Mar

31

By CinnamonOpus

No Comments

Categories: Adoption, Cats, Everyday Life Stuff

Life Lessons, Old and Young

I am trying to learn patience. It’s a hard lesson.

I have a cat — Opus, also known as The Bubby, star of stage, screen and watching movies with BDH — who is 18 1/2 years old. She’s my best friend, and I love her more than almost anyone on this earth. She’s also driving me slowly insane.

She’s as deaf as a post. Well, not deaf in the “I can’t hear” sense — cats don’t work that way. With cats, hearing loss is cognitive. So she’s deaf in the “I-was-thinking-of-something-else”, senile old man sort of way. In the muttering-to-herself-and-not-paying-attention sort of way. She can hear when she HAS to — things that kick in her self-preservation instincts, like sharp noises and vacuum cleaners and such. But most of the time, for all intents and purposes, she is as deaf as a post. Getting her attention is nigh unto impossible. Things she used to love — putting on music and having dance parties, having big games of chase — she can’t do anymore because she can’t hear.

Plus, her English isn’t as good as it used to be. (I know you think I am kidding, but hear me out.) That’s a problem. It’s part-and-parcel with the hearing loss, obviously. But when she was younger, Opus knew MANY words. She responded to a huge vocabulary — and she’s a VERY smart cat, even by the vet’s standards. We had many words as cues, much like commands you use with a dog. So things I used to do by simple speech — getting her to come to me, telling her what she could and could not do, all sorts of interaction — I can’t do anymore. All the simple commands we lived our life by are no longer working.

And she shouts all. the. damn. time. Part of it, I think, is that she can’t hear so she can’t tell how loud she is being. So all her communication is at full roar. But also, some odd behaviours are kicking in as a response to the hearing loss. She howls like she is in a cat fight whenever she wanders off alone to the litter box or to eat, almost as though she is trying to scare away anyone who might be a threat to her, because she cannot hear threats coming very well.

And she knows something is wrong too. She follows me everywhere. She needs much more attention than she used to. And she is slower and more frail.

And it is hard, dealing with her some days. It’s hard dealing with the constant shrieking for what seems to be no reason. It’s hard being patient with her when I want her to obey me and she doesn’t, in situations where she used to do so. Her neediness is hard. It all can be a bit wearing on me. And I lose my patience with her, and I shout at her, and she’s gotten more than a few little (soft) pats on the bum and time-outs in her cage when I get frustrated with her. Which all comes to naught, because she doesn’t hear and doesn’t know what I want anyway. She’s got the attention span of a soap dish, and she has no idea what I am going on about.

It’s not her fault. She’s so old. She’s something like 90 years old in human years. But she is a challenge.

So I have been trying to take it all as a lesson. I am trying to learn from her. I am trying to be patient and learn what’s going on and give her what she needs. Because I figure, soon enough, there will be a baby here with equally poor grasp of the language, who will cry when he or she needs something, who is unable to respond to what I tell him or her, who will need constant attention and whose needs I will have to figure out. And that, too, will require patience.

And it seems to be working, in some respects. For example, one of the reasons I am finding that Bubby is shouting a lot of the time is that she’s hungry. She’s not being obstinate — she’s ravenous. And even though there’s food out, she’s not got the cognitive skill anymore to figure out where it is. She gets confused. So I am trying to learn to distinguish what her yelling means and respond when she is hungry. And that is making it quieter around here.

Another thing I am trying to do is be patient and understanding when she wants attention. For one thing, she’s not going to be around forever, so I am taking the moments when I can get them. But also, it must be very confusing for her, this new state of being, and she’s probably a little scared when she wanders off into another room and finds herself without someone she trusts to comfort her. And if I get upset with her then she gets more upset and confused. So I am trying to be patient and understanding. How much does it cost me to give her some love and cuddles when she feels she needs it?

So I am looking at my little elderly girl as a test run for caring for a very small child. I am trying to learn what I can from this situation so that hopefully, when our child comes home, I can respond to the stresses and the crying and the upset with a good deal of patience. I am trying to learn to pay attention and listen, to learn what the crying and the behaviours mean — because with a child, crying happens for a reason. Fussing happens for a reason. Smiles happen for a reason. And they won’t have the English, the words, to tell me what they need.

And I am trying to be patient and just give Opus as much attention and cuddling as I can, because soon we will be in a similar situation with Mystery Baby. I know that when our child first comes to us, he or she will be scared and confused and need comfort and time to bond.

I am trying to learn to be a better geriatric cat owner, and hopefully, by extension, learn valuable lessons I can carry over into parenthood.

We almost lost our kitty a few years back to kidney failure. But I went into hospital a few days after she did, and she suddenly, surprisingly, got better. I always liked to tell myself that it’s because she knew I still needed her.

And in situations like this, when I am learning from her, sometimes I still say Opus knew I’d still need her. And so she’s sticking around, until she knows that her job is done and I’ll be okay on my own. She’s not finished with me yet.

Mar

30

By CinnamonOpus

4 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Odd Assortment

Things to do today:

  • Make a quiche. (ED: I actually did make a quiche for breakfast this morning, with ham and swiss cheese and red pepper and a wee bit of Dijon mustard. It was, if I must say, quite tasty.)
  • Find a place for two large vinyl-y polyester-y clown suits. (Literally. Clown suits. For Halloween.) And two big Mad-Hatter-style pimpin’ hats that go with said big plastic-y clown suits.
  • Laundry.
  • Watch last two episodes of Jekyll. Because it is Teh Awesome. (And I have to admit I am now crushing on James Nesbitt just a little. Is that bad, considering he plays a madman?) Pleasepleaseplease let there be more.
  • Clean litter boxes.
  • Start shifting crap from the baby’s room.
  • Find storage and/or garbage space for the crap shifted from the baby’s room.
  • Not die of an asthma attack. (Why is my list so full of dusty things?)
  • Sort purchased baby clothes by size in newly emptied closet in baby’s room.
  • Put those eggs over there on the stove in the fridge.
  • Sing loudly.
  • Hang drapes.

