Don’t Say You Weren’t Warned

Just so you know… the Apocalypse is upon us. (I am only telling you this because I care, and I want you to be prepared. But it IS coming.)

Now, you may ask yourself, how do I know this?

I had always thought there were Four Horsemen to warn of the Apocalypse. Turns out, it’s actually FOUR CATS.

Oh yes. FOUR CATS.

And I saw them this morning. (Well, starting last night actually, when Cinnamon climbed up onto my bed and actually SETTLED IN as opposed to behaving like a GIANT WEENIE.)

There are definite signs:

• Lucy ate CAT FOOD this morning. (I know. I hope you are sitting down.) The most finicky cat in the universe ate what was OFFERED.
• I bribed Bubby to eat by giving her a couple of teaspoons of the high-test regular cat food instead of her special diet food. She thinks she has pulled a fast one on me, and has been positively HAPPY and JAUNTY all morning. NARY A SHOUT TO BE HAD.
• The aforementioned “Cinnamon-doesn’t-behave-like-a-weenie” incident of last night.
• Duncan was actually SCARED by something this morning, and is now walking around with the poofiest tail I have ever seen. He’s like Pepe Le Pew over there.

Oh, there are other signs, too:

• BDH did all the dishes yesterday. Voluntarily. Cheerfully.
• We have a LONG WEEKEND in FEBRUARY. Like I have been wishing for my entire life.
• I am getting significantly more sleep with my mask on these days.
• It’s still early days, but it looks like this may actually be a month in which we are spending less than we make. And in a tax month, too. (I know. Crazy. Staying within budget. Us. Hard to imagine.)
• BDH ate TOFU last week. Happily. AND SQUASH.

But you KNOW the Apocalypse will be upon us if we get the biggest sign of all in the near future: A REFERRAL. If that happens… well, all I can say, is pack some water and canned goods and run for the hills, man.