Impasse

We’re at an impasse here at The House of Peevish this morning, my peeps. We have grocery shopping to do and errands to run, but we are not going anywhere.

For this morning, Stinkerbelle said to me “I go potty”, and went into the bathroom, and pulled down her pants. I took off her diaper. And she sat on the potty.

(And sat. And sat. And faffed. And talked. And sat. And sat some more. Nothing came of it, maybe a fart or something.)

But now, she refuses to put a diaper back on.

OMG PEEPS. SHE’S STARTING TO POTTY TRAIN HERSELF.

I’ve been kinda “meh” about the whole potty training thing. I have been asking her periodically for the last year or so if she wants to use the potty and she adamantly refuses. NO POTTY NO POTTY NO NO NO POTTY. And I am okay with that. I figure she’ll train when she’s good and ready, and I’m not going to stress over it.

She’s always been a kid who knows her own mind and cannot be pushed into doing something. She’s always been the type of kid who won’t do something until she is completely good and ready to do it. Some people have said it’s an indicator of very high intelligence; others say it’s the mark of very high stubbornness. Either way, you can’t push that kid to do anything she does not feel ready to do, no way, no how.

When she was learning to walk, we tried and tried and tried to get her to walk. We made a game of it. We practiced. We cajoled. We begged. But Stinkerbelle would have NONE OF IT. So we waited. Months went by. We despaired that she was delayed. She was all “Whatever”. We waited.

And the one day, she crawled to the middle of the living room, stood up, and walked away.

OH I SEE SO THAT’S HOW IT’S GOING TO BE IS IT.

So we learned that she’ll do things when SHE wants to, and not a minute before. Crawling forward, walking, talking, whatever. She knows when she’s ready. And when she’s ready, she’s REALLY ready.

So with potty training, I took a laissez faire approach. I figured, she’d let me know. And it does no good to push, and it is no good stressing everyone out and making it a stressful, scary thing.

She’s not afraid of her potty. When Mom or Dad uses their potty, she’ll sometimes come in and sit down on her potty, too, fully clothed mind you. Maybe she’ll pull her pants up to her knees, or down around her ankles, in solidarity, but she’s never really shown any inclination to want to REALLY use her potty.

Until today. Today was different.

So, after sitting for half an hour, with nothing to show for it besides vapour, she wanted to get up off the potty. But when I said, Okay, fine, let’s put your diaper back on, she was all NO DIAPER.

So something’s going on.

So we got out the Big Girl Panties, some cotton training pants I have been keeping for JUST SUCH AN OCCASION. And we put them on her. I was not about to have her running about the place with nothing on — I know people do that, but it’s freezing cold outside and chilly in here and I’d rather she keep a shirt on and wash a bunch of wet pants than have her catch a chill.

She was not impressed with the Big Girl Panties. But I told her, these are your options: potty, diaper, or BGPs. So she grudgingly went with the Panties.

And so, I waited.

Maybe 5 minutes later, Stinkerbelle started to whine. She grabbed my hand and started pulling me, but I don’t think she knew exactly where. I led her to the bathroom to the potty but that was not what she felt she needed, but she didn’t really know WHAT she wanted me to help her with. She just knew she needed help.

But she could not tell me. I didn’t know, either.

Until a moment later, as she stood playing with her fridge magnets, and a puddle began to form at her feet.

A HA, said the Novice Potty-training Mom. I SEE.

Stinkerbelle was unimpressed with the puddle and the drippy legs and the wet BGPs. So I took her Big Girl Panties off her, and plopped her on the potty, where a little ridiculously tiny pee came out.

So far, she has only understood the whole Poo business. “Poo stink”, she says. But pee? Is kind of a new concept. I told her about pee, and telling me if she has to pee, and all that stuff. And then I took her up to her change table, and cleaned her up.

I asked her if she wanted a diaper on, or Big Girl Panties. She said NO DIAPER. She opted for the Big Girl Panties.

Progress? Maybe.

Anyway, she’s not going anywhere today without pants on. And even if I did put pants on her, she’s not going anywhere without a diaper. She WANTS pants, but I told her “no diaper, no pants”.

So we are at an impasse. We are grounded for the day, as we wait for the next puddle. I figure, for today at least, as long as she is interested in the whole potty deal, we’ll give it a try. Tomorrow she is at the sitters, so if the sitter wants to try the whole potty thing too, then great. And we’ll just take things a day at a time after that, around our regularly scheduled life. Whenever.

I won’t push her. She’ll train when she’s good and ready, and not a minute before. But I can’t help getting a little OMG SQUEE EXCITED at the prospect of maybe not changing more diapers. And, if I am completely honest, a little sad too.

Either way, I have a whole lot of time at home today with a half-naked toddler, a mop, and a carpet cleaner.