Snow. We Has It.

DO NOT WANT!

(Those of you who are regular readers of Cheezburger know what I mean.)

It’s snowing again. Some storm from, like, Montana or something came through last night, and now they are talking about some storm from the Adirondacks dumping snow on us today. Or maybe they’re the same place and it’s the same storm and it just gets around. Whatever. It’s still snowing.

“Quel surprise,” you say to yourself — for you are so bilingue — “as you live in CANADA and everything.”

Well, yes. This is true. You are very smart.

However, if you’ve been reading much at all of my ranting and railing here recently, you know that we in the House of Peevish are NOT the fans of the snow.

Or the prospect of shovelling which — lets be honest, here — means I have to 1) go outside in the cold and b) potentially deal with other people on the street (a.k.a. “neighbours”), two things which I don’t much enjoy.

Although Kelly loves a good story about The Mayor and The Mayor’s Wife, the chances of me coming out of an encounter with The Mayor with a good story are roughly the same as you reading a news story about a housewife in Canada repeatedly smacking her neighbour in the head with a snow shovel. Those are NOT good odds.

So, yes. Where was I? Storms from the Adirondacks and/or Montana.

Well as far as I am concerned, I don’t know why they don’t just keep their own damn snow. Why they have to keep sending it over here, I do not know.

Although, at least it’s not from Siberia.

When I lived in Japan, there was not much of a winter, per se — at least in the area where I lived. It would get cold, and snow would fall a little, but it would never stay. Winter seemed to last about 3 weeks there. It was perfect.

Although one morning, after I had been there only a month or so, it got really cold. And I had no winter coat there with me, so I came in to work red-faced and bundled up in whatever clothes I owned. And I got to chatting with my students, as was my routine, about the weather. (We started each class with small talk — a round of “how are you” and chat about the weather. Valuable and fundamental social interaction in any English-speaking country.)

So this particular day, we were chatting about how it suddenly had gotten so very cold. And that’s when my student mentioned there was a storm blowing in from Siberia.

I almost fell off my seat. Seriously. I did a double-take that they would have been proud of in the movies.

“Excuse me? SIBERIA?”

I think that’s when it hit me for the first time. “OMYDOG. I am living in ASIA.” It had never really occurred to me before.

A storm. Coming in from Siberia.

SIBERIA.

Siberia wasn’t someplace that had ever struck me as a REAL place before. I mean, I had only ever encountered it reading books, and National Geographic, and in movies and stuff. But since I’d never really dealt with Siberia up close and personal, it had never occurred to me that it was actually a REAL place.

And yet, it suddenly was. Writ large. In real life. Siberia was an actual, real place. And sending me cold weather to my warm little town in Japan.

I was, to say the least, a little freaked out. I walked around muttering, “cold weather coming in FROM SIBERIA” for DAYS. I think I might even have called home to tell people.

(And now, needless to say, I feel a bond with Siberia. For I know she is there, and I know she brings the weather.)

So yeah. More snow. Although not from Siberia, which I am sure if it DID come through would be awesome and big.

And also shovelling. I has it.

9 thoughts on “Snow. We Has It.

  1. I also am tired of the snow. Dad has his regular time table down to a science now. Shovel the driveway, get the paper, have breakfast, walk on the treadmill and then it is almost time for lunch. The only thing that I am looking forward to this winter is coming up on the 24th. CUBA for 1 week. It will be like heaven after this winter. After todays weather I will be more then ready. Did I say I was READY.

  2. Oh you and your CUBA! Everyone will be so jealous!

    But I am sure you will have a great time and we will be counting on you to drink those fruity tropical drinks, maybe with fruit or a little umbrella in them, on our behalf.

  3. So, Siberia is a SHE? I am always fascinated by new information.

    I do wonder who decides what the gender of certain areas. Was there a vote? A caucus? A consensus? A dial in vote on a primetime evening show? It’s these sorts of important details that matter, you understand.

    And also? Brrrrrr.

  4. I’m a day late but I just had to say – while on a call with a Texan colleague today, she started to exclaim that it was snowing. Throughout the call she kept saying ‘it’s still snowing’ ‘big white flakes,’ etc etc. Such a novelty for them – twice in one month, no less. Suckers.

  5. Kelly — Siberia MUST be a SHE. A big, bad, beauteous babushka of a SHE. A SHE who will feed you till you bust and then complain you never call her SHE.

    (Plus she brings the cold like nobody’s business. She doesn’t mess around. I feel the kinship.)

    Also, it ends in A. Which we all KNOW is a sign of feminine.

    Seriously. What else COULD it be?

    I mean, it’s not Mexico. Which, of course, we know is a HE. Or even Finland. ALSO a HE.

  6. Yes. Finland is DEFINITELY a HE.

    Not a very tough guy type of a HE. Like Israel. I picture Israel as a tough guy.

    Randomly, I must ask you – you with all the gender identities of the world – MADAGASCAR – which one?

    *randomly*

    Shh! We’re hiding. Be quiet everyone. That includes me. Shh! Who’s making that noise? Oh, it’s me again…

  7. Maurice, you did not raise your hand. Therefore, your heinous comment will be stricken from the record. Does anyone else have the heebie-jeebies for Mr. Alex? No? Good. So shut up.

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