Here we are, another Monday morning. And it’s all right.
I’ve thought about it, and I’ve decided: I don’t hate Mondays. Which is nice, since I have always hated Mondays. Probably because I always hated having to go wherever it was I had to go on Mondays.
That’s not entirely true. There were times when I actually didn’t mind Mondays. I didn’t mind Mondays in university, since I actually quite enjoyed university life. I was never a person who minded doing exams and studying, and I quite honestly liked doing research for and writing papers. So Mondays were not so bad. (Except for the waking up bit. Waking up on Monday morning still sucked.)
But I hated working in offices and I hated high school, so I usually dreaded Mondays, and the rushing around to get wherever I had to be after the weekend off. But there were two jobs I had where Mondays were okay. One was Japan, because I had Sunday and Monday off, so Monday was my day to go sightseeing or shopping or whatever. Since the majority of people were at work or in school, trains and shrines and temples and grocery stores were rarely crowded. The other was a job I had travelling to offices and training, because at least each Monday was a in different place with different people. So even if the office I was in turned out to be like the third level of Hell, it was at least all fresh and new on Monday morning.
But nowadays, Mondays are alright. I like the quiet that comes when everybody has gone off to work. And Monday gets me back into a routine, which I quite like. Get up, get BDH’s breakfast and lunch packed, load the dishwasher and get the laundry started. Get a cup of coffee and sit down and get some writing done. It’s nice. I feel productive on a Monday.
BDH is usually harried and stressed on Monday morning. Often running late, he has a hard time getting up and out the door. And his job is so busy it’s no wonder. I sometimes feel stressed because he is stressed, but there’s nothing I can do to help. And I feel guilty sometimes too, because he is running off to work and I am not. But then, my work is here, so the workday starts as soon as I get up. And it will be even earlier when Mystery Baby is here. So I guess it all evens out.
The cats like Mondays. Cats are creatures who like routine (even if that routine involves sleeping for 18 hours a day). They are happiest when their people get up at a predictable hour — in fact, there’s a crowd sitting waiting outside my bedroom door each weekday morning. They like the morning routine of being fed and queueing up for attention. They seem a bit confused on weekends when we get up late and BDH is home and they don’t have a routine. So I am sure they will be happy when Mystery Baby is here, too, because that will mean their routine will happen every day at a regular time — even if it’s upset a bit in the beginning.
So we all kind of breathe a sigh of relief on Monday mornings. And we have time and quiet to think.
I’m really trying to live in the moment a lot more. I sometimes sit for a moment and think how grateful I am for these days. I never really took the time to appreciate things like I do now. When I was working in an office, it was all too rushed and stressed to take any time, and besides, it was such a nightmare for me to work in a corporate environment that there wasn’t much to appreciate. But now, I can sit here and enjoy moments like this. I can sit and appreciate the quiet. I can spend a few moments and snuggle The Bubby, knowing that there will not be these moments forever. I can watch Lucy snooze in a sunbeam.
Sure, life’s not perfect. We can’t buy stuff like we used to. Our house is smaller than our friends’ homes and our furniture needs replacing. There are things I’d love to do around here, like finish the basement, and things we have to do and can’t really afford to, like finish the patio and put up some gates on the backyard. My car needs a ton of work, and we have to find cash for that too. We’re older than we want to be, and not as fit as we’d like to be, and feeling our age. And we’ve been waiting for children in our family for far too long.
But all in all, I am enjoying life way more than I ever have. Or maybe, I am appreciating it more than I ever have. We used to have money to buy whatever we wanted, and we weren’t happy. We used to be young and fit, and we weren’t happy. We used to be busy and running all the time, and we weren’t happy. So I am savouring this time. It may not last forever.
I hope it lasts a while longer, though, because this is the most content I’ve felt in my entire life. And this is who I want to be when we bring Mystery Baby home. (Okay, maybe a BIT more in shape, but STILL.) I want to raise a child who knows a contented family life and happy parents. We may not be the richest family on the block, and we may not be perfect, but I hope we will be among the happiest.
Even on a Monday.