and clean, and the rooms were bright and airy. It’s a big, gorgeous 3-story house made just for infant care.
- Has it been easy to adapt her to a schedule on her own, or have you kept her to her previous schedule?
We followed her lead right from the beginning, because it was clear that Her Babyness has a mind of her own. She was hungrier than the schedule allowed for, particularly in the afternoons, so we fed her more frequently then and less at night. She also has shown she likes to sleep most of the night and not nap during the day, and we’re grateful for the sleep time. She’s also getting cereal now, which they would not have been doing until after 6 months of age at the Transition Home, because she’s quite frankly ravenous. I’d like to start her on vegetables soon too, but we’ll leave that up to her doctor.
She’s an easy baby, once you learn all her signals.
- Where there things that they did/did not do at the home that you were surprised to see or learn about?
I don’t think they burped the babies, because when we first fed the girl and went to burp her, she was totally confused. I was also surprised they don’t start them on cereal until after 6 months, but I wonder if that is just because of the logisitics involved. I also was surprised to find that the package we sent — photos, toys, and a couple of onesies — was nowhere to be seen. Quite honestly, although I know the agency says we can go ahead and send that stuff, I don’t believe the babies actually GET much of the stuff. I think it’s just too hard for the staff at the Transition Home to keep track of all that stuff what with moving babies around and whatnot. I think they did show our daughter our photos, and started talking to her about Mama and Papa, but the photos were not posted and her toys were not in her crib.
- Did the kids spend most of their time indoors, or did they get outside time? (Which would depend, I imagine on the ratio of caregivers to children at the home, so I suppose it correlates to an earlier question.)
The babies spend their time indoors. It’s just too hard with small babies to manage outside time. But once they go to the Toddlers Home, there’s a lot of outside time, with a nice compound and a playground and lots of room for the kids to get fresh air and sunshine.
- How bad was the crick in your neck when you woke up out of the chair?
I didn’t have one; it was quite comfortable, actually. But there was this guy, a sheikh sort of fellow, who pulled two chairs together and was using them as kind of a cot… flopping to and fro, feet in the air, arse sliding to the floor between the two chairs, all night long… it was like something right out of a Chaplin film. It was hilarious and brilliant and if I could have, I would have videoed the whole thing.
September 28th, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family |
5 comments
A belated happy birthday to Teh Guilty Squid herself! Yes, Kelly had a birthday while we were sick, and so consequently, the proper HUZZAHs and HEIGH HOs were not duly accorded her on her special day.
(Also? Because I am an ass, her Canadian Living subscription was not renewed on time due to excess adoption-y stuff. But I’ll get on that as soon as I can.)
So, if you see her today, give her your best Bon Anniversaire!
September 25th, 2008
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Friends and Family |
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Five years ago today, BDH and I got married.
We had been together, say, 7 years by that point. And we didn’t want to get married at first. But BDH is kind of a traditional guy, and so after a while we decided to have a very small, intimate wedding. Our plan for a wedding was basically to get together with a few of our closest friends and family and have a good meal and good wine and good conversation.
Simple. Elegant. It went almost perfectly. The weather was gorgeous, the food was fantastic, the flowers were spectacular.
It was a nice day.
We did not have a honeymoon. We decided not to, because we really wanted to go someplace fabulous, and we just didn’t have the money to afford what we wanted. But that was okay — we just decided we’d save up and go somewhere really memorable on our fifth anniversary instead.
Well, our fifth anniversary is here. And we did save, and we are going someplace fabulous — in two short days’ time, we’re off to Ethiopia. Not exactly a romantic, sun-drenched Caribbean getaway or a cottage in the west of Ireland or anything like we had envisioned.
But then, we didn’t plan on marking the day with an anniversary present. So that kind of changes things a bit.
We’re going to get the best anniversary present ever — our daughter.
Beats the hell out of wood or silverware.
September 6th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family, Good News |
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Last week, on my way home from backupuncture, I stopped in to visit my dear friend Heather and her kids. I do this often on the way home from my appointments, since she and I live in different cities. If I am there, I stop in.
One of the things I enjoy most about visiting them is the happy dance I am greeted with when Miss Isabella answers the door. In fact, one of my favourite things in life is the 4-year-old happy dance, hopping up and down and hollering that Auntie is here. Very few things in life make me as happy as a 4-year-old who is hopping up and down in happiness to see me.
But there was more in store for me when I arrived. Once the happy dance was done, Heather came in and took me into the kitchen to announce that this was my baby shower! There were balloons, and a cake (freshly decorated by Heather and Isabella), and presents. I was thrilled.
Now, I am not a person who a) has a lot of friends, and 2) does well as the centre of the attentions of strangers. I do okay with family events, and I used to be a teacher and a trainer so I don’t mind speaking in front of groups on a professional level one tiny bit. But I loathe surprise parties, parties thrown for me and consisting of mostly acquaintances, and corporate functions where you are being celebrated on your birthday/wedding/whatever, not because people like you, but because it is the Thing To Do and people just want an excuse to not work for an hour. I came most recently from a dysfunctional work environment where you were expected to participate in any and all events of a social nature, and bring food in for the company for the slightest occasion. It was a nightmare. Heather was there with me for 5 years, so she knows me well in this respect.
So imagine my delight to find my shower consisted of me, Heather, a 4-year-old and a barely crawling baby! It was AWESOME.
I was absolutely thrilled.
But even though we were few in number, there were still the shower festivities. There were games — balloon volleyball between myself and Isabella — and food (the aforementioned and frankly scrumptious chocolate cake, and the Little Man had a tasty bottle). And, despite the extraordinary generosity Heather (and her sister) has already shown by literally giving me tons of clothes and baby stuff, there were also presents! I got a self-feeder kit for my soon-to-be-teething daughter, and some CDs of kids’ music, and storybooks (Isabella’s favourite) and Little People. And giraffes — TWO giraffes.
It was about as perfect a shower as I could imagine. I’ve been on a high for days.
