It’s Friday, and time for baring your soul. Are you sitting comfortably? Then we’ll begin.
- …that I am sick and tired of being sick and tired. This cold can go die in a fire, already.
- …that although being sick is bollocks and my throat and chest hurt, I like my new deep throaty voice. It’s kinda sexy.
- …that there are two chocolate bars sitting on the desk beside me, and it’s all I can do to resist eating them all in one sitting. Or maybe two. They’re just STARING at me, WILLING me to open them. Bastards. Weight-loss, healthy-lifestyle sabotaging BASTARDS. Oh, how I LOVE them.
- …that this has not been my best week ever, family-nutrition wise. Whoops. See points 1, 2 and 3 above.
- …that the grocery was jam-packed full of a bajillion very old people this morning. They were EVERYWHERE, leaving their carts blocking the aisles, asking me where the ice cream cones are — WHAT ABOUT ME, A FRAZZED WOMAN IN JEANS PUSHING A FULL CART WITH A BLABBY TODDLER STICKING HER HANDS INTO EVERY DISPLAY AND SHELF, SAYS “GROCERY STORE STAFF” TO YOU?? — and trying to steal the basket THAT I PAID FOR since they don’t use plastic bags at the store anymore. It made me want to grab a giant melon and play Old People Bowling and just mow ’em all down. STRIKE! HA HA!
- …that scheduling Stinkerbelle in 3 classes in the fall might have been overdoing it a bit. Monday swimming, Tuesday gym, and Wednesday craft and gym, plus Thursday work, leaves only Friday to DO ALL THE THINGS. I can’t do ALL THE THINGS in just ONE DAY! What am I, some kind of WIZARD?? (And don’t even ASK me to go out on the WEEKEND. Because the world is just CHOCK FULL O’ NUTS on the weekend. I am not going out in the stupid.)
- …that I am more than half done my Christmas shopping. Which, by the way, I have mostly done online or before October. See point above.
- …that our next door neighbour, Young Doctor, has put his house up for sale, and I looked at the listing online, and I’m all OMG WANT. It has a bunch of the things we want in a house. But we can’t afford it NO WAY NO HOW. So I has a sad.
- …the other side of the coin of Young Doctor putting his house up for sale is the thought OMG STUDENTS DO NOT WANT. Our street has been noticed by a number of people with more money than brains who buy really expensive homes for their university aged speshul snowflayke preshuss angel darling childrens and their friends to live in and if one more house full of students moves into our neighbourhood we are MOVING.
- …that I got a call just now, and there was this pause, and then a deep throaty voice started talking, and I was all “OMGWTF OBSCENE PHONE CALL AT 2 IN THE AFTERNOON???” only to find it was the cat clinic calling to confirm our appointment tomorrow. So that was anticlimactic.