Moats and Drawbridges

My daughter got invited to attend her first actual birthday party on the weekend. By a friend from school. Who is a BOY.

Two weeks ago, I got a call from the mom of one of Stinkerbelle’s classmates, who wanted to invite her to his birthday party. There would be three other little boys plus Stinkerbelle at the party. When I told BDH about the invitation from a boy, he was surprised. So I asked him what he was going to do. He replied: “What any reasonable man would do. I’m calling a building contractor and installing a dungeon. . .and a moat. A BIIIIIIG moat.”

(Okay, he totally didn’t react that way. I just made that up just then. But it’s a line from Sports Night that we like to throw around any time Stinkerbelle and “boys” are used in the same sentence. So I thought I’d use it here, too.)

We were actually really pleased that Stinkerbelle was invited to a party. We were thrilled that she has found friends in her little school, and this little fellow is one of her Bestest Peeps Evah. She talks about him all the time, and he about her, so we were also quite chuffed that his parents were okay with inviting her as well. Sometimes it’s weird for some parents, I think, to try to accommodate one of the opposite sex in a room full of what they are familiar with. But his mom was making it a very low-key “party” in that there were just a few kids invited and it was in the morning, for a couple of hours of play and a pizza and cupcake lunch, so it would be no problem.

So, last week, Stinkerbelle and I trooped to the mall to buy a birthday card and present and wrapping for the birthday boy. She was VERY excited to go to his house and play.

And when she arrived, we watched as she dove in with the cars and the action figures and the floor hockey with the boys. There was even a bouncy castle in the basement that they could play on (with no one cracking heads together, thankfully). And the boys included her in everything and fired floor hockey balls at her and were generally pleased that she had come to play.

It was nice. I was a tomboy as a kid, and never really got the whole “girly” thing. I was always more comfortable with the boys, and got along better with them, and was in sports so, yanno. So I kind of “get” that.

But Stinkerbelle is not sure what side she comes down on, whether she’s about the sports and the boys or the princesses and the girls. And that’s fine. She might love to jump and kick a ball and will choose a Buzz Lightyear bandaid over a Disney Princess one, but she still loves to dance and wear swirly dresses and play with dollies and look at her pretty hair in the mirror. She has lots of time to decide.

Anyway, she had a lovely time and was sad to leave. When the time came to go, the birthday boy’s mom gave her a special treat bag with a pink ball and some princess dolls — including a brown one, which instantly endeared them to us for being so thoughtful. And when she got home, at naptime, she would not take off her special ladybug birthday hat (all the boys got dinosaurs, which she would have been equally happy with.)

It was a great time for all, I think. Stinkerbelle was so happy to go have playtime with her friends, and we were so pleased to meet and chat with some of the other parents. And while the best part for Stinkerbelle was, I think, the bouncy castle, the best part for us was to know that our daughter has made some friends. It’s all most parents want in life, really — for their child to be happy and comfortable with and loved by those around him or her.

So while we joke about having to build a moat to keep out all the boys as Stinkerbelle gets older — and we may still, if she continues winning over all the boys as she does — we’ll also have to consider building a drawbridge to let in all the friends she seems to be making as she laughs and charms her way though life. I hope so. I’d like that.

We can always pull the drawbridge up by the time she’s a teenager, right?

2 thoughts on “Moats and Drawbridges

  1. sounds like one fun party! I admit that as a grade A overthinker, I never know whether to make a different goody bag or the same goody bag for the lone girl. I usually make the same one because as a kid I would have been pissed with lip gloss if everyone else got a bouncy ball, you know? But sounds like That Girl has a foot firmly in both camps and would be happy either way!

  2. That sounds like a great party, and how sweet of them to do a special loot bag just for her. I miss loot bags – they were the best!

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