So thanks Heather and kids! Some people will take any excuse for a party. 
August 17th, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family |
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There is much joy to share.
The ever-wonderful Ricki and her husband Bruce FINALLY got their referral… a beautiful, chubby little boy, 3 months old! After a long wait and months of wondering, they have a son they will soon be able to call their own, a little boy who answers all their hopes and dreams. I can’t tell you how happy this makes us, and many others out here in this adoption community!
Also getting great news this week is Dynamite Dianne and her husband, who got a referral for a tiny, perfect, 2 1/2 month old girl! Sounding very much like our own daughter with her dislike of the paparazzi, this little one has been eagerly anticipated and is already much loved. We are all so happy for them!
And then there is us.
Yes, we got good news this week too. Late this afternoon — after a phone call to our agency yesterday confirming that none of our paperwork made it out of the Ethiopian courts before the annual closure — we got a call telling us all our paperwork is out of the courts. Yes, it’s ALL DONE and in Nairobi. (Or en route to Nairobi. Who knows? I was too busy flipping out at the time to make notes.) And I mean, ALL of it. Her birth certificate, her passport, everything. At any rate, it means we gain back 8 weeks, and all that is left is to get our travel visas to Ethiopia, which takes about a week, and to obtain one single solitary facilitation visa from the High Commission in Kenya.
One single document separates us from travelling to finally meet our daughter. One document, and some travel arrangements.
We’re a little stunned. Needless to say.
Our case worker said, with the absolute best luck, our best case scenario to travel is two weeks. Calm down… that’s the ABSOLUTE BEST, Hail-Mary-pass, miracle scenario. More likely, we will be travelling sometime in September, if all goes normally. (Plus there are problems for families trying to travel with getting flights in August, so September’s probably better anyway.)
A few weeks ago, we were pushed back to November or December. And in one day, we’ve gained it all back again.
Some days, there’s just so much joy it’s dazzling.
August 7th, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family |
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Well, Mystery Baby Girl seems to have hit the jackpot, wardrobe-wise, thanks to Heather and Sue. (click photos to embiggen)
Although, I am sure we could put a different pair of pants on her every day and she STILL wouldn’t run out…
Same thing with onesies…
There was, however, a slight problem with the shipment. Every box seemed to contain a Duncan.
Who needs MORE Duncans, I ask you? One is PLENTY.
In the end, though, a Duncan can be VERY helpful.
The wreckage…
June 29th, 2008
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Cats, Adoption, Friends and Family |
8 comments
I forget sometimes just how fortunate we, and by extension Mystery Baby Girl, are. But it’s days like today that remind me.
I was visiting with my dear friend Heather, the most excellent Miss Isabella, and the Little Man today (the Big Man was at work). Now, Heather has been a good friend to me for these past 7 years at least, helping me through some of the worst days of my life, and sharing in some of my best. She’s been a level head when things have gone rough, and added some hilarity when I have needed a good laugh. We had our own secret lunch club, even. But most of all, she’s always there to share whatever’s going on with me.
So today, I went to visit, and this is always a good time for me. Of course, I get to spend time with two of my favourite kids in all the world (even though sometimes I am not as sharp with the guessing things and the getting things and the playing things as perhaps Miss Isabella expects. But she IS tolerant of lower beings such as myself, and even gives me hugs when I have to leave. She’s giving that way.)
But today, I was in for a treat.
Assembled in Heather’s house were 7 diaper boxes stuffed full of baby clothes, and another 6 or 7 garbage bags full as well. Heather and her wonderful sister have been waiting through all the struggles we have had to have a family, and when the day finally came that I could call and tell her “It’s a Girl”, they swung into action. They gathered up all their baby clothes and toys and other essentials, got them all together, and have been waiting to give me all these fantastic hand-me-downs.
I had been forewarned. She said they had a lot. But I really didn’t grasp HOW MUCH until today.
Today I just brought home all the clothes. And my car, a small Toyota family car, was stuffed FULL of boxes and bags.
And when I brought them in, and started to comprehend just how generous they were in giving me these things, how kind and thoughtful… I just started to cry. I was just overwhelmed at their generosity and kindness.
It’s easy to feel isolated when you are adopting. You spend a lot of time poring over paperwork or thinking about timelines, and since most people have only a passing knowledge of adoption, there are not a lot of people you can share it with. So sometimes I am surprised just how lucky I am to have people like Heather and her family around at times like this. They have been supportive of our decisions and eager for news and promising me hand-me-downs and gifts right from the beginning. They have been with us on this journey from the start. And I am so grateful and fortunate, not just for my sake, but because Mystery Baby Girl will also have her Auntie Heather and her family to welcome her and love her.
She’s off to a great start in that respect. And with all these clothes, she will look FAB, too.
So it’s like Christmas here tonight. I am going through things and ooh-ing and aah-ing. And periodically I have to stop and catch my breath and realize how lucky I am to have such good friends.
Thank you Heather. (And Sue too!)
June 26th, 2008
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Adoption, Friends and Family |
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By now you may have already read that the awesome Rana has finished her 40 Days of Change. (Yay Rana! Way to go sister friend!) Well, I still have a few days left on mine, but I am doing pretty well.
You remember what I had resolved to do: 1) I was going to say something nice to myself in the mirror each day, and b) I was going to do one thing each day to get ready for the adoption. Well, I have to tell you, it’s amazing how just doing a very small thing each day can change your outlook.
One of the things I wanted to do in preparation for Mystery Baby Girl was to hang our wedding pictures up on the wall. Now, I know you’re scratching your head at how our wedding pictures can possibly be a way to prepare for our adoption. But really, it is. At least, it is to me.
See… Children love photos. They love to look at themselves in photos. They love to see people they know in photos and make the connection: “This is ______.” I remember my nieces running over and cooing over and kissing a photo of my mom, even though she died 20-something years before they were born. And I remember when my nieces were tiny, walking around and carrying them to look at pictures of family, and point and have them tell me who each one is. It’s part of being a part of a family, to me — and, I am sure, something I probably did as a child, too.
