Mar
16
Here at the Office of Official Things That Are Made Official By Saying They Are So, we have some announcements.
- It’s officially SPRING. No, maybe not on the calendar. But it is, ACTUALLY, REALLY spring, because this week, the local chipmunk has come out of hibernation and is coming to the patio every (not snowing) morning for peanuts.
- It’s officially TIME TO BUY A COW. Because this morning, in the grocery store, I found a carton of milk — filtered homogenized milk — for SIX DOLLARS. Also, they want me to give them NINE BUCKS for a big old block of old cheddar. NUH UH. I need dairy products + my grass needs mowing = COW TIME.
- 2011 is officially THE YEAR OF THE BUTTERMILK. Because OMG baking. So good. But there’s that whole EXPENSIVE DAIRY problem again. Damn.
- Alright. Previous statements have been revised, and should now read… It is officially TIME TO GO ON A LOW-FOOD DIET. Because have you SEEN the prices in the grocery store recently? It is getting MENTAL. $3.00 for a loaf of bread. Almost $6.00 for a case of pop. The price of flour and rice keeps rising. NO, WAIT… soup was on sale. Let us ONCE AGAIN (sigh) amend this official statement to read it is officially TIME TO GO ON A SOUP DIET.
- It’s officially TOO LATE. You’ve waited too long. Like, 20 YEARS too long. And now your physiotherapist decides it’s time to give you acupuncture on your knees. She’s talking “adjusting your chi”.
- It’s officially POOP WEEK. And, around here, that means it has been a week of SURPRISE!POOP. You get Stinkerbelle settled into bed, and an hour later there’s a commotion in her room and OMG SURPRISE!POOP! Or you’re just waking up (before anyone else so you can get a shower and some coffee is it too much to ask???) and all of a sudden there’s shouting from the Small Persons Room and HELLO! Let me guess. SURPRISE!POOP.
- It’s officially TIME FOR TECTONIC PLATES TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Seriously. NO MORE PUSHING EACH OTHER AROUND. This message is officially sanctioned by the people of Japan and Chile and New Zealand and Haiti, to name but a few.
- This is officially THE MOST AWESOME CAT IN THE UNIVERSE. And, happily, Maru and his people are safe after the recent earthquakes.
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Archives:
A year ago: Geek Kid
Two years ago: Adventures in Food
Three years ago: Hey Beautiful Day
Yeah to spring finally getting here! I just like going outside without having to put on 3 layers first.
I hate surprise poops. Loathe them. They always wreck a good thing. Also, I think we should run away together somewhere tropical and get a cow, you can bake, I can garden, and the pool boy will fan us while we sip icy drinks on the pool deck and the nanny cares for the children.
It was spring here….AND NOW IT IS SNOWING!! Not! Cool!!!!
Milk. Is. Redonkulous!!!! Cheese was on sale (ya, know the big blocks) for like $4.99 so we bought 3 big blocks…because hey is good until August if you don’t open it..so we will just look at and go “oh look, cheap cheese!”
That is the MOST AWESOMEST CAT IN THE UNIVERSE! Yay!!!! I love he doesn’t discriminate based on box size…he just loves them all up!
The cat video makes me so gleeful I just can’t stand it. I clapped at the end. LOVE.
@Alana — Maru rocks! Everything he does is full of win. Or fail, in the case of some very small boxes.