Home Truths

There’s something about spending the day volunteering in a kindergarten classroom that makes you realize quite a few things about yourself.

  • I am not meant to be a teacher of smallish children.
  • I am, in fact, not terribly fond of other people’s smallish children.
  • I have great respect for people who are meant to teach small children, so that I don’t have to.
  • I consider us incredibly lucky to have our daughter being taught by the teacher and ECE she has now, and not by the other kindergarten teachers she could have been assigned.
  • One of the other kindergarten teachers has a face like a smacked arse, and treats me with a surprising amount of contempt, for a total stranger and parent to a child at her school. Which is okay, because I kind of hate her a lot too.
  • The world is lucky that I was not fated to parent a small boy, and in particular, a small willful boy.
  • Spending an hour running a playdoh table full of small willful boys while Christmas music plays in the background is my idea of the very depths of the deepest pit of hell.
  • I feel compelled to intervene when small willful boys are flailing about with knives, forks, and scissors dangerously close to the faces of other small willful boys.
  • I gather that the idea of someone intervening when small willful boys are flailing about with knives, forks, and scissors dangerously close to the faces of other small willful boys is a completely surprising and foreign concept to said small willful boys. Or, most probably, their parents.
  • Mean girls start from a very, very young age.
  • I fear I will be dealing with the fallout of mean girls for the remainder of my daughter’s school years.
  • We are incredibly lucky that we have the easygoing, pleasant child that we do.
  • We are very strict with our daughter, and expect her to be a polite, pleasant and productive member of society. Having met a goodly number of children this morning who seem not to be so, I am glad we are as strict as we are.
  • Although you can take a group of 80 or so children and divide them equally into groups of 3, once you put one of those groups of children into a confined space together, they multiply.
  • These groups of children multiply like a virus or a plague where playdoh is concerned.
  • I should probably have clarified the timeframe of my volunteering today, instead of agreeing without knowing how long I would be captive for.
  • I probably should not volunteer very often to work with with smallish children who are not my own. I’m thinking maybe not ever.

One thought on “Home Truths

  1. I started laughing until I entered an uncontrollable coughing fit when I got to “small, willful boy.” And yes, children in large quantities are an ENTIRELY different matter from children in small manageable numbers. (Like two.)

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