Or, more likely, I should have said “prepare the eyeball bleach”. Because it is time to unleash upon Teh Interwebs the wonder that is THE UGLIEST TEA COZY EVER.
For my 11 Projects in 2011 knitting challenge, I decided I needed a tea cozy. Well, I DID need one, in fact, because I always make tea and then forget about it sitting in my teapot for hours until it is cold and nasty. So I decided that for my March project, I would make a tea cozy.
(Where is my February project, you ask? Well, it is done, but I cannot post photos of it because it is a SURPRISE for somebody who reads my blog. So. Once I get the package sent off containing the knitted surprisey goodness, I will post photos.)
And so, my March project is done and dusted.Â I’ve needed a tea cozy for a long time, and it was an easy project to knit. This way, I can make my tea, put its little sweater on, forget about it for an hour or whatever, and when I come back? STILL WARM. And less tea goes to waste as well. A FUNCTIONAL OBJECT.
I KNOW. YOU ARE AMAZED.
I made it out of an old sweater. I hated that sweater. It always itched. I think my skin is overly sensitive to wool. Plus it was crap yarn. I cannot imagine why I ever bought this sweater — or the one exactly like it, but in BEIGE — so somebody must have given them to me as a gift.
So in a fit of thriftiness I decided last year to frog the sweater and reuse the yarn. Certainly not for something anyone would WEAR, because OMGWTF SO ITCHY. But then the time came for me to start my next project, and this was the only yarn close at hand (as I was parked in front of one of the many BBC series I watch on the Tubes of You and the Netflix and I was NOT ABOUT TO GET UP WHEN THERES A COSTUME DRAMA ON SHUDDUP DONT YOU JUDGE ME).
And it’s a TEAPOT. It doesn’t get itchy. And it certainly doesn’t need to dress all fancy.
So it took me all of a few hours to knit and sew up, and it’s functional and made of recycled yarn. I didn’t think I could be so proud of something so ugly, but I AM. I’m quite fond of it, actually.
(But Tova, I will understand if, now, having seen it, you recoil in horror and think OMG NEVER MIND DON’T BOTHER MAKING ME ONE I DO NOT WANT THAT THING IN MY HOUSE.)