A snippet of my life, right now:
- My child has started singing and dancing. Now, mind you, the dancing consists of bouncing up and down. And the singing is a very loud and tuneless “AAAAAaaaaaaAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaahhh”, but still, it’s heartfelt. But all it takes is for me to start clapping and lalala-ing like some Sousa march, and she’s off to the races, man.
- I am hoping that one day, Baby Einstein will do a Doctor Who-themed video.
- If the pants aren’t stretchy or flannel or fleecy and have an elastic or drawstring waist, they’re not getting anywhere near me.
- My house is decorated in a combination of Early Canadian Plastic Toy and Early Modern Quilted Blankie, with a smattering of Recyclable Pop Can thrown in to liven things up.
- As Kelly can witness, there are times when I look at a barf stain on my shirt and actually SAY, OUT LOUD, “Hmmm. I guess I’m going to have to change my shirt.” Like there’s a CHOICE.
- Supper only SEEMS like it’s optional.
- If Van Morrison ever records “Twinkle Twinkle” or “Baa Baa Black Sheep”, I am TOTALLY buying it.
- If it were not for garbage day (Wednesday) I would have no clue what day it was. And if it were not for my cat (who yells to be fed at regular intervals) I would lose track of time.
- One of these days, I’m going to have to tackle Mount Laundry. But it’s going to be a helluva lot sooner than I face the Valley of the Dirty Toilet or drive in the Vacuum Rally, I can tell you.
- I swear to you, there’s a drunken circus midget living in my house who communicates using a strange amalgam of Da-Da-Das, some Zulu click language, raspberries, and shrieking.
Admit it. You TOTALLY want to be me, don’t you.