There’s been a lot of tightening of our belts around here lately.
Yes, we are adopting, and so we’ve had to consider the fact that, well, it costs a lot of money. And since I am a stay-at-home mom-to-be and we have only the one income, we’ve had to budget a bit — which we are very, very bad at — and give up things we would normally buy and do — again, something we are very, very bad at. So, we’ve found ourselves quite frequently saying “I’d love that, but…” and passing on things we used to be able to do or have or buy when I was working.
But on a more literal level, we are actually, really, tightening our actual belts. Well, not so much WE, so much as BDH. I cannot believe the change in him! He’s been playing soccer at least 2 nights a week, and eating better AND less, and it shows. He’s losing weight and gaining muscle, and it really shows. For someone who has been struggling with his weight as long as I have known him, it’s been a real transformation. He looks wonderful.
He denies it, of course. He doesn’t want me to feel bad because he is losing weight and I, quite obviously, am not. But he looks FAB.
And so, it makes me think.
I guess I need to be better about getting in shape. Because, quite frankly, I am not.
I worry sometimes, that my newly-fit husband is going to look at his young, svelte soccer-playing female teammates and then come home and look at me and wonder where his young, fit wife went. I got my hair cut and coloured last week, and so I got the “young” part covered. Now I have to work on the “fit” part. I don’t want him to look at me one day and say to himself, “I have a fat wife, and I don’t find her attractive anymore”.
I also don’t want my child to get frustrated with me because I am too out-of-shape to play with him or her, too old and not fit enough to keep up.
I used to be in great shape. I used to love to exercise, and loved to buy clothes. Now, I don’t do any of that. Of course, I could afford it back then, both in time and in money.
I have tried. I try starting workout plans, and then abandon them just as easily. It’s hard to stay motivated to work out at home. There are so many other things that need doing. And so many other things I would rather be doing. I’ve skated by for years on muscle mass and a good metabolism. But not so much anymore.
Now, I am just out-of-shape. Now, I am just flabby and fat.
So I have to do something. There’s too much to lose. The question is, what? We cannot afford for me to join a gym, and frankly, it doesn’t appeal that much to me unless they have some classes that are interesting where I could dissolve into a group. I could sign up for classes in a martial art or yoga or something, I suppose, but I have to find something that is absolute beginner-level and that will hold my interest. And cheap, obviously.
But it has to be something. I need to tighten my belt soon, too.