Mar

28

By CinnamonOpus

3 Comments

Categories: Fun Stuff

Friday Fun: House and Home

Although it does not look much like it outside here, spring IS coming. And with that, minds turn to spring cleaning, and yardwork, and time outdoors. And so we have around here. I’ve begun to think about some long-overdue jobs that need to get done. I’m thinking about my garden and what I will do this year. I get endless calls from lawn-care companies (which I don’t pick up). So I think today’s Friday Fun will be all about stuff around the house.

Sometimes it’s nice to stick close to home.

  1. What’s your favourite smell to smell when you walk into the house?
  2. Name 3 types of flowers you have in your garden (if you have a garden).
  3. How many pairs of shoes are by your door right now?
  4. What brand of laundry soap do you use?
  5. What was the name of a pet you had when you were a child?
  6. What colours are the bedrooms in your house?
  7. Name 3 things you had/plan to have for dinner this week.
  8. What’s one thing you’d love to do/build/put in your yard?
  9. If you had friends over for brunch, what would you serve?
  10. Is it too late for me to start seeds for my garden?

I’ll check in later. Right now I need some coffee before I can tackle any chores at all.

Mar

27

By CinnamonOpus

1 Comment

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Lists and More Lists

I’m making lists.

It started out as one list. My grocery list. But — and I’ve noticed this happens fairly frequently with lists — this one list is morphing into a bunch of lists.

Soon I will need a list of lists.

I started by making a grocery list.  But then, to keep my grocery list organized and make sure I use whatever I buy after I buy it, I also had to make a list of the things I planned to cook with said groceries. And also, since our pharmacy is in the grocery store, I needed a list of things to get at the pharmacy, which were on the grocery list but then I realized there were enough things to warrant their own list. And I go to two different grocery stores, because some things are cheaper at one, and some are cheaper at another. Plus I have to swing by the vet’s office and get some stuff there. And don’t even get me started on the list of stuff I need to get at Canadian Tire.

And then I need a list of stops to make sure I do things in the correct order, so that frozen stuff isn’t sitting in the car melting while I do this and that and the other thing.

How does this happen? When did my grocery list become a mass of scribbles? All my lists are on one piece of paper. I can’t even tell where one list ends and another begins.

When I lived in Japan, I had a fridge that was literally the size of a filing cabinet drawer in a kitchen that was basically a hall closet without the door. And I had no transportation to and from the grocery store save my own two feet. So my list was never longer or more complex than what could be carried on a 20 minute walk from the grocery store and stored in a tiny wee space.

But this? This is getting out of hand.

It’s like planning a major military offensive to go out and get groceries nowadays. Lists, strategy, plans… And it’s not like I am buying tons of stuff. It’s just that I have different places to get things now, and I can be picky about where I buy stuff.

My husband says I shop like a mom.

I am beginning to think I shop like a lunatic.

Mar

26

By CinnamonOpus

6 Comments

Categories: Adoption

Fretting, Firsts, and Forevers

Becoming a parent has a lot of romance to it, on the surface: Falling in love with your baby. Rocking her to sleep. Chubby little fingers and toes. Laughs and smiles. All the firsts new parents dream of experiencing, whether they are biological parents or adoptive parents. But of course, it’s not ALL magic, ALL the time. And with adopting, from what I have heard, depending on the age of your child and what they have experienced and what you’ve experienced, there are many particular challenges and rewards and unique moments of magic during that first few weeks with your child.

And, inevitably, it gets me to thinking.

I’ve read a fair bit in books and on other adoptive parents’ blogs about their first week or two with their child. It’s sometimes scary, sometimes heartbreaking, often very moving stuff to read, as parents learn to be parents and form a bond with their child. And when I push aside all the romantic thoughts of parenthood, and look at those first few days and weeks, I admit I am alternately terrified of the prospect and impatient for it to begin.

Things I worry about:

  • New mommy things. Feeding. Comforting. Packing enough and the right stuff. Being up all night.
  • That first time our child is sick, and being completely at a loss as to what to do. Heck, make that ANY time our child is sick. What do I do? How will I know what the right thing to do is? It’s terrifying.
  • Having an inconsolable baby who is mourning and not being able to do anything to comfort them. It’s enough to break your heart and test your endurance, and it comes right up front in the whole “new parent” thing.
  • Being able to afford everything from here on. Most adopting parents know the cash crunch — will I have enough to X? where will I get the money for Y? how will I pay off the debt for Z? And, like most adopting parents, we were not rolling in the dough before we started — in fact, it was by sheer good fortune, a couple of nifty financial people’s advice, and love that we were able to start on this journey in the first place. But I think this is a worry that never goes away for most people. It’s part of life. And looking at your child, knowing you will be caring for this little person from here on in, it suddenly takes on a whole new meaning. It becomes a very concrete thing, suddenly. “I will always take care of you.”
  • Travelling. I don’t mind BEING someplace, it’s the getting there that I worry about. I am not a good traveller — at least, by plane. And actually, the travelling in the plane itself is not so bad, but it’s the up and the down I worry about most.
  • Travelling with an upset baby. Especially when you don’t know each other very well yet.

Things I look forward to:

  • When we can no longer refer to Mystery Baby as Mystery Baby, because he or she is no longer a mystery.
  • Having moments of discovery as a parent, like finding a song that works to soothe the baby, or what sorts of first foods he likes, or what toys are favourites.
  • Getting consistently good at feeding and diapering. (I used to be good at it once. Here’s hoping it’s like riding a bike.)
  • That first time our baby recognizes us as his parents. Whether it’s acknowledging us by need or by name, it will be such an awesome thing to know that our child thinks of us as his own.
  • That first baby belly laugh, when he begins to feel safe with us and the fear has passed. I think it will be a huge emotional sigh of relief for us, to confirm that we CAN get over the grieving part and that the bonding part is on its way.
  • Seeing the baby want to snuggle with Grammy or fall for Granddad’s baby-whisperer charms (as grandchildren inevitably do).
  • Being home, together.

It seems like forever from now.

Mar

25

By CinnamonOpus

7 Comments

Categories: Adoption, Everyday Life Stuff

Well, Hello Stranger!

One of the fun things about having a blog is seeing where people are visiting from. I love to look at my stats and see where everyone comes here from, and sometimes track back to their blogs or sites. It oftentimes leads to something interesting.

