There is a Crack in Everything, That’s How the Light Gets In

2016 is FUCKING FIRED, I am telling you truly. But this week? Is pretty fucking close, too. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

This week has been sucktacular. Really. Seriously. I mean, you KNOW how bad this week has been.

I’ve been struggling with holding it together through this week’s events. Have you?

I will admit, it’s not been my finest hour. Continue reading

Did You Write Anything?

So, this morning BDH asked me, “Did you write anything recently?”

(Yeah, he reads my ramblings too. You’re not alone in your shame.)

And I hadn’t, so I said so. But it’s not for want of things to write about. It’s just sometimes, there’s A LOT. And most of it is boring, everyday life stuff. (There’s a good reason I have that as one of my categories.)

Basically, there are periods of my life that fit into one of the following two categories:

  1. all about That Girl, and
  2. everything else.

Continue reading

Well, That Was Quick

Today is the 4th day of school, and That Girl is home sick with a cold.

I know that kids are just fast-moving petri dishes and grade schools are merely incubators for said petri dishes, but… three days and she comes home with a cold? Really? Good grief.

Usually, I can see it coming a mile off, because her behaviour and personality change so much as an illness starts ramping up. But honestly, I was not expecting it this early in the year.

Silly me. Continue reading

I Would Give Anything

I would give anything for my daughter to be able to go to school and have friends.

It’s not that she doesn’t go to school; she is in grade three. More to the point, she has no friends. Well, none that she can reliably count on to greet her in the morning or be happy to see her or to play with on a daily basis.

All the other kids seem to have their little pairs and groups of friends, while she has none.

She is a very likable child – there is not an adult that she has ever met who has had anything negative to say about her personality and her sweetness and her manners. She’s kind, and gentle, and caring to a fault. She’s funny and friendly and loving.

But her peers don’t seem to notice. They have studiously avoided becoming friends with her for four years now.

So what’s wrong with my kid? Continue reading

Bright Shiny New School Year

It’s September! (Although to be fair, it doesn’t feel like September because we’re under a heat warning and a humidex in the 40s.)

But it IS September, and so that means it’s time to get That Girl back to school. And with that, it also means it’s time to get back to a regular routine after a summer of none, and back to our full schedule of appointments and activities.

It’s a time of decidedly mixed feelings for me. I love and struggle with September in equal measure. Part of me cannot wait for September and fall, and part of me is sad to see the end of summer, with its sunshine and swimming and freedom. Part of me loves getting That Girl back into school and me getting back to a regular routine, and part of me feels slightly overwhelmed by the onslaught of responsibilities. Continue reading

A Full June

Well now. Look at what the cat dragged in. I have no excuse. Honestly. I could give you some song and dance about life and all its complexity, but honestly?

  1. It’s been a busy few weeks, and
  2. I’ve had nothing useful to say.

It’s just been that kind of month. We’ve all had them. Plus, with all the… sadness and violence and crap going on in the world… I’ve been feeling sadness and anger and the need to blanketfort quite a bit. And we’ve all hear enough about that stuff, for the time being. For a lifetime, really.

So instead, my focus had been turned inward — and by that I mean I have been taking time to focus on my little life here with my house and family. And there’s been a lot to do. Continue reading

Emotional Labour and Letting Yourself Take A Break

I had a little bit of a meltdown this morning.

Nothing big, but I was feeling overwhelmed and teary. I have had a lot on my mind recently, what with trying to get life organized and getting things done in a day and keeping up with That Girl’s stuff. But more recently, things to do for myself, like health stuff.

It’s been the emotional labour that’s been hard. Continue reading

In Answer To Your Question… Not So Much.

Hullo again, good people of Teh Interwebs! It is I, the bringer of peevishness and fail!

When we last saw Our Hero, she was planning on Making A Plan. And given that that was a month ago, you may ask yourself, “Did she? DID she? DID SHE MAKE A PLAN??”

Welllllllllllllllllll… ::insert high-pitched, mostly doubtful, exhaling noise here:: Continue reading

And The Plan Is… Make A Plan

We’re trying to get back into a routine here, after almost two months of disruption, but it hasn’t been easy. There’s still so much going on.

That Girl was off, on-and-off, since the start of February, as I have mentioned. During that time we had days and weeks off school, sickness, disrupted sleep, doctor trips, cancelled appointments, missed sports classes, PD days, March Break… you name it. But at the start of last week, it looked like we were going to get back on track.

