May
18
It has been almost two years, but I still have a lot to learn as a parent.
- At the park today, my daughter was desperately trying to join in with the other kids. I was hovering constantly, trying to keep her from taking other kids’ toys, kicking up sand with her crazy-happy-kid dance, and pissing off moms we don’t know. I have to learn to just let go and relax and let her be a kid, and whatever happens, happens.
- Also at the park today, my daughter ran off, following a group of about 6 kids and their parents across the park towards the swings. She was joyous, running through the grass, happy to be a kid and wanting to be part of the group. I called her back, because she shouldn’t just follow strangers like that, but also because there were not enough swings for the number of kids and I didn’t want her to be hurt and in the way of the swings. And in so doing, I broke her heart utterly. And it made me cry. I have to learn that the tough decision is the right one sometimes, no matter how much it hurts.
- The little girl across the street came over to play for awhile today, and after lots of playing together and hand-holding and walking together, was up in Stinkerbelle’s face trying to hug her. And hug her. And hug her. Until they both toppled over and Stinkerbelle banged her head on the sidewalk. It was purely innocent, but still it went south pretty quick. And she’s fine, but still she banged her little melon and she cried big tears. Was the hugging and friendship worth the tears? I have to learn when to intervene and when to let these situations go their natural way.
- I am not the most socially adept mom on the planet. I am not young. I am not stylish. I am not thin. I am not an experienced parent. I am not the same colour as my kid. I am not above raising my voice and saying no to my child. All these things work against me in playground/playgroup politics. I need to learn to fit in and get along and make friends, so my child will fit in and have friends.
This parenting thing is always a challenge.
