Don’t Say It. I Know.

I’ve been negligent in my posting duties. It’s already the 11th of March and I have yet to post something this month. WTF WHAT IS THAT I DON’T EVEN.

Well, it’s already been a busy month. Next week — March break!! — will be mercifully quiet, with just two therapy appointments and maybe a couple of play dates. O JOYFUL QUIET, O PEACE. Or so I hope.

So I will once again use the lame excuse We have been busy, and I will do so for the following reasons:

  • Murmur, murmur, murmur. So, you know, I’ve been working on improving my health, yes? Surely I have mentioned it. (HA. That was sarcasm.) I have high-normal-ish blood pressure, and have had for, like, 10 years. It hasn’t changed, and when I take it at home, it’s well within acceptable ranges. But when I go to the doctor, it’s all OMG DOCTOR STRESS PANIC WOE and it gets pretty elevated. “White coat syndrome” they call it, or somesuch. So, my doctor feels my high normal blood pressure is a problem, and booked me an appointment to see a Cardiovascular specialist to get an ambulatory blood pressure monitor. It takes your BP over the course of 24 hours so a definitive reading is obtained. Okay, cool. So. This appointment was booked, down at the hospital, well in advance (like, four months ahead or something ridiculous). And it was on this past Monday. So I arranged with BDH to pick That Girl up after school, and off I trooped down to the hospital. I went into this way busy and outdated office block where a lot of specialists and on-call doctors have their offices, and I checked in with the cardio guy. I waited for my appointment, thinking it’s going to be quick. They called me in, and I figured it was a matter of fitting the device, basic instructions, and gone. But no. Suddenly, the nurse was all GET YER KIT OFF, WE’RE DOING AN ECG. So she stuck all these monitor-y things on me, and clamped wires to them, and was all SHHHH and the machine was buzzing and beeping and then done. And she asked me all kinds of health history, all this family history stuff, have I had any operations NO NOT EVEN ONE? NOT EVEN TONSILS? And I was all confused because WHY WHYYYY ALL I WANT IS A BP MONITOR. So then the doctor came in and listened to my heartbeat, like, A LOT. And then HE started with all the questions and I’m all BUT I’M JUST HERE FOR A BP MONITOR. He looked confused. So, he said, “Oh. Well, on your referral, there was nothing checked off. (Like, didn’t you guys think to call and ask about that? But whatevs. ~ Ed.) We can do that for you. But did you know, you have a heart murmur?”  At which point, I was a bit, you know, BOGGLED. So he said he was going to bring me back soonish for an echocardiogram, and then will do the BP monitor then. And I agreed, but my head was still going HEART MURMUR, HUH? Now, I know that these things are usually nothing. But let me just say, when a patient is looking for reassurance and asks a doctor if they should be concerned, “We’ll see once we get the results of the echo” IS NOT A COMFORTING RESPONSE. So I’m back to get echo-ed in two weeks. Sheesh.
  • If you want the life of luxury, you have to suffer a little pain. I don’t think I have mentioned that we are off to Cuba for a holiday this spring. This is the first holiday — actual HOLIDAY, not visiting family or tagging along on a work trip or going to a volleyball tournament — that BDH and I have had in EIGHTEEN YEARS. (We didn’t even really have a honeymoon, we just went to the cottage for a couple days where BDH promptly got sick all week.) But with international travel comes preventative medicine. So, we all went down to the local travel clinic to get updated on whatever meds and whatnot we’d need for a safe and disease-free holiday. We got a bunch of shots and meds to go to Ethiopia in 2008, so we were mostly covered. But as it turned out, for this upcoming holiday, I needed a tetanus booster, and That Girl needed a hepatitis vaccine. Now, AS YOU WELL KNOW, That Girl is six, almost seven. And thus, being six, almost seven, getting any sort of medical intervention whatsoever now comes with the requisite visit from the OMG DRAMA LLAMA. Just the mere mention of the needle in the nurse’s office brought on floods of tears. The actual needle was fraught with wails and moans and blubbing. (DO NOT TELL HER SHE HAS TO GET A FOLLOW UP IN 6 MONTHS. JUST DON’T.) I had even gotten my booster first, just to show her it’s nothing to be scared of, but she was having none of it. OH NO. So then, because he hadn’t had one yet this season, BDH got a flu shot VOLUNTARILY, just to show his solidarity. Still That Girl wailed and blubbled. Eventually, a lollipop was procured, and there was peace in our time. But I have to say, we all had sore shoulders for the weekend. I tell you truly, if Cuba isn’t all seashells and rainbows and water slides and magic, That Girl is going to be PISSED.
  • Therapy: therapeutic for some, early for others, expensive for all. After a brief hiatus, we’re back into Speech Therapy now. So that makes four: OT, speech, oral motor, and binocular vision therapy. Our speech therapist is way busy, and since we gave up our prime afterschool spot in the fall to begin OMT, we had to fit into her schedule. Which means 8:30 IN THE BLESSED AM. Now, I am no morning person. And That Girl is the Queen of the Dawdlers, especially where meals are concerned (hence the OMT). So getting her up and out the door and into an office for 8:30 takes some doing, and takes ME a whole lot of coffee. And, in two weeks, we kick off the vision therapy in earnest, which will also cost us quite a bit. But at least it happens after 9 o’clock.
  • Can we book everything at the same time please KTHXBAI. So, I mentioned I have to get an Echo exam in two weeks, yes? And That Girl begins vision therapy, bright and early the following morning (which was booked at the same time as a speech appointment, which I had to reschedule). Well, while I’m at vision therapy with her, BDH is going to be at his internist, because the following week, he is going to be at the hospital, doing his pre-op check in for gallbladder surgery! OH JOY! Which will happen in April. ON THE SAME DAY THAT STINKERBELLE HAS ANOTHER VISUAL PROCESSING APPOINTMENT. (Which was also a speech day, until I was all I CAN’T EVEN.) All these specialists are booked solid and well in advance, so you pretty much take what you can get. Pffff… It makes taking That Girl to the dentist this morning, and then off to school, an absolute doddle.

One thought on “Don’t Say It. I Know.

  1. I hear you. I wish I could help out but as you know it is a bit far to travel to help out.
    Dad is still going to Halifax for appointments one last week and another this week. I AM SURE THE WEATHER GODS ARE ALL LINED UP FOR HIS TRAVEL DAYS.
    We have had to cancel many of them and of course they are all coming up again and so are the storms. Wednesdays seem to be the big day this year for storms but we have a bonus this week and get one on Sunday as well.
    Hope all goes well. Let us know.

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