Like this past weekend, for example. I used to belong to an online community a couple of years back, until real life got too busy to keep up with it. So imagine my surprise to see so many people from there popping in here all of a sudden! Seems people must have been wondering where I had gotten to or something, or wanted to check and see what I was up to. There was a link from a thread in their new community, and suddenly here they all were. So hello, lurkers! I’m still here! (*waves to all*)

Another fun thing is seeing the random search engine links that bring people here. Imagine the disappointment when some fellow in Russia or Southeast Asia or middle of Europe somewhere, searching for porn, clicks in here expecting to find some decent nudie pictures and instead, finds pictures of cats everywhere and random chatter about food and baby stuff. I get a belly laugh out of it, but it serves me right for cussing and talking about being a boob and stuff. Search engines are NOT very smart.

I also have an incurable wanderlust, so just seeing where these people are coming from is fascinating. For awhile, I was big in Pennsylvania. Sometimes, I get a lot of visitors from the UK. The odd ones are generally from really cool places I have never been, like Kuala Lumpur and Israel and Finland, but alas, they are generally spambots and so don’t stay. But still. It makes my mind wander to far off places.

But my favourite, of course, are the links back to other blogs. I love finding sites of people who have common interests, like adoption or sports or whatever, who wander in here and read for awhile. Because when I click back on the link to where they came from, it’s often to find some great reading, some valuable information, or just another person out there in the world who shares something in common. It can lead to new friendships. It can be endless hours of fun.

Teh Internets. They really do make the world so much smaller.

Mar

24

By CinnamonOpus

7 Comments

Categories: Adoption, Holidays

Rediscovering Holidays

So… another long weekend has come and gone here Chez Peevish.

We don’t do a lot on our days off. It’s as though we know that soon, we won’t be able to just sleep late and indulge our laziness on a holiday whenever we want. Because if we ever get a referral, and if we ever find ourselves parents to more than a bunch of lunatic cats, we won’t be able to sleep late or be lazy bumps on logs anymore.

Part of me is kind of sad to see those days pass, because let’s face it… who doesn’t love being lazy and whiling away a long weekend doing whatever you want? Like this weekend, for example, where we got up late, lounged around in our comfy clothes, and watched DVDs for almost the entire weekend.

But part of me is looking forward to having a small person around to jolt us out of our laziness. Because as we spend more and more years with just the two of us, there are some things that are fading out.

Take this long weekend, for example. It was Easter, but it really didn’t feel any different than any other weekend. Because there is just the two of us, it’s more of a hassle than anything to do something special to commemorate a holiday. There’s no point in making a big meal or a big fuss. But with children around, the fuss is kind of fun. There are chocolate eggs to hide and hunt for, and hot cross buns to make, and a nice dinner to sit down to.

And the same goes for all the major holidays. Without kids or family (and thanks to the ridiculously high price charged for an otherwise cheap turkey), Thanksgiving is a no-go. Christmas is just a chore, dragging out decorations for just the two of us to look at and then dragging them back into storage again a few weeks later. The only one we really get jazzed for is Halloween because the kids come to us.

We used to celebrate all the holidays like crazy, when life as a couple was new. And when we get home to visit family, of course there’s a special sort of magic to the holidays again. But after many years of just the two of us, there’s not a lot about a holiday to get excited about anymore. So having kids around brings that excitement back.

I know some parents are jaded and find the holidays to be a hassle, even with kids. And I know that for many parents, after a few years there’s a lot of work to holidays, even with kids around to add some excitement and fun. And I can’t tell you how many times some parents have looked at us, their childless friends, with their “oh, YOU’RE in for a SURPRISE” look and smug-with-a-hint-of-condescension tone of voice and told us how much they’d give for just one day of sleeping late.

But we don’t know that side of things, yet. We long for the sound of little feet coming into the bedroom and excited little voices begging to go downstairs and see what the Easter Bunny has brought. We dream of the wonder on a little face at the sight of a Christmas tree after Santa has come. And sitting down to a big family meal might be a nice change from a pan of cheese nachos in front of the TV.

So, yeah… Soon sleeping in will be a thing of the past. Soon there will be perpetual noise and mess and activity. Soon we won’t be able to watch a season of a TV show on DVD at one sitting. But maybe soon, holidays will feel special again. Soon maybe there will be a reason to look forward to a day on the calendar other than the sleep we hope to get. Soon, maybe there will be a little magic.

Seems like a fair trade off to me.

Mar

21

By CinnamonOpus

6 Comments

Categories: Fun Stuff

Friday Fun: More Random-y Meme Goodness!

Well now. Last week I got tagged by the most magical Nicky to do a “10 random things” meme. And since I don’t do a lot of social networking here on Teh Internets, I haven’t got a lot of bloggers I can tag.

But… I can tag you! (Especially those of you who don’t have blogs.) And since it’s a long weekend, it’s a nice easy thing to do for a Friday Fun.

So, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is this: list 10 random things about yourself. Anything at all — just 10 things about you.

And since I got tagged first, I’ll start.

  1. My first bedroom was an awful shade of purple. Well, what do you expect a 4-year-old to choose? (And I wasn’t allowed to change it, so it stayed purple until I was long gone off to live on my own.)
  2. I own at least 4 black felt hats.
  3. I make kickass gingerbread cookies.
  4. Although I love music, I don’t enjoy “live” CDs. I don’t care to listen to other people enjoying a performance; I’d rather enjoy it myself.
  5. We haven’t managed to get any of our wedding photos framed and up on the wall yet, and it’s been a few years.
  6. When I was very small I was in the hospital for something, and I didn’t like the nurse. So I told her I wanted to be a squirrel, so I could run away from her.
  7. One of my least favourite things I have to do when doing chores around the house is cleaning up the little whisker bits that get left all around the bathroom sink after my husband shaves. It squicks me out. YUCK.
  8. Given all the flavours of ice cream in the world, I would probably still choose vanilla.
  9. I like cats that are “talkers”. I love it when my cats come up and chat with me.
  10. My first car was totalled in a car accident.

Okay, your turn!

