Where Mail Goes To Die

So, it’s May 1. So that makes last Sunday… what, April 29th maybe? Yeah, the 29th.

And my daughter’s birthday is on the 11th. So, let’s say the end of that week was the 14th. Or thereabouts.

So, my dear Internets peeps, tell me… HOW IS IT THAT I DID NOT CHECK MAIL FOR THE TWO WHOLE WEEKS IN-BETWEEN???

Lordamercy, you should have SEEN our little mail slot when I went up to check it on Sunday night. And that was only because my dear SIL Sherri happened to mention that she was wondering if a present for Stinkerbelle had arrived.

SCUSE ME PLEASE A WHAT? LET ME JUST RUN TO THE MAILBOX AND SEE.

Sheesh. Talk about your Adult FAIL. So I opened the mailbox to see it jam packed stuffed with… well, mail, actually. Not surprisingly.

In that stack of mail, we had the following:

  • a lovely birthday/late Xmas gift from Stinkerbelle’s Auntie Sherri and family — photos of which I will post because OMG SO WONDERFUL
  • a lovely birthday gift from Stinkerbelle’s honourary Spanish auntie, Carmen, and her beautiful daughter — photos of which I will post because SO CUTE
  • bills
  • cheques
  • bank statements
  • financial statements
  • a notice for Lucy to go to the vet
  • a notice for Duncan to go to the vet
  • a notice for someone else’s cat who lives on an entirely different street to go to the vet
  • a priority post parcel for someone who does not live here
  • a garden centre flyer for someone else who does not live here
  • more fast food and home reno coupons and offers than should be allowed by law
  • offers YOU JUST CAN’T REFUSE from credit card companies, cable companies, eye surgeries, dentistries, weight loss clinics, and someone who feels we need orthotics.

There was more, except I was beginning to lose interest.

Seriously. How do we get that much mail in two weeks? And how do we get mail for other people? One piece, maybe, but three? And one of them priority post?

I used to think it was just our postal outlet that screwed up the mail. Ask a few people who I have gotten parcels from and/or sent out things to in the past, that just DISAPPEARED into thin air. I thought it was the Postal Twilight Zone.

Now, I am beginning to think it’s our mail box. It’s like a BLACK HOLE OF MAIL, sucking unsuspecting stray mail into our little postal box, NEVER TO ESCAPE.

(See how I deflected from my own OMG ADULT CHECKING THE MAIL FAIL to putting all the blame on the Post Office? You can tell I have done this before.)

And the worst part is now I will never know if John Smith’s cat Fluffums gets his flea treatment and shots on time. Or what was in the parcel from K Jones to L Jones. (They must be related. You’d think family would at least know your address. OH NO THERE I GO DEFLECTING AGAIN.)

4 thoughts on “Where Mail Goes To Die

  1. Canada Post has a place that mail goes to die. Or maybe they just get tesser’ed to another realm?

  2. *these* are the posts that I love most….they crack me right up on the days when one would think I’m cracked enough already, but when really I need all the cracking up I can get 🙂

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