Now, I am extremely camera-shy. I flee from getting my picture taken, and I am actually physically upset by the thought of other people having pictures of me. I am very, very unphotogenic, and absolutely loathe looking at myself in pictures. Combine that with a very poor self-image and you end up with very few photos of me at all. So it was a really big deal for me to get photos done at my wedding.
But one of the motivators for me to have wedding photos done was that if I were to die, particularly if I were to die young as my mother did, I wanted my children to have pictures of me. They might not remember me, but I wanted some evidence that I actually existed. I know, it sounds foolish, but that’s the truth. It was important to me because photos are all I had of my mom, really. A couple of blurry memories, and a couple of photos of a very pretty young woman who became my mom.
So I wanted my kids to have photos of me. And I wanted my kids to be able to look at my pictures and not be ashamed of how their mother looked. If that was all they had of me, after I was gone, I did not want them to remember an ugly mom.
So I got all dolled up — my salon gurus rocked my hair and makeup like I could not have imagined — and I had spent months getting fit and healthy in preparation for pictures. We got a lot of photos done on our wedding day, and I really actually like the pictures we had taken.
Well, now it’s 5 years later. I’m still around — I’ve outlived my mom by a few years now. I am still as phobic as ever of getting my picture taken — probably even moreso because I am overweight now — but now, we are *this close* to actually having a family. So it was time to put a few of our wedding snaps up on the wall. I want to be able to walk Mystery Baby Girl around and look at pictures and point and identify her favourite people, just like I have done with all the babies in our family. I want her to be able to point and show me Mommy and Daddy and Grammie and Granddad and all her aunties and uncles and cousins and all the people who love her. And then, I want her to be able to point at photos of her, too. I want her to identify her place in this family.
But it all starts with those wedding pictures.
And now, as I walk by, every time I look at these pictures, hanging on the wall, I feel really content. I feel like somebody lives in this house and calls it home. I feel like this is a place where a family lives. And I know that our daughter will have pictures of me, and that’s important.
And I feel like now, we’re that much more ready to bring our girl home.
June 24th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Adoption, Friends and Family |
10 comments
It’s another day with not much to say. But today, it’s because I’m having one of those days where there’s a lot on my mind — but it’s all disjointed thoughts, swirling around. I’m not making much sense of them, or at least nothing coherent to write down. It’s one of those days when you have a case of (as one of my ESL students used to call it) “blender head”.
(”Blender head”. Heh heh. Still makes me laugh. But so apt!)
Today’s blender head revolves around baby things and adoption things and family things. So here are some of the things swirling around my blender head this morning:
- I was searching for my Cow Bag (It’s a small bag made of cow-pattern fabric. Duh.) this morning, which I use when I walk to hold my keys and my inhaler and kleenex and whatnot. And I found the journal I started for our baby on the day I found out I was pregnant. I read a couple of entries, and it made me so sad for that woman. She was so full of hope and expectation and she wrote something to her baby every day. She told the baby how she was feeling and how big the baby was and all her hopes and dreams. Of course, the journal ends abruptly around the 10 week mark when I miscarried. It made me cry, and just goes to show that although adoption is going to be a great way to grow our family, the mourning for infertility and things never to be and babies lost never really goes away. Adoption is not a replacement, a sudden erasing of the pain of infertility. It’s just another wonderful path on the road to family. And it drives me a little crazy when people think (with the best of intentions, mind you) that now that we are adopting, that everything is magically all better and we’re never going to be sad about infertility again. It doesn’t work that way.
- On a side note, I think that experience plus infertility treatment made me a bit better equipped to deal with the waiting involved with adoption, because all the disappointment taught me never to get my hopes up for anything.
- On the flip side, BDH made me belly laugh the other day when he said he’s quite excited about adopting. And one of the reasons is because when he looks at our collective medical histories — including, but not limited to, asthma, allergies, diabetes, bad knees, bad backs, high blood pressure, heart disease, MS, strokes, and various sorts of cancer — he doesn’t want to pass that much bad genetics on to ANYONE, thanks very much. DUDE. Maybe it’s a good thing we’re not reproducing!
- I used to resent the way that once many women had babies, they were part of the Special Mommies Club. And as a childless woman, I was suddenly left out of the loop. I wasn’t fit to socialize with anymore. And I was one they decided would be a good choice to work late or on taxing projects at work because I didn’t have a family to go home to. Stuff like that drove me crazy. It’s especially bad on my street. But today, as I came out onto my porch to work, and saw two of the Queens of the Special Mommies Club shouting greetings at each other and baby talk at each other’s kids, I was actually kind of GLAD I’m not part of the club. (It doesn’t stop the club from letting their kids play all over my front lawn or congregate on the sidewalk outside my house, though. What, do these mommies have infertility radar or something?)
- I read articles in the news, like a recent piece in the Globe and Mail about adoption where they glibly say things like Africa is becoming the new China. And they post quotes about how people are shopping for kids, and how money is the big motivator, and they always trot out the celebrities and act like it’s all a fashion thing. Sure, there’s positives in it. Of course there are. But it’s also got its fair share of sensationalist information, too, and this is what most people seem to cotton on to. And it strikes me how much bullshit these articles spread about along with the interesting factoids. And it makes me so angry that these sorts of things, inadvertently or not, colour the public at large’s opinions of international adoption and fuel their biases.
- I can hear my lovely neighbour’s 8-month-old twins crying their eyes out next door, and I admire how she keeps an even keel. I used to have such silly girl thoughts about how much fun it would be to have twins (”Instant family!” “Matching outfits!” “Blah blah blah!”) and now I just think how hard it must be. I wish I could offer to help sometimes, but she’s a pretty private person and I don’t want to intrude. And I don’t want to be pushy, and come off like the crazy infertile neighbour desperate to care for a baby. And part of it is, I think sometimes she’s got everything under control, and the crying and screaming are just part of their everyday routine, and she’s coping just fine. So I don’t.
