I had a brief discussion with an online acquaintance on Twitter the other day about fall. Specifically, how every year I get all pissed off about the oncoming cold and damp and generally autumn-like weather that occurs, despite the fact that IT HAPPENS EVERY YEAR.
I am always, ALWAYS annoyed and irritated by the chill in the air that causes me to pull out sweaters and slippers. Which is ridiculous, because OHAI WELCOME TO OCTOBER IN CANADA KTHXBAI.
Am I in denial? Or simply an idiot?
Don’t answer that.
Funny thing is, though… autumn is really, honestly, my favourite season. Mostly. I love the leaves changing colour — provided it’s not too soon, like seeing some trees starting to change in August which makes me all RAGEFACE — and if it’s not a rainy fall, then I welcome the cooling temperatures too. The rain I can do without, at least until November, and if it’s dry and cool I love to get out and go for walks.
The air is crisp, the breeze is clean, the sky is usually at its bluest and the sun can be glorious.
There’s a tree right outside my window, which I can see whenever I am at the computer, and I love the changes from green to gold to red. I take pictures of it some years. And yet? I still find myself indignant and fussing about the whole cold-enough-to-put-on-a-sweater-in-the-house-where-are-my-slippers thing.
Seriously. It’s not like I can’t see it coming.
Partly, I believe, it has to do with where I live. Here in the centre of southern Ontario, we get a bit of weather whiplash in the early fall. September can still be hot and, like this year, pretty humid. It is quite summer-like a lot of times. But then it can also suddenly change to cold and damp overnight. So, I think I have a hard time wrapping my head around sweating one day and then shivering the next.
Mostly though… I have issues with winter. As in, I hate it. HAAAAATE. I hate it like a hated thing that is really, really hated. Always have, always will. So much of my indignant attitude and peevishness comes from the fact that, hard on the heels of cool fall days and dropping temperatures comes OMG THE HELL THAT IS WINTER.
I’m not a fan.
I’m full of irrational resentment. It’s not like winter comes sometimes, once in awhile. OH NO. It’s here EVERY YEAR. And every year, I am peevish about it. I am not a winter sports person. When I was a child, I retreated to the warmth of the gym and indoor sports when the cool weather approached and I never looked back. I shovel because it’s good exercise, and I get a little bit of zen about a workout AND a job well done. Skiing vacations sound awesome, but only because I can sit by the fire with warm beverages and knit while others go out and do the skiing. (Well, cross country might be alright, because it’s usually sheltered in the woods somewhere and there’s little risk of breaking my everything falling down a hill while freezing to death.)
WINTER. DO NOT WANT.
So I get preemptively annoyed at the cold and breezes of fall, because I know what is coming.
This year, I am okay with the cooler temperatures while walking That Girl to school, because it hasn’t been too bad. But the rain has started early, and the damp is creeping in, and kicking through the leaves isn’t the fun it usually is, but rather messy and wet. So I alternate between “Oh, lovely” and ‘WHAT IS THIS I DON’T EVEN”.
I know it’s nuts. I know it. I should just take a deep breath and go with it, yes? I should plan to enjoy the fall, the beauty and the colours, the crisp temperatures, and the baking and cooking that inevitably comes and brings comfort once the weather begins to chill. I should stop complaining and dreading the winter, and seize the glorious fall day.
But I am Canadian, and it is in my DNA to complain, if not heartily then at least regularly, about the weather. And it rained like a mother last night, and so with the damp, all I want to do is seize a huge hoodie, a mug of tea, and complain.