That Girl got up and went to school on Monday morning feeling ready to go. She was healthy and feeling good. She was motivated. Yay! We were back on schedule! We were going to appointments. We were getting back into a routine of therapy homework.

FOR THREE DAYS. Continue reading

Morning in the Garden of Hope and Fear

I’ve been sick all week with a cold, which That Girl suffered through last week, so I have been tired and not in the best frame of mind. Probably a little overly emotional. But definitely tired.

This morning, as I was getting myself and That Girl ready to go out and run some errands, I went to get some clothes for her to wear. I had not had the spoons to put away laundry this week, so I left a basket of folded laundry in her room to be put away, and I grabbed a shirt out of the basket for her to wear.

It was a T-shirt that she got at Christmas. It’s a size 8, a little bit big, but she’ll grow into it, goodness knows. So I told her to come over so I could roll up her sleeves. And I noticed that the cuff of one sleeve had a big hole in it. A couple of holes. Continue reading

Well, That Was Predictable.

What day is it? Wednesday? Sometime in March? You know, sometimes it’s hard for me to tell because OH YEAH, STUCK INSIDE ONCE AGAIN WITH SICK KID.

Seriously. That Girl was back to school, what, a week? And then on the weekend started coming down with yet another cold, which by Monday morning came complete with 104 fever. She’s missed two full weeks of school since February began, at least.

And if you think I am tired, you can only imagine how exhausting this has all been for her. Continue reading

Boogers. Boogers Everywhere.

So, hey. How’s it going? I was away for awhile. Because I was on BOOGER PATROL.

Once again. That Girl was sick, as often happens with the under-10 set, walking petri dishes that they are. And despite the fact that it was just a cold, this one was a bit different from past colds.

Because if you’re going to catch a cold, why not do it RIGHT, I say. No point in putting in some half-arsed effort, amirite?? Continue reading

Worthwhile

It’s cold out today. We got dumped on with snow, 10 or 15 centimetres, yesterday and overnight. It was little snow, so it accumulates, and it is light and fluffy.

Our house — most of our neighbourhood, actually — is situated at the top of a hill. A ridge, actually, if the name of That Girl’s school is any indication. Consequently, it is quite often quite windy, and on days where there’s a forecast of gusting winds, particularly so.

So on days like today, with blowing snow and wind chills, trust me when I tell you, it is pretty cold. Continue reading

Out the Other Side

So, it’s been a hard couple of weeks here at the House of Peevish, for various reasons. We’ve been sick or tired or cranky, or any combination thereof, and none of us has been at our best. At least, not all the time.

We’ve been sick, definitely, with various and sundry colds and whatnot. And we of the broken sleep do not do well when we are not well rested, so that adds insult to injury. Plus, we’ve been working hard. That Girl has been going full tilt boogie with therapies and schoolwork and homework and activities, until all she wants to do of a weekend is veg in front of the TV. I go with her, because I am the Kid Sherpa, so wrangling takes its toll on me too. And BDH? Well, his job is just normally full steam ahead, at the best of times, and that’s just the way it goes. Continue reading

Dear Universe

Dear Universe,

Today I was not at my best. You sent me a parenting challenge that I have to admit I handled in fairly sucktacular fashion. I yelled at my kid. I know all parents do it, but that doesn’t make me feel any better about it.

I’ve been feeling a bit challenged with coping lately on the parenting-a-kid-with-special-needs front. I’ve been sick, to be fair. But I have had a couple of challenges in the past week or two, dealing with people and decisions and plans and general Mom stuff, and I just feel like I have been letting everyone down. All over the place.

And then today. MOM FAIL.

So, Universe, knock it the fuck off. I mean it, Universe. I am giving you huge side eye right now. I AM UNIMPRESSED.

I MEAN… please Universe, if you could just cut me and mine a little slack for a little while, I’d appreciate it. And in return, I promise not to eat the rest of the Halloween candy.

Well, maybe just the Hershey bars. But I’ll leave the rest. Or at least I will try.

Sincerely,
A Dissatisfied Customer.

P.S. I thought of just sending in an anonymous “WHO’S RESPONSIBLE?” a la Hawkeye Pierce. But I honestly don’t have the panache or the red bathrobe to pull it off.