- I feel like a failure at the mommy game sometimes, because seriously? I just Do. Not. Want. to face cleaning and decorating that room. Am I a bad mommy-to-be? I suppose I am. But it’s the last thing I want to do right now. It just seems so… forced. There’s no baby to prepare it for yet. I am not excited. So why pretend? But then, we’ll get a call from the agency that’s going to smack me upside the head like a sock full of bricks.
- There are so many things we want to do to get ready for impending familyhood, but this year the tax man has ensured that this will NOT be happening, as he’s asking us for a gobsmacking amount of money when we file our taxes. The tax man is a BASTARD (and not in a good way, either). It’s a good thing our child will be too small to notice that we do not have gates up on our backyard or a finished patio or whatever until at least next year. And by that time, we’ll be able to claim our adoption stuff and THEN? I am making the tax man my bitch.
April 17th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Infertility, Adoption, Friends and Family |
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Allow me to quote a bit of Shakespeare on this fine morning, from one of my all-time favourite movies, Much Ado About Nothing:
Leonato: Neighbors, you are tedious.
Dogberry: It pleases your worship to say so, but we are only the poor Duke’s officers; truly, for my own part, if I were as tedious as a king, I could find in my heart to bestow it all on your worship.
(I love that movie. It is beyond awesome. But I digress.)
Well, I wake this morning to find myself a bit of a Dogberry, having been quite tedious to a poor unsuspecting virtual neighour last evening.
(”What the hell are you saying?” you ask yourself at this point in the story. “Speak English, woman, or I shall go look at People.com instead.”)
Okay. So… Yeah. I was a bit of a boob yesterday, and now is my turn to apologize.
Our agency did something really dumb yesterday. I can’t say what, exactly. And it was an honest mistake but still… really dumb. Anyway, I was all ranty and peevish and waving my fist at the world in righteous indignation.
Call it misdirected frustration at this endless wait for a referral. Whatever.
Anyway, did I react in a rational manner? Did I take a cool and considered look at the issue and address it appropriately? (As BDH did…)
Oh no I did NOT!
So what did I do instead? Well, I fired off a disjointed missive of futile peevishness via email to another waiting adoptive parent, the awesome and ever-marvellous Nicky. Who, I am sure, looked at this email in her inbox and thought “who is this raving nutbar and why is she bugging ME?”
And so, Miss Nicky, in the cool light of morning, after a cup of coffee, I say: my sincere apologies for venting spleen into your inbox.
Nobody needs to come home from work and find an email from a crazy person. It sets one off one’s dinner.
(Although in my own defense, I was hopped up on sugar from eating a bucketload of Quality Street chocolates. But that is no excuse!!)
So, to continue on the Shakespearean fool theme, take comfort in the fact that “though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass” and that I will “be condemned into everlasting redemption for this.”
And now that I have issued a most necessary apology — Happy Valentine’s Day everyone!
Oh… “And Master, sir, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall assert, that I am an ass.”
(And you thought you wouldn’t learn anything by reading this blog. HA!)
February 14th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Adoption, Friends and Family |
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We’re home. And while I love being on vacation, it is quite nice to be home.
I find we miss things when we’re away, just little things about our daily lives and routines and such. All our stuff is around us here, so there are myriad options of things to do and things that you might need. When you’re away, you’re in someone else’s home or cooking in someone else’s kitchen or sleeping in an unfamiliar bed, and no matter how wonderful the place is that you’re visiting, you still miss your stuff. So it’s nice to be back for the familiarity of it all.
We had a lovely week away. Relaxing. Surrounded by loved ones. More food than could feed the Prussian army. Endless glasses of wine. Sleeping late. And a crossword puzzle for every day of the week! It was wonderful.
But still, we’re happy to be home. We missed the cats. We even had little cameras set up so we could log in and watch them while we were away. We saw lots of sleeping. Mostly Lucy. And we did not see Duncan ONCE during the entire week — and we worried that his sisters had killed him and buried the body in one of the litter boxes. BDH missed Duncan, his Little Buddy, in particular. (It’s a guy thing.)
So there was much snuggling and scratching under the chin and cats-on-laps when we got home.
And The Bubby. If you can believe it, we missed the Incredible Shrieking Bubby. BDH got up early yesterday morning — he let me sleep in — and went out to the 24 hr. grocery store and picked up groceries for the week and bought me a coffee from my favourite coffeeshop and then he went to the vet and picked up Opus. He had really missed her. She had been boarded all week because she is so old and fragile and… well… DEMANDING… so she had a staff to attend to her every whim. So he brought her home and we gave her many, many cuddles and lots of love.
And it only took her about 45 minutes to begin shouting her fool head off at us again. But that was okay.
So BDH has been preparing every meal since we got home — I think he’s enjoying puttering around his own kitchen again. We’re not answering the phone and we’re staying indoors as much as possible. And we’re enjoying the quiet and futzing around on computers and laughing at the cats’ antics and generally relaxing.
It’s like a vacation after our vacation. Two vacations in a row.
I may even nap.
January 17th, 2008
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Everyday Life Stuff, Holidays, Cats, Friends and Family |
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Here we are in 2008. Is everything changed? Do we all feel renewed and different?
Nah. Didn’t think so.
New Years is always such an odd event. I mean, not just for the drunken revelling and beer-goggle choices in the evening’s partners and the random kissing of strangers, although for the outsider looking in that can all be pretty amusing. But it’s odd because it’s basically a day like every other, except people use it as the start of their life’s “do over”.
So many resolutions are made. People make promises to themselves that the majority won’t keep. They set themselves up for failure, year after year. But hey, at least they get to get all drunk and party, party, party while they do it!
I used to try to make resolutions. I used to say, “Okay, it’s the new year. It’s a good day to start X or Y or Z, or change A or B or C about myself”.
And usually? MONUMENTAL failure. I know that there are some people that can keep their resolutions, faithfully, and change their lives for the better. I am NOT one of those people.
