Pure Joy

I had a moment of pure joy yesterday, because I was lucky enough to observe a moment of pure joy.

I took my daughter out for a walk yesterday afternoon. We walk around the block and she pushes her babies in their stroller. She gets some exercise and fresh air and a change in her environment and gets to see people and things. And I get… something. Anyway. It’s something we enjoy doing.

Our street is full of small children, and many of them are Stinkerbelle’s age, or close to it. Across from us is a little almost-2 year old girl and her big brother, who is almost 5, and next door to them is a quiet 7 year old girl. A few doors down is a little almost-2 year old boy and his sister Leah who is probably 4. Up the street are two sisters, aged 5 and 9, and next door to them are two girls aged 4 and 7. Up the street further still is a shy little fellow, too shy at 3 to speak to us but not too shy to walk around the neighbourhood in his new big boy underpants, and his sister Rachel, who loves Stinkerbelle’s hairdos and regularly asks her mom to imitate them — a challenge with her fine, wavy blonde hair.

There are more, many more, but they are the closest.

Anyway, we often see kids when we are out walking, and That Baby loves to see them and yearns to play with them, but she is usually too little. Or, more accurately, they don’t know her because her somewhat antisocial, older and unpretty mom doesn’t know their younger, thinner, wealthier moms, and so they don’t want to play with her. This has been bothering me, that my daughter may not have friends on our street to play with because I don’t have friends on our street that I play with. So I have been making great efforts recently to say hello to parents and kids we pass when we are out walking, rather than just quietly shepherd That Baby by as I have grown accustomed to doing.

It takes a lot of effort. It is not what I am good at.

Anyway, back to yesterday. I decided to take Stinkerbelle out for a walk. She grabbed her stroller and her babies and off we went. We started up the sidewalk, up the hill. We were pushing along up the hill, when, about 100 yards away at the top of the hill, two little girls appeared on the sidewalk. It was Leah, on a bike, and Rachel, walking.

Then I heard the most wonderful sound. Leah and Rachel began shouting, “MOM! It’s Stinkerbelle! Stinkerbelle is out! Mom! MOM! STINKERBELLE IS HERE!” And I saw them dancing with impatience.

Stinkerbelle heard her name and looked up. Leah and Rachel were rushing down the sidewalk towards us, calling her name.

And that is when I saw the most incredible look of pure joy come across Stinkerbelle’s face.

FRIENDS.

It was the first time, EVER I think, when Stinkerbelle has had little friends come running to see her. The realization that there were other children who wanted to see her, who were happy to see her and wanted to play with her, caused her to erupt in a little dance of pure joy and start barrelling up the sidewalk to meet them.

And seeing that look on my daughter’s face made me well up. With joy. With relief.

The realization that my child has friends, and the joy I felt sharing in her happiness.

The relief that I have not completely screwed up my child. Not yet, anyway.

I watched them, chattering and squealing and dancing around as excited little girls are wont to do. It was wonderful.

And, as I walked my happy, glowing baby home after her little visit, I wiped more than a few tears from my eyes.