Today I went to the dentist. It was nice.
Not that I enjoy going to the dentist, mind you. Although sometimes I can get freaked out when I know the probe-under-the-gums thing is happening and I dread it for days, most of the time it’s just a cleaning and I can relax and treat it like a massage. I even almost nod off sometimes. Today was one of those days.
But also, now that we have a good routine and BDH handles the school run when I need to go to an appointment, it’s a little time to myself. And, more and more, BDH and I both are finding that we are starting to reclaim some of our “me time”.
Although we miss the babyhood years and do not regret them for a moment, the fact that Stinkerbelle is growing older and more independent does have some benefits. The routine of school has certainly lent itself to me getting to see the dentist regularly, as well as providing a regularly scheduled time for me to do some work.
Also, now that That Girl is growing more independent, having to take time in the evening to go to the doctor or for BDH to go to soccer or for me to go for a hair appointment is not the challenge it used to be, when Stinkerbelle was more needy and more reliant on us, or as she grew and would cry with separation anxiety when one of us left. Now, we are able to explain what we are doing and why we are leaving, and the tears only happen when she is tired or hungry (or, sometimes, has missed time with BDH during a busy week).
The next step is for BDH and I to have a date night. It has been three and a half years since we have had a night out alone together. (I always laugh to myself when I meet new parents who are complaining about not getting out for SO LONG OMG IT’S BEEN THREE MONTHS. Please. Try three YEARS.) Part of that is because we have no support system here, family or friends, to step in and babysit. Part of it has been because, with her issues and delays, we were unsure that the regular old neighbourhood teen babysitter would be a good fit for Stinkerbelle’s challenges, or that she would be able to understand fully what was going on. So family or friends would have been a better fit to babysit, if we had had them.
A large part of it is because we are homebodies, readily entertained here at home with computers and hobbies and videos and INTERNETS FOREVER.
But part of it is, we waited for so long to have this child in our lives, we just enjoy doing things WITH her. We go as a family to restaurants or out to places or events or to visit friends. We didn’t do a lot of things then that we can’t enjoy now as a family.
Except going out to a movie. We miss going to movies. We were big movie people, way back when. And it has been almost four years since we’ve been to the theatre, so we’re kind of looking forward to doing that again.
Way back when, before Stinkerbelle was a glimmer in anyone’s eye, before we were waiting to adopt, before all hopes of infertility treatment had failed, I made a promise: that if ever we were blessed to have a child, just one child, I would not complain. About anything. I would be grateful for the good providence that brought that child to us, and enjoy every moment, and let the tough stuff just roll off. I would take whatever came and remember that it is all good fortune, because so many people I know will never be able to experience ANY of it, the joys and the challenges, of parenthood. And for a long time, we believed we would be those people. So I would not complain about anything.
I think I have done pretty well, all things considered. But if I am totally honest, we have had precious little to complain about. We were totally ready to bring a child into our lives, and went in with our eyes completely open and prepared, some would say over-prepared, for whatever that child would bring us. And looking back, we were so unbelievably lucky to be united with such a wonderfully laid-back, funny, easygoing child. We didn’t have a lot of the challenges that a lot of adoptive parents do. We were incredibly fortunate, and blessed beyond our wildest dreams.
So, three and a half years passed pretty enjoyably, really. Not complaining has been mostly a non-issue.
And now it occurs to us, three and a half years later, that maybe it might be time to go out on a date again.
Stinkerbelle is independent enough now that, after she gets comfortable with a babysitter, she probably won’t notice much that we’re out for a few hours, and sociable enough that she will be chuffed to just have somebody NEW to play with. So… maybe dinner AND a movie. And we have a night out planned with Janna and Andrew in March that will be a real big time out for us.
But even once we get set on a sitter and her comfortable with us, I don’t think it will change things all that much, homebodies that we are. It’ll give us a little more flexibility, and we can take more opportunities to go out and do stuff that we didn’t before, like movies and Christmas parties and such. Maybe we’ll get out and JOIN groups and PLAN stuff and DO things, As People Do.
Or not. We’ll probably still have most of our fun at home with each other. (And some knitting. And THE INTERNETS.)
We’re enjoying this time that will pass so quickly with our daughter, so we’re still not prepared to miss TOO much of that. And we’d miss her, that kid we waited so long for, and the fun she brings to our life together.
But the siren song of the cinema IS calling to us. With a giant bag of popcorn. With REAL BUTTER OMG YES. And not having to do The Potty Tour of every bathroom within a mile’s radius of where we’re sitting. That might be nice.