There have been years where a resolution has been broken THAT. SAME. DAY. Resolve to eat better? Yes, well, that was before I found myself mindlessly eating chocolates from the bowl on the coffeetable while absorbed in a movie. Resolve to exercise more? Yes, well usually that train is running out of the station on the first very cold/snowy/rainy/inclement weather of any sort — and I am not running after it, but rather sitting on my butt somewhere. Resolve to lose weight? See the two previous resolutions.
For the most part, though, I can keep a few of them going for a little while. I used to start them with a journal. Needless to say, both the journal and the resolutions were abandoned completely — if I did VERY well, mind you — by March or April or so. Our house is littered with journals, full of fervent writing for the first 20 or 30 pages… but after that, you’re looking at the middle of a great big empty.
But in recent years, our lives have been too up-in-the-air, too much at the mercy of others, for us to even want to make any sort of resolution. We had doctors telling us what to do and what not to do and when to come and go, and agencies telling us what to bring them and when and why. And 2008 is going to be no exception. For the first half, our lives will be at the mercy of decision-makers here and in Kenya and in Ethiopia, and for the second half, they will be will be at the mercy of a little person who — I am sure — intends to rule our lives with a chubby iron fist and a winning smile.
Try keeping your resolve in the face of THAT.
But there are some suggestions I can make to myself that will be easier to follow. I will try to keep my perspective as best I can this year in the face of what will doubtless be some daunting situations. I want to try to be a more organized manager of our home, and a more attentive and more patient wife and pet owner and, eventually, mother. I can try to work toward being healthier and better prepared for the rigours of travel and parenthood. I should continue to try to be a good person, in general.
But those are things that are ongoing. They don’t require a special date to tell me it’s time to start.
January 2nd, 2008
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Holidays, Adoption, Friends and Family, Fitness and fatness |
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It’s another lazy weekend here at the House of Peevish. And what better way to be lazy than indulging in computer games?
Well, for us, it’s a good thing. But we’re geeks like that.
What TV is to most people, computers are to us. We don’t have TV in the conventional sense anymore. We cancelled cable at least a year ago, and we haven’t missed it. We have a ton of DVDs, sure, and we get many, many repeated views out of them (preparation, no doubt, for the endless repetition of much loved DVDs by our Mystery Baby over the coming years!) but for pure mindless fun, computers are it. Where other people sit down in front of TV shows and enjoy some mindless entertainment, that’s what we do with a computer. Or an iPod or a DS or a Playstation.
So, with an impending vacation back home in NS, where I have planned to book at least an afternoon with one of my favourite nieces, I decided to get prepared. The last time we visited, we played Sims 2 for an afternoon and had a blast.
If you don’t know what Sims is, it’s like a game where you are a god and this is the world you create and these are the mere mortals whose lives you get to control. It’s a game where you design people and help them live everyday life. You raise them, teach them to exercise and cook and clean and play games and all sorts of everyday things. You send them off to school and work and introduce them to other Sims and marry them off. You can get them involved in affairs, you can have them abducted by aliens, and you can even kill them off, if you get cheesed with them. It’s like The Sims of Our Lives. Or the Sims and the Restless. Or even All My Sims.
It’s a kids game, and it’s simple and fun and mindless. (And for me, the game is not so much the attraction as the ability to design and decorate buildings. I could do that for hours.)
And so this year, I have loaded up all the Sims games we own. Every. last. version. (Except the holidays one, because I couldn’t get it to load last night, but I’ll keep trying.) So we have Sims cats and dogs and birds, Sims who can go to university, Sims who can own businesses… we are READY.
But one of the problems with Sims is that it is as addictive as hell. You can lose hours and days playing it. And so, yesterday, I did. I loaded everything up and started trying all the new stuff. And I built a university, and I sent a Sim off to university, and I remodeled another Sim couple’s home and bought them a pet (a lovely parakeet called Wally). I made a cat and a dog, designed very specifically with breed characteristics and coat colours and everything. And before I knew it, it was midnight.
So I am pooped today. But there are two other things that weekends are good for — big mugs of coffee in the morning, and naps in the afternoon. And since I’ll likely spend a few more hours playing Sims again today, both of those things will come in handy.
December 30th, 2007
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Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family |
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I’m enjoying such a feeling of contentment this morning. It’s true. I know, you are shocked.
Despite the nasty weather, despite our debt, despite issues with family, and despite myriad other little niggling life problems, I had such a nice weekend. And despite the inevitability of Monday coming, I still feel good.
A lot of it is because we had a wonderful weekend. A really great weekend. And I really savoured it, all weekend long. Even when we were working, it was good.
We had to clean like maniacs before friends came to visit on Saturday afternoon. And we cleaned for hours — but without the panic and stress I usually feel when people are coming over. A lot of it is because, since I am at home these days, I can keep on top of the housework and so it isn’t such a massively big job as it used to be. So we worked together, we cleaned the whole house, and it wasn’t a huge terrible chore. We chatted while we worked, and we just went room to room and got it done. Now, as I look around the room, it is tidy and clean and comfortable. And that makes me content. I love to be in a clean house.
Having friends over is also really nice. I so rarely get to socialize these days, now that I don’t go off to work every day, so having the opportunity to sit and chat and laugh with friends is great. Also, because we have very little money, we can’t afford to socialize as much as we used to, so when we do have the chance, it’s a real treat. And our friends are so laid back, there is no need to wait on them or fuss about things. And we introduced them to “Guitar Hero” which went over really well (although I do not play, because the scrolling screen hurts my eyes, but I do enjoy being around when others play).
We also went out to dinner on Saturday to quite possibly my favourite restaurant in the entire world. We had a spectacularly good dinner and some excellent wine and we were in an atmosphere where we feel at home. We know the staff and they make us feel so welcome. It was relaxing and lovely. Good food, good wine, good conversation, good friends — a perfect evening.
