Oh, we have lots of Teh Drama at the House of Peevish these days. It’s like a movie of the week — nay, an Afterschool Special — around here with all the tears and the anger and the pain. Maybe even a Very Special Episode of something.
Yes, we have come to the part of the show where Stinkerbelle Learns About Emotions.
I never know from moment to moment what emotions are on tap with That Baby, but let me tell you, it is often LOUD. And sometimes even hilarious.
She has learned the fine art of crying to get what she wants, wailing to express disappointment, and howling with rage. Often there is hitting and flailing, usually at Mom because, well, SOMEBODY must be to blame. She has the positive emotions, too, but she has always had them. Recently, she has decided to work on the full range of emotions from A to B.
I admit, most times it is hard not to bust out laughing, or dismiss her emoting with a sarcastic throwaway. But we are trying to take her emotions Very Seriously. Because Emotions Are Good And Healthy.
Okay. So. Yesterday provides a good example of That Baby’s new-found emotional range. Yesterday afternoon, I brought Stinkerbelle upstairs to watch some videos, as the upstairs is where our sofa and chair and bookshelves are, so it provides ample space for her to play and cruise on the furniture and try out her new-found skills at standing and cruising and taking tentative steps. She likes to stand and dance to the Wiggles — well, who DOESN’T — so she got herself stood up with her bum against the couch and was doing a little dance along with Sam. (Sam ROCKS.) Periodically, she would get into this little half-squat position, just tentatively putting her hands down to be sure she could get down if she needed to.
So she was rocking out to the Wiggles when, suddenly and without prior warning, she fell down. Now, with all the up-and-down practicing she has been doing, you’d think this would be no big deal. And normally it is not. But yesterday afternoon she had had no nap, as we are trying to eliminate the troublesome afternoon nap, so she was tired. So, when she fell down, she forgot to put her hands out in front of her, and she fell flat on her face.
The jigging came to a crashing halt. And a wail went up like an air raid siren in the London Blitz.
I am sure it hurt a little bit, but I think that being tired made things much worse than they actually were. The tired, you will note, increases Teh Drama EXPONENTIALLY. So, there were huge tears and sobs. I don’t think she was in much pain, but she was PISSED. SOMEBODY made her fall down. She decided that somebody was ME.
I had grabbed That Baby and pulled her close to comfort her and kiss away any boo-boos. But there would be no cuddling for comfort. OH NO. I had MADE HER FALL DOWN AND INTERRUPTED HER DANCING WITH SAM. There was smacking and pushing and yelling.
I tried not to laugh. For this was VERY SERIOUS.
Finally, I sat her up on my knee. And then began the Advanced Dramatic Crying.
Now, this is a special Advanced program of Teh Emotions that Stinkerbelle has graduated to, as she is already adept at Basic Emotions. This involves scrunching up one’s face and going “WAAAAAAH”, while keeping one’s eyes open just enough to see if anyone is watching. Also, it comes in handy to convince those around you that you are In Pain Or Distress while simultaneously keeping an eye on Your Show.
Well, I was periodically snuggling her close to comfort her, and she could not see Her Wiggles. So, the Advanced Dramatic Crying was necessary. Of course.
The Advanced Dramatic Crying also comes in handy when:
- You are chatting with/trying to pet/terrorizing a kitty and the kitty leaves.
- Somebody is not paying you ENOUGH ATTENTION.
- You are sitting in Mommy’s lap and she PUTS YOU DOWN.
- You want to talk to Daddy on the phone and Mommy HANGS UP. (I know. The HORROR.)
- You fall down, height notwithstanding.
- You drop a toy and nobody rushes to pick it up.
- Somebody — brace yourselves, people — somebody TURNS OFF SESAME STREET.
I know. Hard stuff to read. But — and I know it SHOCKS you to read this, but — it happens in the course of That Baby’s day. It happens REGULARLY.
So you can see how Teh Emotions might be needed.
But remember, people, Emotions Are Good And Healthy.
Even though they make Mommy laugh.