Mar

16

By CinnamonOpus

5 Comments

Categories: Random Thoughts

It’s Official

Here at the Office of Official Things That Are Made Official By Saying They Are So, we have some announcements.

  • It’s officially SPRING. No, maybe not on the calendar. But it is, ACTUALLY, REALLY spring, because this week, the local chipmunk has come out of hibernation and is coming to the patio every (not snowing) morning for peanuts.
  • It’s officially TIME TO BUY A COW. Because this morning, in the grocery store, I found a carton of milk — filtered homogenized milk — for SIX DOLLARS. Also, they want me to give them NINE BUCKS for a big old block of old cheddar. NUH UH. I need dairy products + my grass needs mowing = COW TIME.
  • 2011 is officially THE YEAR OF THE BUTTERMILK. Because OMG baking. So good. But there’s that whole EXPENSIVE DAIRY problem again. Damn.
  • Alright. Previous statements have been revised, and should now read… It is officially TIME TO GO ON A LOW-FOOD DIET. Because have you SEEN the prices in the grocery store recently? It is getting MENTAL. $3.00 for a loaf of bread. Almost $6.00 for a case of pop. The price of flour and rice keeps rising. NO, WAIT… soup was on sale. Let us ONCE AGAIN (sigh) amend this official statement to read it is officially TIME TO GO ON A SOUP DIET.
  • It’s officially TOO LATE. You’ve waited too long. Like, 20 YEARS too long. And now your physiotherapist decides it’s time to give you acupuncture on your knees. She’s talking “adjusting your chi”.
  • It’s officially POOP WEEK. And, around here, that means it has been a week of SURPRISE!POOP. You get Stinkerbelle settled into bed, and an hour later there’s a commotion in her room and OMG SURPRISE!POOP! Or you’re just waking up (before anyone else so you can get a shower and some coffee is it too much to ask???) and all of a sudden there’s shouting from the Small Persons Room and HELLO! Let me guess. SURPRISE!POOP.
  • It’s officially TIME FOR TECTONIC PLATES TO CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Seriously. NO MORE PUSHING EACH OTHER AROUND. This message is officially sanctioned by the people of Japan and Chile and New Zealand and Haiti, to name but a few.
  • This is officially THE MOST AWESOME CAT IN THE UNIVERSE. And, happily, Maru and his people are safe after the recent earthquakes.

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