Saturday night through until this morning, we had a storm blow through, with snow and freezing rain and cold winds and rain. So yesterday, we relaxed all day in the house, while the storm carried on outside. I had supper in the crock pot so I didn’t have to worry about cooking. The house was clean and there was nothing pressing to do. It was nice. Eventually we had to go outside and shovel our way out of the mess and clear the driveway, but even that was nice. (Of course, I don’t mind shovelling the driveway — I like the hard work and I do it during the daytime or in the evening when nobody else is out to bug me and it is quiet.) The air last night was still and warm, and although it is really hard work, it was really pleasant. And BDH helped me, which he doesn’t often do because he hates shovelling the driveway so much, and even he had a not-completely-ass time of it.
So today, I have a bit of a hangover of contentment. I know there are things to worry about, like money and the upcoming holidays and cleaning and whatever. But right now, I still feel really positive. I am still enjoying that blissed-out feeling from the weekend. And I’m going to go with it, for as long as it lasts.
December 3rd, 2007
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Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family |
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This morning, a brand new 7 lb 14 oz baby boy was born into our extended family of dear friends. He doesn’t have a name yet, but he is already much loved by his mom and dad and Big Sister Isabella.
As his mother and father marvel at the perfection of their new son, and drink in all the wonder of this new little life, I find myself a little choked up. A brand-new baby. So wanted. So loved.
A miracle. What else can you call it?
I am an auntie again!
November 27th, 2007
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Friends and Family, Good News |
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It’s cool and clear and sunny this morning. It’s completely quiet in my neighbourhood, which is a rare treat with house construction going on around the corner. Despite waking up tired, it’s put me in a contemplative and somewhat optimistic frame of mind, which I am the first to admit, is a rather unusual way to start a Monday.
- My husband spent the day yesterday tidying up around the house, doing laundry, and cleaning. It was so kind of him. He said I am so busy writing these days that he wanted to help out, and he said sometimes he feels like he doesn’t help out enough around the house. So he put things away and threw stuff out and vacuumed and did laundry, all unasked. It’s such a treat to look around and see so much tidied up. It makes my job easier during the day, certainly. But it’s also so lovely to have him take the time out of his weekend to do this for me, just because he wanted to. He really is a wonderful fellow. I’m very lucky.
- I lose sight sometimes of all that my husband does for me, and not just cleaning up on a Sunday afternoon. He works so hard every day so that I can stay at home and be a mom and write — fulfilling two dreams I have. Without his support I’d never be able to stay home and write, for no money and little more than praise and internet hits, because it is all I ever really wanted to do in life. (Except, of course, for the money bit. I’d love to make some money at it.) And without his support and strength I’d never be able to have made it through the last few rough years. And I’d certainly never have been able to get to the point where we’re anticipating the arrival of the first photograph of our child. And I certainly never thought I’d be able to be a mom.
- My little old kitty turned 18 years old last week, and the staff at the cat clinic signed and sent out a birthday card to her. Now, we all know she can’t read, or read a calendar, and that the card is really for us, but still… it was so kind of them. Bubby has been at the vet so much these past few years, and I think there were a few times when they thought she wasn’t going to make it. I know we certainly did. And I think that they’ve grown a bit attached to our tiny old girl, despite her occasional peevishness and bad behavior when she goes in for visits. So it meant a lot to us to get this card, signed with all their little personal messages and good wishes. It’s funny how this little 6 1/2 pound bundle of peevishness and sweetness has touched so many lives.
- My elderly old kitty, with hearing failing and confusion a regular part of her day, wants nothing more each day than to climb up into my lap and just sit and be cuddled. (Well, that and her dinner and a nice bowl of milk.) She sits and purrs and happily puts up with me kissing all over her and cuddling her. There was a time, not so many years ago, when sitting still like that was Just. Not. Done. And especially not for all the kissing bits. And so while her health is slowly failing her and her mind is not as sharp as it once was, her innate sweetness is what is beginning to come to the fore. And one of the nice things about that is that, as I see her through these last days or months or years of her life, I also get to show her how much I love her and thank her for being such a good friend to me in ways that I never used to be able to do. And I am grateful for that.
- I’ve been invited to go to the gym tonight to talk to a group of 15-17 year olds about their futures — specifically, whether they want to play volleyball in university and at what level, and how to go about it. My purpose is to get them started at least thinking about whether they want to play, and if they do, to kick-start their teenage butts into action. People wonder what I get out of it, especially since it’s a lot of work for no monetary gain. Well, it’s very rewarding. No, I don’t begin to claim that I had anything to do with these kids’ successes when they do go on and play varsity ball. But I get a real kick out of seeing them do well, out of knowing they’re getting to fulfill a dream, and to see their parents and how proud they are. Plus, I get to go out and watch some games and cheer, and that’s fun. It’s a very rewarding thing to be able to do.
October 29th, 2007
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Everyday Life Stuff, Cats, Adoption, Friends and Family |
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Adoption Journey — Day 216
(Before we begin… You know what gives me great glee? That dash in the Adoption Journey title up there. Well, strictly speaking, it’s grammatically wrong. The psycho headcase I used to work for would be apoplectic at the thought of spaces between the words and the dash. I do it that way to give a big virtual two-fingers-up and a “Jog on!” at her memory. And if you get where that last little reference is from, I’ll give you a Cornetto.)
Okay. So. Where was I?
Oh yes. All about us.
Well, this is the title of the little photo pages I am putting together for our file to Ethiopia. I have been poring over photographs and fighting with software for the last little while so that I can create a little photo page booklet about our little family.
It’s really been quite fun. Yeah, I’ve been fighting with software, but that is because I was using it as an opportunity to learn more about how to use the software. So, while it’s been annoying, it didn’t really have to be. I was just trying to learn.
But outside of learning, there’s a nifty little tool that guides you as you create your photo pages. So I used that instead. And if I might say so myself… it’s starting to look pretty darn good.
I took a long time choosing photographs. I wanted to make sure we had a full picture of us (in the figurative sense) when I created these pages, because that’s the only representation of our family that the decision makers in the Ethiopian government department that receive our file will have.
