Here, Take This.

There are times, man. Times where I just don’t want to know anymore. If I could just crawl back under the covers and bury my head and not come out for awhile, I would.

I’m talking about news. Everywhere you look these days, there is NEWS. And it is BAD.

War. Violent crime. Political corruption. Famine. People being assholes to one another. The Penn State scandal. That Duggar woman who thinks that a vagina is a clown car.

It’s not good. None of it.

BDH tells me STOP READING THE NEWS, FOR THE LOVE OF DOG WHY DO YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME. Because I read this stuff? And then it makes me NUTS. And I get all worked up, or agitated, or angry, or cry, or all of the above. And then he has to sit there and be patient and kind while resisting the overwhelming urge say I TOLD YOU SO.

I could take this opportunity to be all deep and shit and discuss these issues, but I WILL NOT. Because no good will come of it, and besides, who cares about what I have to say anyway. Plus I am not deep and I mostly don’t know a lot ABOUT said issues, so there is that.

But if you are planning on spending time on the internet these days, particularly where THERE MIGHT BE NEWS, let me offer you this advice:

WAIT. IT’S DANGEROUS TO GO ALONE. HERE, TAKE THIS.

There. Don’t you feel much better now? I know I do.

So I have to STOP READING THE NEWS. And stop reading ANYTHING THAT IS TALKING ABOUT ANYTHING THAT IS NEWS.

Instead, I need to walk away. I need to spend time with my kid who keeps insisting NOW, LUNCH… THEN… WE HAVE CHRISTMAS TOGETHER! Because all she wants to do in life these days is dig into our boxes of Christmas decorations and look at all the pretty things and have a happy time.

And I think that sounds grand. I need to be festive and happy and pretend the outside world isn’t happening for a few hours or days or weeks.

Yesterday we put our lights on the house. Last night I found some recipes I’ve been looking for. Maybe today we’ll sort through our decorations and make the place look FESTIVER. And I’ll avoid the news for awhile.

IT’S NOT SAFE TO GO ON THE INTERWEBS ALONE! Good thing I have That Girl.

And as a bonus, That Girl will wear the Santa hat. Because unlike the Festive Safety Kitty above, I know none of our cats will do it.