Mar

19

By CinnamonOpus

2 Comments

Categories: Craftiness, Everyday Life Stuff

Homesick

As I am feeling somewhat better today, I decided to tackle some sewing and mending. And, to keep me company while I work, I opened up my iTunes and put on a podcast.

I download some podcasts from the BBC on a regular basis. I’d become a fan of the BBC World Service many years ago, as my father shared his love of radios — specifically shortwave — with me as a child and through my teenage years. We’d work together on some project, like finishing the basement, and he’d put on his old shortwave radio. We’d see what faraway places and mysterious foreign voices we could tune in to, and when we found one, we’d record the location on the dial on a two-by-four we had as a doorframe in the laundry room.

So as the dulcet tones of some BBC presenter told me of what’s happening in the world, I set about my sewing. I am hemming some drapes, so I stood over an ironing board and pressed and pinned.

And it occurred to me, that it was not so long ago — or rather, it WAS so long ago, and it only felt like a short time — that I was in my apartment in Japan, listening to the World Service and sewing.

I learned to sew in Japan, because I could not buy clothes to fit without a whole lot of searching. And fabric was cheap. So I had my father ship my sewing machine over to me. And I would spend some of my weekends creating some very badly made outfits to wear.

I had a shortwave radio as well as cable radio in my apartment, so I listened almost exclusively to the World Service. It helped me feel connected to the world, to other people alone in countries not their own, and it kept me company.

So as I pressed my hem here in my living room, I was suddenly overcome with homesickness. I missed my life in Japan.

I miss something about Japan on a regular basis. Maybe it’s the food. Maybe it’s a picture of a place I used to visit or wanted to visit and never got to. I miss the trains.

Japan is a wonderful place. There’s a lot to miss. So these pangs happen fairly regularly.

But today, I remembered days sitting in my apartment — I didn’t have an ironing board that I can recall, so I would have been sitting and ironing on the floor — doing just the same as today. Listening to the Beeb, drinking coffee, and sewing.

The difference, though, is that now I have a wonderful husband and a mob of cats, so I am sometimes alone but never lonely. And I have a home with stairs, which let me tell you, is something you miss in a one-room apartment.

And I have an ironing board.  Luxury.

So, although I am homesick, I am definitely not unhappy.

Well, except for this hem, which is causing me no end of fuss and bother.

Mar

19

By CinnamonOpus

No Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

A Doctor to Cure What Ails You

Can it be? Can it be that I might get through a goodly portion of the day without feeling like I have been punched in the throat? Oh joy!

Seriously. It’s been one of those weeks. I’ve had pain on the right side of my neck and throat, of the swollen gland variety, that started late last week and has been bugging me ever since. And combine that with various and sundry sinus pain, and a general feeling of very tired, and it’s been not tons of fun. (But it just doesn’t seem inclined to want to turn into a cold of any sort, which I suppose is a good thing.)

Plus, BDH has what looks to be at least one broken finger from soccer on Monday night. At the very least, a couple of really bad sprains. Ugly, swollen, discoloured fingers.

So it’s not been the best of weeks so far here at the House of Peevish.

I have been taking it easy this week. I have been consoling myself with lots of tea, knitting and Doctor Who. The Ninth Doctor, Christopher Eccleston. Of course. (Duh!) I am almost at The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances and the appearance of the most excellent Captain Jack. If a Nine/Jack combo can’t shake you out of a sickly funk, I don’t know what can.

I have also been trying to convince the Big Damn Hero it’s time to go to emergency and get a doctor (a different sort of doctor to the one I have been seeing, obviously) to have a look at that hand. Which he is considering.

But today, I feel more human. I’ve been waggling my head around like a bobble-head doll on speed and so far, it’s much better. Could just be that I only woke up a little while ago. You know how it is — you always feel better in the morning after you’ve slept for awhile (probably medicated) but by mid-afternoon you feel like you’ve been run over by a bus. But I am optimistic.

The rain continues outside, and the snow keeps melting. The damp gets in your bones, and it’s so hard to stay warm. So just to be safe, I’ll put on some thick socks, make a big pot of tea, and make an appointment with The Doctor.

It’s okay. He’s a professional.

Mar

17

By CinnamonOpus

5 Comments

Categories: Adoption, Everyday Life Stuff

Procrastination 1, Motivation 0

As BDH started sifting through the piles and piles of STUFF — what else can you call months and months of papers and cables and discs and other miscellaneous flotsam and jetsam of everyday life? — that surround his desk on a regular basis, he stopped.

“You know,” he said, “we really should get going on the adoption stuff.”

It was kind of out of the blue, but I couldn’t disagree. It had been months since we’d done anything but shop for this adoption we’re supposedly “working” towards.

He moved more stuff about and said, “There’s all this stuff we’re supposed to have done for when we get our referral. And one day that call is going to come and then the social worker is going to tell us we’ve got, what, 3 days to get ready, and we’re going to be in a panic.”

I agreed.

And then I sat down at my computer and started surfing. And BDH wandered off to have a bath.

Honestly. How is it so hard to get this stuff done? You’d think we had so much to do, when really, there’s a list of maybe 5-10 things. It’s just so HARD to get up the gumption to do this stuff. There’s no motivation.

Part of it is practical. I mean, really — who wants to live with baby locks on their cupboards any sooner than is absolutely necessary? Who wants to have to fight each day with baby locks on the medicine cabinet (despite the fact that it’s 4 feet in the air and above the dryer) any sooner than they have to?

And I am really not keen on putting work into the baby’s room until we actually HAVE a referral. I am tired of buying gender-neutral stuff and not being able to buy age-appropriate things.

And if I am being completely honest, I don’t want to spend any more money on the “idea” of a baby. I’d like confirmation that there IS an ACTUAL baby, as opposed to a THEORETICAL baby, thankyouverymuch. I am at the point of this relationship with my agency, the social worker, the government and Ethiopia in general where I am saying, “show me the BABY!”

BAH. Also? I am a procrastinator. And endless waiting feeds RIGHT INTO the procrastination machine.

And my glands are swollen again. (Either that, or I pulled a muscle in… what, my throat?? I sprained one of my double chins?? How is that possible? It must be swollen glands. Although how would I know this? Looking back, medical school sounds like it might have been a good idea, just for moments like this when an odd part of your body hurts and you go “WTF?” But I digress.) So I am getting sick again.

