And Now, A Rant

It’s the long weekend. Nobody’s hanging around the blogs on a weekend, especially not a LONG weekend, and especially especially one with Valentine’s Day smack in the middle of it. So since it’s quiet, and nobody’s around, I am going to take this opportunity to vent.

Brace yourself for shouting. And some profanity.

Excuse me.

*ahem*

I AM SO FRICKING SICK AND TIRED OF VEGETABLES! GAAAAAAAAAAH! If I see one more vegetable stick or baby carrot I am going to SMACK somebody! One more vegetable that ISN’T A POTATO DISH OF SOME KIND and I am going to LOSE MY SHIT, PEOPLE! I would rather gnaw my own arm off than eat ONE MORE STINKING VEGETABLE. I hate this dieting. HATE. IT! HATEITHATEITHATEIT. All I want is something RICH and CREAMY and FLAVOURFUL and FULL OF BAD THINGS FOR ME. I would do a front crawl through a cheesecake right now. I would stick my head in a chocolate fountain and just start slurping. I would lock myself overnight in a bakery with just a big mug of coffee for company. NO — I want the BIGGEST BREAKFAST in the UNIVERSE! With EXTRA BACON! And ice cream for dessert! ENOUGH ALREADY with the rabbit food. VEGGIE TRAYS — You are my SWORN ENEMY! I declare WAR on celery sticks EVERYWHERE!

Phew.

I feel much better. Thank you.

Pass the salad.