Aug
31
I know this is probably going to cost me the Perfect Mom of the Year award, but… My kid spends time with the TVSitter.
I know. It’s not good.
If I am perfectly honest, I’d say my kid watches too much TV. I’d love it if she were out running around all day. I’d be so happy if she was making things out of PlayDoh, or colouring, or reading. I’d love it if she were doing crafts.
But I’m not that mom. It’s just not who I am. I can’t micromanage and direct her activities that much, and honestly, at three, she has the attention span of a soap dish. And I have things I have to get done in the course of a day. It’s just the way it goes. I have to chop onions, or unload the dishwasher, or sweep. I have to throw stuff in the laundry.
And sometimes? I just want a little time to connect to the outside adult world via the Internet. Truth be told, I spend a lot of time alone with a three year old. Some days, on soccer days, the only meaningful adult conversation I get is with the checkout people at the supermarket, or via the interwebs and email. So sue me.
I’m finding it’s just an easy out, sometimes, when I have something to do that requires my time and concentration, to plonk my kid in front of a DVD for awhile. She’s three, and she’s at that stage where she wants somebody to play with and interact with and whatnot. But I find that sometimes, I just can’t be that person.
The Wiggles can. She sings along, and dances, and does whatever moves they do. Same thing with Sesame Street. And a couple other educational TV videos. She’s learning and moving and dancing and counting. And it’s not like she watches commercials or daytime TV or endless Dora crap or anything — we have a limited number of things for her to watch, thanks to DVD, Netflix and no cable.
(Okay. I’ll confess she watches Top Gear with us. WHAT SHUDDUP YOU DON’T KNOW OUR LOVE OF THE HAMSTER AND CAPTAIN SLOW. Okay, and Mythbusters too. WHAT? IT’S KIND OF SCIENCE-ISH.)
And, because of her oral-motor issues, our OT recommended watching something during mealtime, to distract her from the textures and fear of what is in her mouth. A piece of toast used to take an hour and a half. This morning? 40 minutes. That is progress. So until we get over the issues, we do what it takes.
But we DO get out. Our schedules are fairly busy, with swimming lessons and gym classes and our regular errands and going to the sitter. And, in a couple of weeks, school is in the mix. And we go for walks, and go for play dates, and go to the park, and swim, and play in the yard…
And yet? It’s the TV time she has that gives me the endless Mommy Guilt. I cannot help but think I am Harming My Child by letting her watch TV. It’s what the books say. It’s what the interwebs tell you. Good Moms are ENGAGED and CRAFTY and ORGANIC and GREEN and GRANOLA. And I am so not.
Oh well. That Girl is healthy, and happy, and thriving. And as she gets older, she’ll get busier and more independent. And it’ll be less of an issue. I hope.
Besides, I was raised by a TVSitter. I was a latchkey kid who grew up during the golden age of TV comedy, and saw world events unfold on the nightly news. And look at me! I have an encyclopaedic knowledge of useless trivia, a love of good quality television, and can recite most of the first 4 seasons of M*A*S*H dialogue by heart. I owe much of my love of music to The New Music. I learned about atoms from Venus Flytrap. I’m only just SLIGHTLY deranged.
She’ll be fine.
I’ve been following your blog for a while now. One thing I know FOR SURE is that you Love Love Love that baby girl of yours!!! When she’s all growed up and out on her own, she won’t be thinking about watching tv as a child, she’ll be thinking about how much her mama loves her and loved on her as a child. Allison
@Allison — Thank you so much! And welcome!
You are a Good Mom. (I know you’re not looking for validation, or fishing for compliments, because that is *so* not you.) The Mommy Guilt is frequently a sign of the goodness of the Mommy.
I watched *a lot* of TV as a kid, too. Only educational shows were allowed until I was about 9. And golf. Every. Stinking. Sunday. My trivia knowledge isn’t as good as yours, but the Venus Flytrap (a.k.a. Gordon Simms) atom description? Please. I used it when I was teaching. And also last week, to explain a joke to my daughter.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, you turned out fine. My oldest (who has watched some TV too) seems to not be warped. Your Little Snuggle Bunny will be fine. And will have excellent taste in stuff. Plus a cool Mom, who (and this is the important bit) really, really loves her.
@Jade — And look how FAB we turned out!
I love that you know Gordon Simms and the atom, and that now your kids do too. LOVE.
Well I think that independant play is good for kids, if you structure every minute they never learn to figure things out for themselves. At 3 TV can provide that and having met that girl I can say that she is not sitting in a daze on the couch but a full participant of whatever activity is going on in the box with a screen! Your a good mom, no need for guilt there!
Oh, and I saw your comment on my blog. I am always up for coffee!
@Kendra — We’ll need to do coffee some morning then! It’s GOOOOOOD.
haha… I just had a conversation with a friend who described parking her 3 year old in front of a DVD so she could make supper. “I wasn’t going to BE that mom!” she said piteously. Dude, we’re all that mom, and it’s ok.
@tafel — Who IS that OTHER mom, anyway? The one WITHOUT the TV? Because I tell you, she’s making the rest of us look bad, and she needs a good smack up the bracket.
Before we got out the door this morning, my four-year old had already watched both Hercules and Ice Age – nope, not 15 minute segments on Treehouse – actual full-length movies. Oprah always says (said), “When you know better, you do better.” Hmmm, not always.
I tell you I WISH my kid would watch t.v. HE WON’T DO IT!!!
We’ve tried! Lasts all of 30 seconds and he is off to run…I think part of it is the language barrier as he is still learning english in leaps and bounds and part of it is the boy energy of “I need to move all parts of my body at once.”
But t.v. isn’t so bad. I watched a lot of it. And still do at times. I remember watching the Edison twins(now there is some science and fun in one show),Sesame Street, Mr. Dressup, The friendly Giant and other fine Canadian programming.
It’s all good! Now, please could the T.V. gods just have my kid watch t.v. for 1/2 an hour that would be great!
And DUDE there is NOTHING wrong with TOP GEAR!!! I mean where could you ever laugh your @SS off so hard as when you are watching the test driving of the Reliant Robin!
Well my kid wouldn’t watch TV until she was about 2.5, but now she watches it for at least an hour each day so I don’t self-destruct at the end of the afternoon.
As a child, I watched it much more than she does…. probably kind of addictively as the shy little kid I was.
Since high school I haven’t watched much TV — except BSG obsessively during periods of adoption stress.
So my point here is that TV watching now isn’t necessarily an indicator of TV watching in the future. And even if it is , it’s not necessarily a bad thing.
Chris
(Waiting for some part to show up in the mail that will restore our three channels since this whole digital cable sh*t-storm.)
P.S. I think my kid watched the aforementioned Hercules at Karen’s house today. While that happened, we talked about adult stuff. The kids were happy in the present and probably unharmed over the long-term.