So. Needless to say, not a lot of baby stuff got done. Like, in actual fact, NONE.

Although I did get some vacuuming and sweeping done. And a load of laundry. And I made a nice batch of peanut butter cookies.

Oh well. It’s another week. Maybe this week I’ll feel motivated. Maybe this week will be THE WEEK WE GET THINGS DONE.

And maybe monkeys are going to fly out of my butt.

Hells bells, where did I put that template for the fire escape plan, anyway?

Mar

16

By CinnamonOpus

2 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Hey Beautiful Day

The sun is brilliant today. It’s a warm, quiet Sunday. The Big Damn Hero left early to go and Save The World From Evil for the day with a bunch of his friends, which he does bytimes on a Sunday. So it’s just me and the mob. And they are cats so they are sleepy.

So. What’s a girl to do?

Well, first thing: make a big pot of coffee. And make sure there’s some lovely French vanilla creamer to put in it.

Head upstairs to the attic, where all the fun stuff is. Since there’s no one to share with but the cats, you can watch any movie you want, or flop down on the couch, or get out your knitting and have yarn and stuff everywhere, or whatever you want.

Open a window for yourself, and the curtains for the cats, so there are some lovely sunbeams in which to nap.

Then (since you spent a couple of hours vacuuming yesterday) take your coffee and sit in the newly-cat-hair-free comfy chair.

Open iTunes.

Play music as loud as you want. DANCE PARTY!

Skip the ballad-y type songs. (We don’t need your ballads here, sensitive boy!) Something to get the cats dancing and singing, perhaps.

Take a big, deep swig of coffee.

Stand at the window.

Look out at the melting snow and smell the spring in the air.

Enjoy.

Repeat.

Mar

14

By CinnamonOpus

6 Comments

Categories: Fun Stuff

Friday Fun: Would You Rather

Well since yesterday’s post is inspiring everyone to make good choices, here are a few choices for you.

Would you rather…

  1. …learn to belly dance or learn a martial art?
  2. …spend $1000 at Ikea or at Home Depot?
  3. …dig ditches or collect garbage?
  4. …visit the Louvre or visit the Pyramids?
  5. …have your eyesight or your hearing?
  6. …learn to play the ukelele or the flute?
  7. …be locked in a candy store or a bakery over the weekend?
  8. …snorkel or go surfing?
  9. …chop 5 pounds of onions or peel 5 pounds of potatoes?
  10. …buy me a new hat or a new shirt?

Some easy ones, some tough ones… But no sitting on the fence. You have to choose one or the other!

Mar

13

By CinnamonOpus

8 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff, Fitness and fatness

No Ego, and a Sense of Accomplishment

I’ve been struggling for quite a while now to get back into shape. I’d like to lose a lot of weight and get fit again. I’d like to feel good about myself again. But it’s a tough thing to do.

I spend a lot of time working at my computer. And I have done for the past 8-10 years. As time has passed, sitting in front of a computer, and combined with getting older, my body has switched from a well-conditioned machine into a wholly neglected tub of goo. It’s been gradual, but then my time doing fertility treatments and basically sitting around waiting for my ovaries to do their thing (which, we now know, they flatly refused to do. Bastards.) was sort of what kicked the whole sedentary thing into overdrive. (And made me puff up like the StayPuft Marshmallow Man. Which just added insult to injury.)

So I need to change a lot about my life and myself.

Motivation has been a challenge. I start out all right, but then after awhile I get bored or life gets in the way and I stall at whatever it is I am doing and then ultimately stop altogether. Winter makes hibernation and immobility so easy. There are things that have to get done that are “more important” than exercise.

Excuses. I have a million of them.

So I started doing these yoga classes. I downloaded them — they’re podcasts and they’re free — so I can do yoga here where nobody can see me and I can fit it into my schedule. And that’s been good, because it takes away one of my excuses. Well two, actually — I wasn’t willing to spend money on getting into shape, and these are free, and I don’t have to go anywhere to do them.

But even still it’s been hard to stay motivated. So I got to thinking.

The instructor of these classes, Chaz, drops little sayings or pearls of wisdom into his classes. And one of the things he always says started to hit home with me. He always talks about having “no ego” when doing yoga — that is, just because the person next to you can do a particular stretch or pose or whatever and you can’t, doesn’t matter. If you do what you can do, and stop comparing yourself to the next person — have no ego — you’ll still get the benefits of it.

So I began to think: am I comparing myself to others? Even though I’m all by myself?

The answer was yes. I am comparing myself to myself. And it’s been defeating.

I used to be what some might call a “high level” athlete, since I played a competitive sport at university. So I was really fit through high school and university. I worked out each day, in some shape or form, playing, practicing, doing weights, whatever. So when I think of myself as “in shape”, I think of that. I look at myself in the mirror, and just despise who I see because I am so far removed from that person.

Truth is, time and circumstance means I can never be that person. Not ever again. And yet, I was hating myself for NOT being her anymore. And so in the face of that, it was easy to just give up on exercising and trying to get into shape. It was impossible, based on those standards.

But then I started listening to Chaz and thinking about having no ego.

I started to think about doing what I can do. When I was doing a class, you’re supposed to listen to your body and do what you can do, and get some benefits from it. So I really started to think about that. Am I making some progress? Am I getting some benefit from what I am doing?

I got really excited the other day when I was able to do something in the class that I had never been able to do before. Just from sheer hard work. I was really happy. It wasn’t perfect, but it was CLOSE. And it was PROGRESS. And I was really pleased.

It was nice to feel good about exercise again, and not just because I looked in the mirror and saw a change. In fact, if I look in the mirror I see no change whatsoever. But when I do the class, I know that I can do this pose. I may not be able to do it today if I am not stretched enough or whatever, but I know that I CAN.

It just seemed like a much healthier way of approaching exercise.

I also began to think of a woman I once saw interviewed who had been hugely overweight once, with no money and two small children to look after. She started to look at things in that way as well. Do what you can do. So she parked her kids in the front yard, and started walking back and forth along the sidewalk in front of her house. She had to keep the kids in view, so she walked as far as she could, turned around, and walked back. Back and forth.

