There is a Crack in Everything, That’s How the Light Gets In

2016 is FUCKING FIRED, I am telling you truly. But this week? Is pretty fucking close, too. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH.

This week has been sucktacular. Really. Seriously. I mean, you KNOW how bad this week has been.

I’ve been struggling with holding it together through this week’s events. Have you?

I will admit, it’s not been my finest hour. Continue reading

An Update From the DIY Trenches

So, remember how last week I was all DO ALL THE THINGS!!

Well, we did!

We started two projects in the last week. The first was to redo our stairs — from carpet to wood — and the second was to make our own apple jelly.

Remember when you were younger, and you would go out with friends and drink a lot, and then wake up the next morning and swear “I am NEVER. DRINKING. AGAIN”? Continue reading

Things That Are Wrong In My World

Things are wrong in my world, people.

Normally, I occasionally do a FAIL Friday post when it is me who is the purveyor of stupid. But today? It is other people and things, and I confess that I am just shaking my head and boggling. It makes me just want to crawl into a blanket fort with snacks and alcohol until the world rights itself again.

But I do not. Instead, I come to tell YOU, my Internets Peeps. For you understand me. Continue reading

How Long Have You Lived Here (Dumbass)?

So, I have lived in Canada, and more specifically, southern Ontario, for the vast majority of my life. Let’s say 80 percent of my life, at least.

SO YOU THINK I WOULD KNOW FROM WINTER.

And yet? I have some sort of mental block that prevents me from any sort of basic fundamental knowledge of HOW WINTER WORKS. Continue reading

It’s My Own Damn Fault

So. I have made a couple fatal parenting FAILs in the past few weeks. QUELLE SURPRISE.

First, I have taught That Girl to “knit” using a little starter knitting loom. And by “taught” I mean “requires a good deal of assistance” in the creation of long tubes of yarnwork with many dropped stitches. Which means her knitting consists of much hollering of MOOOOOOMMMMM, I DID SOMETHING….

And the second thing I have done is started introducing her to teen comedies, mostly from the glory days of the 80s. But some modern ones too. YES I KNOW THERE IS LANGUAGE AND INNUENDO SO SUE ME. I survived the 80s, why shouldn’t she? ALSO GOOD MUSIC.

HOWEVER. Continue reading

A Mess

A mess. We are it.

If you were to be around the House of Peevish for the last little while, you’d notice someone hobbling or groaning or vomiting or spending inordinate amounts of time in the bathroom. We’ve been in sad shape, it’s fair to say.

The good news is: we’re working on it. We are a work-in-progress. Continue reading

A Little Less Conversation

A little more action over here…

Yes, it has been a busy time at The House of Peevish, and so — perhaps you noticed? — I took a bit of a break from blablahblah-ing all over Teh Interwebs about it.

Now, part of it was that we went to Cuba. I know, I did briefly mention it, in the abstract. (And the concrete, with the moaning over shots and whatnot.) But I wasn’t all GUESS WHAT WE’RE GOING TO CUBA TOMORROW WOOHOO. Because it’s just good common sense to, you know, NOT advertise all over your blog that you’re going to be out of the country and not home and OHAI INTERNET STALKING BURGLARS WE’RE NOT HOME COME STEAL ALL OUR STUFF KTHXBAI.

So, you know, that happened.

Also, BDH was set to have surgery. And that meant that I’d be busy, not just with my regular running to and from therapies and swimming and karate and whatever with That Girl, and my usual work around the house (and not), but also taking care of BDH. So, before that date came along, there was rescheduling of all of life’s busy events and clearing a couple of weeks of the calendar to be available.

Except… it was supposed to be today. It got postponed at the 11th hour, yesterday afternoon, because the surgeon is sick.

So. Suddenly and without warning, LOOKIT ALL THE TIME I HAVE.

Okay, not really. But after several unusually busy and/or absent weeks… I find myself with some time to sit. And post.

SO. How have you been, Internet Peeps? Have you been well? Busy? That’s nice. Or not. I don’t know. Answer however you feel appropriate; you know we trust you.

I’ve been fine. But it has been a tiring, and in some ways tiresome, couple of weeks. So the break was a good one.

Anyway. Things have happened! You have missed things, O Internetfriends, oh yes you have!! (Okay, not really super duper exciting things, to be completely honest. But whatever. Shut up.) I have to tell you about:

  • my ridiculous 24 hours of blood pressure,
  • being in the middle of a tempers-approaching-critical angry mob situation in the airport in Cuba,
  • cancellation policies of ridiculous proportions,
  • Dudebros, both foreign and domestic,
  • killer moths, and
  • other tales of the ridiculous from life here in Peevishland.

But not now. Now, I must go pack a bag and then cart That Girl across town for swimming lessons.

Which, as you well know, could be another adventure. Stranger things have happened.

Don’t Say It. I Know.

I’ve been negligent in my posting duties. It’s already the 11th of March and I have yet to post something this month. WTF WHAT IS THAT I DON’T EVEN.

Well, it’s already been a busy month. Next week — March break!! — will be mercifully quiet, with just two therapy appointments and maybe a couple of play dates. O JOYFUL QUIET, O PEACE. Or so I hope.

