It’s Just Who They Are

I was having a chat with my sister-in-law yesterday via Slack, as one does, and the topic turned to kids. Specifically, with special needs. Of which mine is of course one.

We were talking about all that is involved with getting kids a diagnosis, of helping them learn, of teaching them to advocate for themselves. We talked about IEPs and lesson adaptations and development.

There’s a lot involved with getting a child the education they need.

But we got to a point in the conversation where, I had to confess, there is also a lot involved with getting a parent the education they need as well.

The thought had not occurred to me, really, so fully formed and so clear before, but special education is also for the parents. Continue reading

Stress Levels: Outer Limits, Part II

So, where were we? Oh yes. When we last left our heroine at the House of Peevish, she was having a major existential crisis because, oh yeah, INSTITUTIONAL INCOMPETENCE, BUSES, AND INSURANCE.

That was a fun day, wasn’t it?

And it will comfort you to know that, in fact, exactly ZERO progress has been made on the whole “what the fuck do you mean, you’re not going to pay us for the value of our almost-brand-new car” and “what the fuck do you mean, the woman who totalled our car is also going to be driving our daughter to school on a regular basis” fronts. So that’s nice. Wouldn’t want to shake anyone’s worldviews with quick and logical resolutions to arsenumbingly stupid problems, would we?

But as I had said, that was just the start of our stress and fun, although the rest is slightly less OMG ONGOING STRESS stress and more of the WELL THAT WAS STRESSFUL, BUT NOW LOOKING BACK IT’S KIND OF HILARIOUS variety.

Because what’s not funny about subtraction, sweating, and boobs, I ask you?

Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin.

Continue reading

I Would Give Anything

I would give anything for my daughter to be able to go to school and have friends.

It’s not that she doesn’t go to school; she is in grade three. More to the point, she has no friends. Well, none that she can reliably count on to greet her in the morning or be happy to see her or to play with on a daily basis.

All the other kids seem to have their little pairs and groups of friends, while she has none.

She is a very likable child – there is not an adult that she has ever met who has had anything negative to say about her personality and her sweetness and her manners. She’s kind, and gentle, and caring to a fault. She’s funny and friendly and loving.

But her peers don’t seem to notice. They have studiously avoided becoming friends with her for four years now.

So what’s wrong with my kid? Continue reading

Bright Shiny New School Year

It’s September! (Although to be fair, it doesn’t feel like September because we’re under a heat warning and a humidex in the 40s.)

But it IS September, and so that means it’s time to get That Girl back to school. And with that, it also means it’s time to get back to a regular routine after a summer of none, and back to our full schedule of appointments and activities.

It’s a time of decidedly mixed feelings for me. I love and struggle with September in equal measure. Part of me cannot wait for September and fall, and part of me is sad to see the end of summer, with its sunshine and swimming and freedom. Part of me loves getting That Girl back into school and me getting back to a regular routine, and part of me feels slightly overwhelmed by the onslaught of responsibilities. Continue reading

Morning in the Garden of Hope and Fear

I’ve been sick all week with a cold, which That Girl suffered through last week, so I have been tired and not in the best frame of mind. Probably a little overly emotional. But definitely tired.

This morning, as I was getting myself and That Girl ready to go out and run some errands, I went to get some clothes for her to wear. I had not had the spoons to put away laundry this week, so I left a basket of folded laundry in her room to be put away, and I grabbed a shirt out of the basket for her to wear.

It was a T-shirt that she got at Christmas. It’s a size 8, a little bit big, but she’ll grow into it, goodness knows. So I told her to come over so I could roll up her sleeves. And I noticed that the cuff of one sleeve had a big hole in it. A couple of holes. Continue reading

Well, That Was Predictable.

What day is it? Wednesday? Sometime in March? You know, sometimes it’s hard for me to tell because OH YEAH, STUCK INSIDE ONCE AGAIN WITH SICK KID.

Seriously. That Girl was back to school, what, a week? And then on the weekend started coming down with yet another cold, which by Monday morning came complete with 104 fever. She’s missed two full weeks of school since February began, at least.

And if you think I am tired, you can only imagine how exhausting this has all been for her. Continue reading

What News? No News. Good News?

It’s October! And we are officially one month into the school year. And I have nothing to report.

Which, I have to admit, leaves me a bit… well, concerned is not the right word. But I’m certainly feeling a sense of vague apprehension, like maybe something is coming and I should be expecting it. Or maybe not.

Sheesh, I am crap at describing things today. Just go with it. Continue reading


Sorry I’ve been AFK for awhile. We’ve had a lot on the go.

Most specifically, as That Girl has turned 7, we had arranged for a psychoeducational evaluation to be done. This means that she gets official word, based on the analysis of the results a series of tests, about what learning disabilities or disabilities or whatever she might have. It gives her teachers a milestone from which they can develop education plans or ask for assistance or whatever might be needed, and it gives us a basis from which to look for therapies or apply for assistance or go merrily on our way.

It’s an important test, but a bit daunting.

Depending on the results, if you talk to various parents, your world can completely change. There can be a “before” and an “after” and it can be upsetting. One mom told me about her son’s diagnosis day, where he went from her “son with developmental issues” to her “autistic son”. She says she cried for weeks. Continue reading