Life’s Laws

There are certain laws in life that I’ve come to learn are true and cannot be denied.

  1. The things that are worst for you taste the best.
  2. Your hair always looks its worst when someone really attractive comes to the door.
  3. If you’re nervous about visiting someone’s home, your sock will miraculously spring a hole in it.
  4. Love and joy can be noisy. Especially when you need sleep.
  5. Before you get that tattoo, remember that you’re going to be old one day and that skin will stretch and sag.
  6. You can’t go home again, but you can shop there. (That one I got from Grosse Pointe Blank. But in my case, it’s partly true.)
  7. If you put your garbage out the night before garbage day so you can sleep later, instead of getting up early, they won’t come to pick up the garbage until after noon.
  8. You can tell a person’s character from how they treat wait staff in restaurants.
  9. Class reunions only happen when you are overweight.
  10. If someone drives by with music blasting really loud, it won’t be GOOD music.
  11. Before you name your child, make sure it sounds dignified in combination with “The Right Honourable _____” or “Reverend _______”.
  12. Real friends are the ones you don’t see or talk to for years, but when you do see them again, you just pick up where you left off.
  13. You always run out of creamer just as you make a really good quality pot of coffee.
  14. Life is more fun if you handle your goof-ups with good humour.
  15. Being kind to strangers you deal with in your day-to-day-business costs nothing, but the rewards are endless.