I wanted it to be true.
So, we have some pictures of the two of us from our wedding, and one of BDH working on a computer. There’s one of me in a Japanese yukata (kind of a casual kimono thing) and one of me snuggling The Bubby.
Of course, there are pictures of each of the cats. They’re family too.
There are photos of our parents and our sisters and their husbands. There’s a bunch of pictures of our new baby’s cousins-to-be. And there are some of our friends, who are our extended family.
And there are pictures of us coaching volleyball. Our involvement with the kids is something we’re proud of, and something we’re good at. It’s part of us.
I had to cut so may pictures out, because there are just too many. You can’t send a whole scrapbook.
So, I settled on 8 pages. I know its too much. But I don’t care.
We’re two busy, happy people surrounded by family and friends who love us and who we love. They’re all a part of who we are.
It wouldn’t be complete otherwise. And neither would we.
August 23rd, 2007
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Adoption, Friends and Family |
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… for my darling BDH, who has fought the hard fight with crap-ass hardware today, and all on my behalf.
Like he doesn’t have enough to do, the wireless here died. And on buttons and charm, he bought a cheap little new wireless. It was a piece of crap. And after hours of configuring and cursing, we may have gone back to the busted router (albeit with cables attached), but we have email and a blog and internet again.
He’s pretty awesome, our BDH. We’d be lost without him.
August 15th, 2007
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Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family |
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…in no particular order…
Summer has been good so far.
- Less humidity than a normal July brings to southern Ontario. Although, there’s also been next to no rain, which is not cool on a number of levels. My grass is brown, my vegetable garden is stunted (except the mutant onions from Mars, but hey, it would not be summer if something didn’t go haywire in my garden) and my flowers are dying a slow pathetic death. Welcome to the desert.
- Doctor Who season 3 episodes streaming from the CBC website. Kudos to the CBC for getting this up and running so quickly and, quite frankly, so brilliantly. I don’t have cable but I loves me my Doctor Who — although he’s no Ninth Doctor, number Ten is charming and the stories are pretty good. And now I can get my fix without waiting to buy the series on DVD! The network rocks my world in so many ways this summer; this is just one of them. If they get Torchwood streaming, I’ll be happier than a person should be allowed to be.
- BDH playing soccer. He’s happier than he’s been in years now that he’s playing the game he loves again. It’s good for his health, it’s good for his spirit, and it gives us another sport to talk about (which is, for the jock wife, a big bonus).
- Our homestudy is done. There’s a big load off, and now that it’s done it’s done forever. If we adopt in future, the homestudy still applies (with a quick update).
- Volleyball. I’m getting my fix this summer, what with all the international competitions, High Performance, and one of our former players off to university in the US. Just wish I could watch more online — it would make my blogging job easier.
- The Mayor got a job. And, I think, so did the Mayor’s Wife. All I know is they’re not around and they’re not bugging me.
- Wireless internet access. I’m on the porch using my laptop, with decent internet access. I don’t have to miss the summer because I am sitting inside.
- The cats are healthy, particularly Opus. So far. Knock on wood. We just can’t afford any more major health crises this year with all the fees to be paid for the adoption. Plus, we can do without the added stress and worry.
- Friends with barbeques. We’ve been visiting friends a few times, and it’s been lovely. Not least of which is the wonderful food we’ve enjoyed, cooked on the grill. It’s such a treat in summer to grill outdoors. Our barbeque — and I use the term loosely, only in the larger philosophical sense, since our barbeque stopped resembling a barbeque years ago — is currently home to various species of insect and probably rodent.
- Being able to drink wine. I could not drink while there was a chance I might be pregnant — so, for the last two years or so, while I was doing infertility treatments. Not that I can drink much now, but at least enjoying a glass of wine with friends out on the deck of an evening is not a problem.
July 25th, 2007
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Everyday Life Stuff, Cats, Adoption, Friends and Family, Volleyball |
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OY. We got home at 2:30 am this morning.
We had a great day with friends yesterday, going to see some musical theatre, having a BBQ at their cottage, going out in their boat and sitting out by a campfire. There was fantastic food, a lovely boat ride, very bad s’mores, and a cute kitten to cuddle with. We ate well, spent the time with some great company, and sat out chatting and watching shooting stars until the wee hours. It was a lovely day.
But getting to bed at 3 am! We feel like we have hangovers, only without having had anything to drink.
I hope we get to do it again. For the fun we had, the price to be paid? Totally worth it.
July 22nd, 2007
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Friends and Family |
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I’m carrying on with my project of scanning old negatives and photos into the computer, so we always have a digital copy. It’s sometimes tedious — the film I had developed in Japan was done in sheets of 6 images, instead of the 4 normally done here, and so it requires cutting the negative to fit the scanner. And then there’s matching the images up to the photos I have, so I can get the description right and file the digital images accordingly. So, it’s a bit of a needle in a haystack at times.
Still, it’s been really nice to revisit all the places I’ve been. I remember some places so vividly, and others I have no idea about. I remember some outings so well, and looking at the images reminds me how very lucky I’ve been to have had the opportunities I’ve had. I’ve travelled so many places.
The Japan pictures are especially fun. Now that I am older, I really love looking at all the things I got to see and do, and I realize now what an opportunity of a lifetime that really was. In hindsight, I should have stayed on and saw more and did more. But I was young, and we’re not always so smart when we’re young.
I get homesick for Japan sometimes. I miss so many little things — temples and gardens I’d go to escape, places I’d shop, food, just mundane little aspects of everyday life — it’s hard to believe it was over 15 years ago. It’s all still so vivid when I look at these pictures.
Family pictures, photos from school, trips and travels –it’s all part of our history. It’s BDH’s and my history as a family. It’s amazing the things we’ve seen, the people we’ve met, what we’ve done.
I can’t wait until technology changes in the future, and I get to do this all again.
July 11th, 2007
Posted by
CinnamonOpus |
Everyday Life Stuff, Friends and Family, Fun Stuff |
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Happy Canada Day everyone!
