So. I have made a couple fatal parenting FAILs in the past few weeks. QUELLE SURPRISE.
First, I have taught That Girl to “knit” using a little starter knitting loom. And by “taught” I mean “requires a good deal of assistance” in the creation of long tubes of yarnwork with many dropped stitches. Which means her knitting consists of much hollering of MOOOOOOMMMMM, I DID SOMETHING….
And the second thing I have done is started introducing her to teen comedies, mostly from the glory days of the 80s. But some modern ones too. YES I KNOW THERE IS LANGUAGE AND INNUENDO SO SUE ME. I survived the 80s, why shouldn’t she? ALSO GOOD MUSIC.
The errors of my parenting ways came home to haunt me yesterday. Behold, a skype conversation between myself and BDH yesterday evening:
CinnamonOpus: checking in
BigDamnHero: How are you
CinnamonOpus: I have created a monster
CinnamonOpus: A) knitting
BigDamnHero: Uh oh
CinnamonOpus: 2) WATCHING PITCH PERFECT OH MY GOD
CinnamonOpus: She’s watching it AGAIN and singing her heart out
CinnamonOpus: Soulful random sentences about BEING A TEAM and SINGING and WEATHER and SAYING THINGS….
CinnamonOpus: And now she vows to be a SINGING CHAMPION
BigDamnHero: Reed and I are laughing our asses off
CinnamonOpus: With some DANCING MOVES OH YEAH…
BigDamnHero: Uh oh
CinnamonOpus: UHHH OOOH, WHOOOOAAA YEAAAAAHHHHH
CinnamonOpus: <shrill trilling notes>
CinnamonOpus: So. Needless to say, not much has gotten done since about 4 pm.
CinnamonOpus: BECAUSE THE SINGING WHOOOA YEAAAAHHHH
CinnamonOpus: <dancing music notes emojis>
CinnamonOpus: And Duncan and his tail are all FUCK THIS I AM OUTTA HERE BECAUSE GETTING DANCED ON.
CinnamonOpus: OK so that is all the news that is the news.
CinnamonOpus: And now I will go fill soap dispensers to the tunelessness emanating from Our Future Singing Champion.
So. we watched Pitch Perfect a grand total of three times yesterday. THREE TIMES. IN A ROW. I mean, I think it’s a good movie, and the singing is great, and Rebel Wilson and Anna Kendrick are adorable and all, but. BUT.
THREE TIMES IN A ROW.
During the first viewing, she was enchanted, and was up and singing and doing awkward shuffling dance steps and waving her arms about and bellowing during the performance sequences.
During the second viewing, she was singing ALL THE TIME. I finally had to tell her to stop singing over the talking parts and just sing on the singing parts. But we couldn’t even hear the movie over the OH YEAAAAHHH I KNOOOOOWWW THE WEATHER IS SUUUNNNNYYY WHOA WHOOOOOAAA AND IIIIIIIIII LIIIIIKKKEEE ITTTTTTT random singing of words and notes that is That Girl emoting along to the movie.
Finally for the third viewing we were all MOM AND DAD WATCH THE MOVIE. STINKERBELLE SITS STILL AND SAYS NOTHING.
And this morning? She’s grabbed a MICROPHONE and is parked in front of Youtube right now. Dog help us when Pitch Perfect 2 comes out on iTunes.
It is going to be a LONG, NOISY, AND TUNELESS ROAD THROUGH ADOLESCENCE, I can feel it in my bones.
And it is my own damn fault. PARENT FAIL. AGAIN.