FAIL Friday: Winter Olympic Edition

The week has gotten away from me. AGAIN. Crazy busy, right? Well, yes, there’s been appointments and work. And kid. And also OLYMPICS.

So come, sit and warm yourself beside the burning of my last shreds of success and dignity.

  • Moral Fortitude FAIL: Yes, I said I wasn’t going to watch, I was going to be all NO WAY PUTIN YOU BASTARD I AM BOYCOTTING YOU AND YOUR HATEFUL POLICIES OHYESIAM. But then it was Bobsleigh and I love me some sleighing of bobs. And then it was OMG SO MANY GOLD MEDALS CAN’T GET ENOUGH OLYMPICS WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. So, if you are following on your scorecards at home, the current score is:

Rampant Canadian Flagwaving 9
Me and My Pathetically Weak Moral Outrage 0

  • #WeAreWinter FAIL: And also, while I’m showing off my failings? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS WINTER SHIT. Seriously. I know, all over Teh Tweeters right now, Canadians are all WE ARE WINTER hashtagging. But I am not winter. I am SO NOT WINTER. Case in point? This week. Snowdrifts above my head, and then TWO SUCKTACULAR DAYS OF RAIN. I was, as you can imagine, unimpressed LIKE WHOA. I slogged through inches deep slush and water to take That Girl to school this morning. That Girl who, by the by, spent the entire walk splashing and/or dragging her feet to create tidal waves of slushy water which then rushed up over her boot tops and into her boots so that when she got to school her socks were wet enough to wring out and her snow pants were soaked to the hips. And then I came home again and poured the water out of my own winter boots. AND I GET TO DO IT ALL AGAIN THIS AFTERNOON WOOOO.
  • Intermediate-Level Five-Year-Old Parenting FAIL: All that nonsense about Stinkerbelle’s boots being full of water? It’s not like I didn’t tell her A HUNDRED TIMES all the way to school to stop splashing and stop dragging her feet and blah blah blah. It’s just that, in recent weeks, there are times where I think she’s just decided I don’t exist. OHAI RANDOM PERSON TALKING AT ME I DON’T LISTENING ANYMORE. Yesterday, walking home from school, I asked her questions — “Did you play outside at recess?” “How was music class today?” Nothing too taxing — but instead of answering me, she just walked away. Walked ahead of me like she was walking home alone. And at home, I tell her to do X, and she puts me on ignore. I tell her no, she can’t do whatever, and she does it anyway… until Dad tells her, AND tells her off for ignoring me. And then, because she is a Five Year Old Drama Llama, she starts CRYING. So that’s been fun.
  • Health and Fitness FAIL: Okay, so. At the beginning of February, after 10 years of having a doctor in name only because Holy Incompetent MD of Record, Batman… I finally got me a new family doctor! Thanks to the Ontario government program that helps people find doctors, I got into a practice on the outskirts of town. So I met them, and that was good. And the doctor I met with said I was not too far behind on medical stuff, but we would get things sorted. Huzzah. And to start with, he said we’d do a blood pressure check and then start booking appointments for other stuff. Okay, says I, who has a family history of high blood pressure, and a mom who died of a brain hemmorhage after years of stroking out, and even learning myself 10 years ago that I was borderline HBP… Let’s do this! So I sit down and OMG WTELF 180/110. So, basically, I’m stroking out right there in the chair OMG WHY AM I NOT DEAD YET. (Bearing in mind I have “white coat syndrome”, plus I had two extra large coffees before setting out that morning. But STILL.) So, combine this BP measurement with my Fat Liver, and I go home with a renewed sense of purpose to Get Fit and Lose Weight and Be Healthy. And then I promptly catch the cold my kid had for days previously, which — because I am a poorly-medicated asthmatic — then settled into my chest and I have been sick and/or coughing my brains out ever since. So that’s been fun. And thus my plans of Shiny New Health have gone RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW (and into a snowbank, probably.) Too sick to exercise, and feeling to crappy to care. But at least I have been trying to eat better, since I am now doing the Green Smoothies for lunch every day. And as I am also a bit paranoid about my blood pressure, I’ve been taking my BP every morning (mostly). And, as it’s gone back to the near-normal-ish borderline BP I was expecting, every morning I turn to BDH and announce “HEY GUESS WHAT NOT DEAD YET.” So that’s nice.