It was a very small thing. And she had to swallow her ego, because it was a little bit of walking. And she was doing it in front of the neighbourhood. But she just did it. She was up off the couch, and she could do what she could do. It was a sense of accomplishment.

And it blossomed. She did a little more and a little more. And she saw gradual change. And years and something like 150 pounds later, she was fit and happy and was being interviewed to tell everyone how she did it.

So I began to think, what small things can I do?

I remembered little things. Things I had read in magazines and stuff. I used to travel a lot for work, and one thing they always said to do while you were travelling is climb the stairs in your hotel if there was no fitness facility. And they advise people to take the stairs instead of an elevator at work in an office building. Hell, when I would go to practice, our coach had us run stairs each day.

So I put on some music, and I went up and down the stairs. Cost me nothing but a little time, and it was a hell of a workout. It was simple but it was effective. My heartrate was up. I was moving. I did it.

Another thing they always advise is to count your steps each day with a pedometer, and try to get 10,000 in per day. Well, I don’t know about that. But, BDH goes to play soccer at a big sports facility. And at this facility, I regularly see people walking around. So I checked it out, and one circuit of the facility is 550 metres. Half a kilometre.

So last night, while BDH played soccer, I put on my running shoes and my iPod and I walked for 6 km. So what if there were people around. So what if they could see me walking around and around. So were some other people. And I was moving.

So, yeah. I may never be the thin, ultra-fit person I once was. But trying to be? That’s my ego talking.

I have to learn to do what I can do. I have to learn to be a different me.

Mar

12

By CinnamonOpus

No Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

The Battle of the Bags

(Another “Garbage Day Adventure”, by Me. I’m thinking of writing a book.)

Bah. I TOTALLY missed garbage pickup today. Those bastards never come at a consistent time. Or, as it happens, in a consistent fashion.

Now, our city has this completely brilliant — and, not surprisingly, completely ineffective and therefore completely useless — garbage pickup scheme, by which we divide our garbage out into 3 colour coded-bags, and then they pick it up in separate trucks and reclaim as much of it as possible in a special facility built for just such a purpose. It’s theoretically very environmentally friendly, cost-effective, and is supposed to be a model for the waste disposal of the future. Except, it’s totally NOT working.

Normally, one truck comes early to pick up your “clear” garbage — this is stuff that’s not recyclable nor compostable, and it goes in a “clear” garbage bag (hence the name “clear” garbage.) Then, another truck comes by later to get your “green” garbage — food waste, and other (mostly) biodegradable items — and your “blue” garbage (recyclables), which it throws into compartments for each. And then it all gets carted off to a waste management facility where it gets separated out and as much as can be is recycled and reused.

The reality? A truck comes by and gets your clear garbage, which goes doG knows where. It comes by sometime before 9, so if you’re going to get your clear garbage out, you better be up with the sun. And since I rarely am, we rarely get clear garbage out. But I’m okay with that.

Then, sometime after that (usually HOURS after that) a truck comes by to get our blue and green garbage. They tear open your blue bags and take out any bottles that they can return for deposit (one of the perks of being a garbage man, I guess) and then they chuck both the blue AND the green into the same damn truck in the same damn compartment, thus negating any time and energy we spent sorting the stupid stuff in the first place. Then they cart IT off to doG knows where, but they sure as hell aren’t reclaiming much of it like they said they were when we started this stupid system.

SO.

This morning, I got up. I had a leisurely breakfast and got BDH’s lunch ready. I fed the cats. I waited for BDH to leave so I could put the garbage at the end of the driveway, thereby avoiding having to park it halfway up some damned snowbank. I knew I had plenty of time because the clear truck would come by first (and, as you know, I rarely can be arsed to get the clear garbage out) and then, sometime around noon, the rest of the pickup would happen.

BDH left, and I began to get the garbage together to put out. It was around 9 when I heard the truck come by. I glanced outside.

And noticed that all the clear bags were still out.

Those bastards were picking up the OTHER garbage. Blue and green. FIRST. And EARLY. And I missed it.

I watched the truck sail blithely past. I waved my fist in futile anger at the garbage gods.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOO!”

So, now, we have a can full of smelly food waste and cat litter sitting in our garage for another week. Those BASTARDS!

Thank doG it’s so cold. With any luck, all that stuff is frozen and will be just fine until next week.

But I secretly hope it thaws about 2 days before pickup day. So when they come by next week and take the lid off that can… it’ll be a snootful of STINK, man.

Mar

11

By CinnamonOpus

4 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Frosty

Because BDH asked to see them, here are some pictures from the frosty morning we woke up to.  (Also, there’s nothing much going on but my trip to the sleep clinic this morning and, well, who cares.)

Thick, fluffy frost on everything — I think the thick fog last night just froze to everything. On days like this, it’s hard to be cheesed at winter.

Before the sun…

frost 1

frost 2

(See our SUV in the bottom right corner? Compared to the giant snowbanks? Nutty.)

And after the sun came out…

frost 3

frost 4

frost 5

frost 7

frost 6

Mar

10

By CinnamonOpus

9 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

SnowSnowSnowSnowSNOW!

(Sing along with me! Oh, never mind.)

So here’s the snow. Not northern New Brunswick or Sault Ste Marie type snow, by any stretch of the imagination. But in this neck of the woods, it’s a fair bit. (Especially since I had to shovel it.)

Bear in mind it was warm and sunny all day yesterday, so this is after some melting.

Note the tree, artistically buried in the snowbank…

snow 1

Looking down the street, sidewalk tunnel all the way.

snow 2

Up the street. Soon we’ll be storing snow IN the trees, as opposed to just AROUND them.

snow 3

Bottom of the driveway. The pile is cleared from our driveway, or at least one side of it. Our neighbour’s front yard is under that pile somewhere.

snow 5

Bottom of the driveway at the street. That’s just the snow from the sidewalk to the street — only about 10 feet distance. I couldn’t put the snow up any higher.

snow 4

One of these days… SNOWBLOWER, baby.

Mar

9

By CinnamonOpus

5 Comments

Categories: Cats, Everyday Life Stuff

Just So You Know, Part 2

This?