So I will once again use the lame excuse We have been busy, and I will do so for the following reasons: Continue reading

Friday FAIL: Long Weekend Edition

Some random FAIL, for your Friday dining and dancing pleasure.

  • Not enough caffeine in the WORLD: Man, have I been tired this week. Like, arse-draggingly, mind-numbingly tired. My mind is foggy, like a pea-soup fog that not even the most earnest of efforts can penetrate to get to bits of information. I cannot concentrate, and I certainly cannot noun. Part of it is the increase in my physical activity. Part of it is my decrease in sleep, which is my own damn fault for staying up too late in some cases, and just lousy sleep in others. But in any case, I could drink more coffee than should be allowed by law, and it wouldn’t make a difference. Well, except I’d have to pee all the damn time. And I would probably fall asleep while doing so.
  • Dude, Where’s My Pants?: Because of my tiredness this week, and honestly, my chronic tiredness in general, That Girl and I have undertaken a Pants Check when we go out the door. Her job is to make sure I am suitably attired to leave the house. “Glasses?” “Check.” “Shoes?” “Check.” “Pants?” “Check.” Because it is important to be wearing pants when you leave, not just for me, but to spare the vision of the casual passerby. Once, when BDH was reaching epic levels of tired, he walked out to go to work in what he believed was a fully-dressed state, but in actuality he had forgotten to put on pants. In his case, boxer shorts were at least in place and protected his modesty. But in mine? I would not be so lucky. And neither would onlookers.
  • Grocery Wars, Episode 1: I am not good at grocery shopping. And by that, I mean, people in the grocery store turn me from a friendly, polite individual into an Enraged Being. If there is a version of Road Rage that pertains to shopping carts, then I have it. And it’s usually because I am dealing with old folks in the grocery store. It used to be that I knew what days and times the Oldsmobiles would descend upon the local store en masse to wander around aimlessly, leaving their carts all over the aisles and getting in everyone’s way. But in recent years, the pattern has disappeared, and it’s as though the Grey Grocery Ninjas can just appear without warning to mess with my day. Today, it was an elderly woman who would block various sections of the aisle with her cart while she faffed about with produce. Or the one who would just walk and park between me and my cart so I could neither get out of being pinned up against the tinned vegetables nor put anything into my cart. Or maybe it was the one who, ignoring me moving my cart in front of the dairy section to be able to get a bag of milk, WEDGED HERSELF BETWEEN MY CART AND THE DOOR OF THE DISPLAY CASE TO GET MILK HERSELF. And then took 5 MINUTES TO GET OUT A CARTON OF CHOCOLATE MILK. All I could do was stand there and boggle and her complete and utter lack of awareness of the world around her, or her unbelievable rudeness. I WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE! I just can’t even.
  • Grocery Wars, Episode 2: Today, I finished checking out at the grocery store and went to leave, and ended up following an elderly man. He was old, and fat, and leaning on his cart and walking EVER SO SLOWLY. Now, I know that when one gets old, it can take longer to get some things done. And I know that I will be old one day and will also probably take longer to get things done. And with this in mind, I do try to be pleasant and patient. But when you are old and fat, DO NOT EXACERBATE THE PROBLEM BY DAWDLING. This guy was just moseying along, reading newspaper headlines as he passed the news stand, stopping to smell the flowers in the flower shop, looking at wine on display… AND A QUEUE OF 4 CARTS WAS FOLLOWING BEHIND.  And there he was, completely oblivious. AND DAWDLING.  All the way through the store and to the doors. And then, for his dismount, he stopped IN THE DOORWAY WITH HIS CART while he fished for something in his pockets. If ever I disappear from this site for a significant time period, you can almost be sure it is because I have a) committed Grocery Store Cart Homicide or 2) had a massive stroke because of the epic frustration of going to the grocery store and Dealing With Elderly People.
  • Thanksgiving. You’re Doing It Wrong.: Thanksgiving is on Monday. I didn’t buy a turkey because a) expensive and 2) I can’t be arsed to cook a giant meal for the three of us. Instead, we’re going to Niagara Falls, NY tomorrow to watch our neighbour’s daughter play soccer. And probably to shop, I can’t lie. And eat out. Or all three of the above. And then we’re coming home and locking the door and, I hope, being lazy for the remainder of the weekend. (Okay, probably not that. There’s laundry to do.) And in case you’re worried that I am scarring my daughter for life with memories of a childhood full of unmarked and uncelebrated holidays: Don’t worry. I bought a cooked bbq chicken at the deli counter today. That’s basically a turkey, right?

Technical Difficulties. Please Stand By.

So, we’ve been doing lots of work around the house, yeah? And I have been wanting to tell you all about our BRAND NEW FAUX HARDWOOD LAMINATE FLOOR OMG.

We were careful to take lots of pictures of our floor-in-progress — pulling up the carpet, all the schmutz underneath said carpet, cutting the flooring, putting in the flooring, admiring the flooring — because we wanted a record of our work and our progress.

The problem is… most of the pics are on BDH’s new Crapberry phone device thingy. And for some reason, he’s having difficulty sending them to me. But when he does, I WILL POST OHYESIWILL.

Until then… enjoy this adorable picture of Duncan, today at lunchtime.

P1020486(SPOILER ALERT: That napping spot is in the room with the new flooring. You can even sort of see it there, underneath the cabinet. Kind of.)