As we woke to yet another day of sunny skies and warm temperatures, and the sound of the neighbour hammering away at his deck, we have resolved to go away today and enjoy the holiday. Well, not really “away” exactly. We’re going to go to a neighbouring town for the day and enjoy the festivities and fireworks.
BDH has often lamented not being home in his small hometown in NS on Canada Day, because they have some lovely, gentle festivities to commemorate the holiday. They have a parade, and some games apparently, as well as the obligatory firework display. I think he misses the small-town atmosphere on days like this. He’s really quite a small-town boy at heart, as much as he loves the delights of restaurants and big cinemas and shopping that comes with living in a larger suburban area.
So we got a call from a friend yesterday, who lives in a small town just north of here. He’s a member of the local Rotary club and as such, often has responsibilities when these holidays roll around to organize celebrations for the town. So he and his cohorts have organized a wonderful day of activities for the town. There’s a volleyball tournament on the fairground, as well as a BBQ where a hot dog, a pop, an ice cream and a flag can be had for $3 — a steal, in my books. And then, at night, there will be fireworks.
I mentioned this yesterday to BDH, since I thought this would be something right up his alley. And I have to tell you, his mood instantly brightened. It’s just the kind of thing he would love to do on a holiday like this, and he woke up today really looking forward to it.
It’s not that we don’t have these sorts of activities going on here in town. Of course, there are lots of things planned for today. And I hear that the fireworks display that is held annually in the park downtown is always very good. But the logistics of attending any sort of civic event in a city of 100,000 can be a bit daunting. Just getting to these events can discourage one from ever trying to participate. There’s a mess of parking to worry about, getting in and out of these parks and places that host events, and usually a lot more people than we are comfortable with. We’re not so good in a crush of people.
So for us, a small-town atmosphere is perfect. We can enjoy the events without too many of the hassles. Sure, it is a bit of a drive, and we are not part of the town so we don’t know a ton of people. But we do know a few, and we hope to make more friends as the day goes on. It will be fun.
So as the neighbour hammers away next door, and the trailer trash a few doors down have friends over and stand around by their cars in the street drinking beers, or sit in day-glow pink camouflage lawnchairs by their faux-fire pit and set off fireworks right next to the tinder-dry conservation area, we’ll be hitting the road and heading off to farm country. Heading out for a bit of small-town camaraderie and good times with friends and soon-to-be friends.
Sounds perfect to me.
July 1st, 2007
Posted by
CinnamonOpus |
Holidays, Friends and Family |
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Keep a thought in your heart for our friend Fiona today, as she lost her beloved canine friend Ron on the weekend, after a long and valiant fight against liver disease.
I have been thinking a lot about her darling girl and how sick she has been over the past while, as it has kind of paralleled our struggles with Opus’s health. Ron was a beautiful dog and a much-beloved member of Fiona’s family. But sometimes, you have to make the decision, no matter how painful for you, to do what is best for your pet, and so my heart hurts for Fiona and her sweetie today. They made that agonizing decision to do what is best for their girl.
They had to say goodbye to someone they love, someone who is irreplaceable. They love her that much.
I never thought I could cry so much over a little dog that I had never met. But I have come to know Ron through Fiona’s stories, and she was a wonderful dog, a faithful companion, and a best friend. She was a good girl.
Bye, Ron.
June 19th, 2007
Posted by
CinnamonOpus |
Friends and Family |
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I’ve known quite a few people in my online life. I’ve “met” them through message boards, online communities, blogs, and the like. Many have, over the years, become really good friends, and people I have come to like very much. This despite the fact that I’ve rarely met any of them in real life.
Yesterday, two of these dear friends gave me an incredible surprise. Apparently, the two of them have been consipiring over this surprise for quite some time.
They both have come to know a fair bit about me, and know about everything that’s been going on with infertility and adoption, have followed my stories of cat adventures and misadventures, know the work BDH and I have done with volleyball teams, that sort of thing. And so at one point they made plans together to send me a gift.
One of these friends is Kelly, who I talk to almost every day and has been like part of the family to BDH and myself for so long, it’s hard to believe we met online. The gift was Kelly’s idea. Kelly commissioned this gift from our other friend Marcie, who, besides being a friend who has always been supportive and encouraging to me, is also an incredibly gifted artist. She works in stained glass.
So, yesterday I received a box from Monarch Glass and More, which is Marcie’s studio/business. (Now, if you think I am exaggerating when I tell you Marcie is gifted, have a look through the site at some of the work she has done. She has some incredible talent.) I opened it to find a carefully wrapped stained glass suncatcher.
It was my cat, Opus.
BDH tells me that Kelly tried to find a picture of Opus that she could use for this gift she was thinking of, so that I would have something special to always remember my dear kitty. Then she sent it along to Marcie, who thought she could make something that captured The Bubby. She made this gorgeous piece, just from looking at a picture.
And it’s perfect. The likeness is incredible. Somehow, Marcie has found glass that captures Opus’s tabby fur — it’s kind of striped in shades of brown and gray. She put two little white paws on her, just like Opus. Big bright eyes, just like my girl. And the pose they chose is perfect, like we often see from Opus when she’s relaxing in a sunbeam. I will post pictures once I get it hung up and can get some pictures of it.
I was so touched. Kelly was so incredibly thoughtful, to go to all the trouble of planning and ordering this, knowing how much I love my old kitty and all we’ve gone through with her over the last few years. I won’t have Opus forever, and so now, thanks to Kelly’s generosity and Marcie’s talent, I will always have something special to remember her when her time comes.
So today I celebrate three very dear friends. Thank you, Kelly, for your generosity and thoughtfulness and friendship, in this and always. Thank you Marcie, for your talent and hard work in creating something so beautiful. And thanks to both of you, I will always have something special to remember my special girlie, who has been my faithful feline companion for all these years.
I am so touched.
May 3rd, 2007
Posted by
CinnamonOpus |
Cats, Friends and Family, Good News |
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