Duncan is not amused

Is how we’re feeling after digging out through metre-high snowdrifts this morning. We’ve got snowbanks 2 metres high at the end of the driveway.

I hate winter.

Mar

8

By CinnamonOpus

No Comments

Categories: Cats, Everyday Life Stuff

Just So You Know

THIS?

Bubby hates winter

Is how we’re feeling about winter in general around here.

As we get yet another 30+ centimetres of snow…

Mar

7

By CinnamonOpus

5 Comments

Categories: Fun Stuff

Friday Fun: The Other Half

What, you didn’t think I’d just start a list and not finish it, did you? No way, man. I told you — I’m making lists these days. And crossing stuff off, too.

You don’t want to leave me with a half-done list, do you? So you have to decide:

  1. Moon or Mars?
  2. Nocturnal or not?
  3. Olives or oranges?
  4. Platypus or panda bear?
  5. Quantity or quality?
  6. Round or rectangular?
  7. (The) Sound of Music or South Pacific?
  8. Tutu or toga?
  9. Urban or undiscovered?
  10. Venice or Vienna?
  11. Wine or whiskey?
  12. Xylophone, Yueqin, or Zither? (HA! Making you work for this one!)

Phew. Another job well done.

Mar

6

By CinnamonOpus

6 Comments

Categories: Adoption, Everyday Life Stuff

Bonus Baby Bedding Bargains

(How’s that for a tongue twister?)

I had good plans for this week, I really did. I had a LIST. And yet, it’s Thursday, and the list still has some things on it. And I have to admit, some of the things remaining on the list are baby-related.

Why is it so hard to get motivated to do anything for this adoption? Is it because we’ve been in limbo for so long? Probably.

I just can’t seem to get going on any of the projects I need to get done. Without any end to the waiting, there’s just no impetus to do anything. If we get a referral someday, maybe that’ll push us to do something. But until then, we’re just in this no man’s land — or rather, no baby land — and so there are other things that move up the priorities list.

I’ve got to clean out the baby’s room, which is right now just a storage room, and get things organized. I have to paint and carpet-clean and get curtains washed and put up. I have to get furniture assembled, as right now there’s a crib and an armoire in pieces, leaning up against the wall. But with the endless waiting, there also feels like there’s endless time to do this stuff. And besides, it’s hard to believe there’s ever going to be anyone to sleep in there anyway. We’ve just been waiting so long, it doesn’t feel real anymore. There’s certainly no urgency.

Although last week, I did do a little baby-related shopping. My grocery store used to have a line of baby clothes and gear, and it slowly discontinued it. So while it was phasing it out, and prices periodically dropped, I would buy stuff. Shirts, pants, sheets… just a couple at a time. I mean, they were not the highest quality stuff — just kind of generic everyday things — but they’d be great for play clothes and everyday wear. So I got a few.

Well, last week, they had dragged a rack of them back out. I guess they never did get rid of all of them, and they were marked down ridiculously low. 2-packs of undershirts and snap-up diaper shirts were on for $2.50. Same with the fitted flannel sheets. So… I bought a buttload of each. Something like 12 undershirts in 6-12 mo. size and 12 in 12-18 mo. size. And I bought a few sheets too. And a fleece blanket. I mean, you can’t have enough of that sort of stuff, right? With the peeing and the barfing and the general babyness, you’ll need more than just a pretty bedding set. So why not get some extra sheets? And a blankie? And for $2.50 apiece, it’s a steal.

So today, it’s another cold Thursday morning, and the snow is falling. Thursday is normally grocery day around here, but I was considering putting it off because I just didn’t want to go out into the cold and clear off my car and all that nonsense. I thought I’d spend the day catching up on that list that did not get done, sweeping and mopping and hemming curtains and doG knows what else.

But then I thought of the undershirts.

They might be on clearance still. I could get a few more, right?

So, I may not be terribly motivated to get the baby’s room ready. But I can sure as heck get motivated for a great bargain, and pick up more stuff to clutter up the room until I am ready to tackle it.

Mar

5

By CinnamonOpus

9 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Snow. We Has It.

DO NOT WANT!

(Those of you who are regular readers of Cheezburger know what I mean.)

It’s snowing again. Some storm from, like, Montana or something came through last night, and now they are talking about some storm from the Adirondacks dumping snow on us today. Or maybe they’re the same place and it’s the same storm and it just gets around. Whatever. It’s still snowing.

“Quel surprise,” you say to yourself — for you are so bilingue — “as you live in CANADA and everything.”

Well, yes. This is true. You are very smart.

However, if you’ve been reading much at all of my ranting and railing here recently, you know that we in the House of Peevish are NOT the fans of the snow.

Or the prospect of shovelling which — lets be honest, here — means I have to 1) go outside in the cold and b) potentially deal with other people on the street (a.k.a. “neighbours”), two things which I don’t much enjoy.

Although Kelly loves a good story about The Mayor and The Mayor’s Wife, the chances of me coming out of an encounter with The Mayor with a good story are roughly the same as you reading a news story about a housewife in Canada repeatedly smacking her neighbour in the head with a snow shovel. Those are NOT good odds.

So, yes. Where was I? Storms from the Adirondacks and/or Montana.

Well as far as I am concerned, I don’t know why they don’t just keep their own damn snow. Why they have to keep sending it over here, I do not know.

Although, at least it’s not from Siberia.

When I lived in Japan, there was not much of a winter, per se — at least in the area where I lived. It would get cold, and snow would fall a little, but it would never stay. Winter seemed to last about 3 weeks there. It was perfect.

Although one morning, after I had been there only a month or so, it got really cold. And I had no winter coat there with me, so I came in to work red-faced and bundled up in whatever clothes I owned. And I got to chatting with my students, as was my routine, about the weather. (We started each class with small talk — a round of “how are you” and chat about the weather. Valuable and fundamental social interaction in any English-speaking country.)

So this particular day, we were chatting about how it suddenly had gotten so very cold. And that’s when my student mentioned there was a storm blowing in from Siberia.

I almost fell off my seat. Seriously. I did a double-take that they would have been proud of in the movies.

