Another week full of FAIL. At least it’s not all mine.
- Rescheduling FAIL: My daughter loves sleeping, almost as much as I do. She generally will very happily nap, even though she’s four, and sleeps without fuss most nights from 8-ish until 7:15 or 7:30 next morning. But when I say she sleeps from around 8 pm, what I really mean is “goes to bed and then faffs about for another hour and a half”. She stays in bed, she stays relatively quiet… but she doesn’t fall asleep. So we decided that probably, although she loves them, she’s done with napping. And she doesn’t mind that either, because if there’s one thing better than sleeping? It’s BEING AWAKE. The problem is that, although the new sleep schedule works for her, it doesn’t necessary work for me. I need those two hours in the day to get some work done, or else I will be “on” from 7 in the morning until I go to bed and have very little free time to myself. So we instituted “quiet time”, which happens in one of two ways. If I don’t have to work, she can lie on the sofa with a blanket and a fuzzy friend or two and watch a movie. QUIETLY. NO TALKING. And if I need to work, she goes into her room and sits and reads on her bed, or plays quietly with her toys. She loves that too. So everyone’s happy, right? Right. Except, on the quiet reading time days… SHE FALLS ASLEEP WHILE READING. So much for changing her schedule, right? And I don’t want to go in there and wake her up only to say BUT YOU STILL HAVE TO STAY HERE AND NO TALKING ITS QUIET TIME. So I just let her sleep if she dozes off. And that totally hoses bedtime. But at least I am getting some work done.
- Corporate Planning FAIL: Okay, this one’s not me. Well, not ALL me. Our local grocery store has decided, for reasons we cannot fathom, to remodel. All the insides are being moved around and reorganized and revamped and changed. It’s a little grocery store, but it’s very busy. And the remodel is causing all sorts of chaos. What it means is that about 40 parking spaces are taken up with either truck trailers full of equipment and building supplies, or because it is nearly may, the store’s seasonal Garden Centre — so the parking lot has turned from mildly busy to INSANEWORLD. Then, the inside of the store is all over the place, which means when shopping, stuff you are used to seeing and buying is now gone because space is limited, or stocked somewhere else and you can’t find it. So you can’t buy the things you have been buying on a weekly basis for six months now (chicken spring rolls) and the things you can buy are sometimes expired (like yogurt I bought today which expired last week — whoops — or sour cream I put back but did not buy because it expired APRIL 10.) And then, the big showstopper for me, is that now you have a store inexplicably packed full of Senior Citizens, wandering about having no clue as to where to find anything, being foul tempered and blocking all the aisles and taking up the time of EVERY STAFF PERSON THEY CAN FIND to complain and/or ask where to find the pickled beets and Polident. I think what happens is that they just get in there and they can’t find anything so they just mill around and around the store endlessly, complaining all the while. THEY CAN NEVER LEAVE OMG IT IS THE SENIOR CITIZEN BLACK HOLE. And my fail? IS THAT I CONTINUE TO SHOP THERE DURING THIS MESS.
- Sentimentality FAIL: So, my daughter’s preschool does a lot of great things for the kids. They have fundraisers and school trips and the like. And this week, they’re taking orders for yearbooks. Now, I have a problem with this. I mean, these kids are 4 and younger. It’s not like this has been a time they will remember always. Some won’t remember ANY of it. And these are not generally going to be lasting friendships of the OMG DO YOU REMEMBER THAT TIME WHEN WE WERE THREE AND WE BOTH PEED OUR PANTS IN CLASS ON THE SAME DAY? GOOD TIMES variety. So, I kind of have a hard time dishing out $18 for a yearbook. Of PRESCHOOL. Now, let me just give you are refresher on who I am. I am:
a) an antisocial bastard, and
I mean, I didn’t form any lasting friendships in my youth. I have kept in touch with NOT ONE PERSON beyond high school or university. So when they said “preschool yearbook” I was all OMG YOU MUST BE KIDDING. But then, we have BDH, who DID maintain relationships with friends he met, you know, IN UTERO, and likes everybody and everybody likes him, and he’s all sentimental about this stuff. His university had yearbooks, for the love of dog. So he’s all HELL YES WE’RE BUYING ONE. So we are. I just fear it’s going to be one of those things we find in a box in 30 years time and then chuck out on a spring cleaning day when That Girl is off on her own being a translator at the UN or a helicopter pilot or a Walmart Greeter or whatever.
- Responsible Adult FAIL: Yesterday, I went to work, and didn’t pack a lunch. But I needed change to pay That Girl’s day care, so I went to a grocery store on the way to pick her up. (A nice grocery store, not the chaos that is currently Our Neighbourhood Grocery Store.) And, in among the produce aisles and the deli counter and what have you, I bought A BAG OF BUGLES. And that was my lunch. And part of Stinkerbelle’s lunch, too, considering that without the eating support we give her at mealtimes she’s unlikely to eat anything for lunch when she’s not at home. That is what we ate on the ride home. And then, for supper? TAKEOUT CHEESEBURGERS AND FRIES. That crackling noise you heard around 7 pm yesterday evening? WAS MY ARTERIES HARDENING.