As BDH started sifting through the piles and piles of STUFF — what else can you call months and months of papers and cables and discs and other miscellaneous flotsam and jetsam of everyday life? — that surround his desk on a regular basis, he stopped.
“You know,” he said, “we really should get going on the adoption stuff.”
It was kind of out of the blue, but I couldn’t disagree. It had been months since we’d done anything but shop for this adoption we’re supposedly “working” towards.
He moved more stuff about and said, “There’s all this stuff we’re supposed to have done for when we get our referral. And one day that call is going to come and then the social worker is going to tell us we’ve got, what, 3 days to get ready, and we’re going to be in a panic.”
And then I sat down at my computer and started surfing. And BDH wandered off to have a bath.
Honestly. How is it so hard to get this stuff done? You’d think we had so much to do, when really, there’s a list of maybe 5-10 things. It’s just so HARD to get up the gumption to do this stuff. There’s no motivation.
Part of it is practical. I mean, really — who wants to live with baby locks on their cupboards any sooner than is absolutely necessary? Who wants to have to fight each day with baby locks on the medicine cabinet (despite the fact that it’s 4 feet in the air and above the dryer) any sooner than they have to?
And I am really not keen on putting work into the baby’s room until we actually HAVE a referral. I am tired of buying gender-neutral stuff and not being able to buy age-appropriate things.
And if I am being completely honest, I don’t want to spend any more money on the “idea” of a baby. I’d like confirmation that there IS an ACTUAL baby, as opposed to a THEORETICAL baby, thankyouverymuch. I am at the point of this relationship with my agency, the social worker, the government and Ethiopia in general where I am saying, “show me the BABY!”
BAH. Also? I am a procrastinator. And endless waiting feeds RIGHT INTO the procrastination machine.
And my glands are swollen again. (Either that, or I pulled a muscle in… what, my throat?? I sprained one of my double chins?? How is that possible? It must be swollen glands. Although how would I know this? Looking back, medical school sounds like it might have been a good idea, just for moments like this when an odd part of your body hurts and you go “WTF?” But I digress.) So I am getting sick again.
So. Needless to say, not a lot of baby stuff got done. Like, in actual fact, NONE.
Although I did get some vacuuming and sweeping done. And a load of laundry. And I made a nice batch of peanut butter cookies.
Oh well. It’s another week. Maybe this week I’ll feel motivated. Maybe this week will be THE WEEK WE GET THINGS DONE.
And maybe monkeys are going to fly out of my butt.
Hells bells, where did I put that template for the fire escape plan, anyway?