“Excuse me? SIBERIA?”

I think that’s when it hit me for the first time. “OMYDOG. I am living in ASIA.” It had never really occurred to me before.

A storm. Coming in from Siberia.

SIBERIA.

Siberia wasn’t someplace that had ever struck me as a REAL place before. I mean, I had only ever encountered it reading books, and National Geographic, and in movies and stuff. But since I’d never really dealt with Siberia up close and personal, it had never occurred to me that it was actually a REAL place.

And yet, it suddenly was. Writ large. In real life. Siberia was an actual, real place. And sending me cold weather to my warm little town in Japan.

I was, to say the least, a little freaked out. I walked around muttering, “cold weather coming in FROM SIBERIA” for DAYS. I think I might even have called home to tell people.

(And now, needless to say, I feel a bond with Siberia. For I know she is there, and I know she brings the weather.)

So yeah. More snow. Although not from Siberia, which I am sure if it DID come through would be awesome and big.

And also shovelling. I has it.

Mar

3

By CinnamonOpus

2 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Monday Morning Musings

It’s Monday. Another week begins.

  • I have generally been open to trying new foods, within reason. Lately it’s been cooking (obviously) and trying different fruit. And this weekend’s cooking experiment goes hand in hand with trying papaya for the first time, as I found last night that papaya is ass.
  • The earth is tilting once more toward the sun, and despite the fact that it is still winter, bit by bit the snowbanks are succumbing to the sun. We had rain this morning, and now the sun’s out, making piles of snow everywhere wither and shrink. Things are melty and dripping outside. This bastard winter is on it’s way out, slowly but surely.
  • Yesterday Canada lost one of her great young musicians in Jeff Healey. Godspeed, man.
  • I decided yesterday that lists are in order around here. I have been trying to work without a list for some time, and I have to say that I am a person who needs a list. Without it, things get missed. (Who am I kidding? Even WITH a list things get missed.) But BDH has been asking me about things I have neglected to do or buy or whatever on a near-constant basis this week, and it’s starting to make me feel like a failure. So it’s time to start making lists again. Also, there’s a great feeling of accomplishment to check things off a list.
  • Last night I came downstairs in the dark to get something (my list, actually, if you must know) and I happened to glance out the back window. There, behind the fence, there was a deer laying down under a tree, resting and sheltering from the rain. You could see her against the white of the snow, just chillin’. I got the binoculars and looked at her for awhile. (Kelly: I bet it was Charleston.)
  • My cat Opus is a food-seeking missile. She won’t eat what she is supposed to eat, but she’ll cut you for whatever YOU’RE eating. And she’s such a tiny little mite, it’s hard to keep any weight on her. But I got sneaky last night, and spread a teaspoonful of forbidden tasty regular cat food over her prescription cat food. She just about killed me to get to the bowl last night, and ate it all. And now she feels all jaunty because she thinks she pulled a fast one on me and ate forbidden cat food all stealth-like.
  • It looks like a day for pumpkin bread.

Mar

1

By CinnamonOpus

7 Comments

Categories: Everyday Life Stuff

Big Time Failure

BDH said recently that he’d like it if we tried some new recipes for dinner. The regular stuff was getting… well… boring. So I agreed, and I’ve been scouring the cookbooks and recipes to find stuff that looks good to make, and I plan and shop accordingly.

So, when my latest version of Canadian Living came in and BDH remarked to me, “There are some good recipes in there”, I thought I might try some of the recipes.

The first one I tried, last week, was a tomato-ey potato and sausage soup. BDH liked it, but I didn’t. But that’s fine — that kind of stuff can be packed up for him for lunches. If I can make a big pot of something for him and freeze it for lunches, he has some variety. So that’s good.

Another recipe I wanted to try was a fish sticks and sweet potato fries recipe. Both BDH and I like fish — me moreso; he’s a fair bit more particular, but he still likes it — and we both like sweet potato fries. So it seemed like a good choice.

I shopped painstakingly this week, including the ingredients for this recipe. The fish is always tough to buy. The recipe recommended tilapia, which we’ve had before and did not like, or something called basa which I’ve never heard of before, or catfish. I have had catfish and have loved it, and it’s white and flaky and firm and basically harmless, so I opted for that.

The recipe called for 4 fillets. Well, 4 fillets of catfish is A LOT, and was getting into the $20 range. So I said no, lets try 3.

I got BDH to come down and help me prepare the sweet potatoes, and I cut up the fish. The fish amounted to a LOT of fish, but I cut it up and breaded each individual piece. The recipe said to put the fries in a 450 oven on a pan covered in parchment paper. Well, parchment paper burns if you put it in an oven higher than 420. So we lined a baking sheet with tinfoil and used that instead.

After half an hour, I checked on the fries. They had turned to a congealed, mushy mass. NICE.

I put it in for another 20 minutes. They had crisped up slightly, so I put the fish in as well.

20 more minutes, and both the “fries” and the fish were underdone. Although the congealed mass of sweet potato was burning nicely to the tinfoil.

We decided to transfer everything to a baking sheet, no tinfoil. After fighting with the mass of congealed vegetables for 5 or 10 minutes, we got a big lump of it on the pan, along with the fish fingers (which did not look so bad, to be honest). We put the pan back in for another 15 minutes.

15 minutes later, we had some fairly crispy and occasionally dried out fish, and a big burned hunk of vegetable matter.

BDH gamely tried to eat it. He choked down some vegetable mass and a fish finger. I ate a few fish fingers, actually, and thought they were ok.

I went to clear the plates and saw how much was left on BDH’s plate. I thought I’d offer the fish to the cats.

You know your cooking is bad when even FOUR CATS WILL NOT EAT FISH.

(Well, that’s not entirely true. Cinnamon ate a couple of bites, but I think she didn’t want me to feel bad. She’s sweet that way.)

So I scraped everything into the garbage. And I wanted to sit down and cry. 3 hours of effort and 20 or so dollars later, and we had a full garbage bag. It’s so distressing. It’s a big failure in terms of money, time, and effort.

Oh well. When I was shopping I picked up some swiss chocolate on sale. At least I can assuage my feelings of failure with some tasty, and economical, chocolate.