…doing many things. But I am not.
There’s so much to be done here, now that we are getting close to done our paperwork for the adoption. I have to get the baby’s room cleaned out, because right now it’s just a storage room. I have to shampoo the carpet, and paint, and assemble the furniture. I have to put up blinds, and buy a crib mattress, and decorate. And yet? I’m not.
The house needs cleaning. I should vacuum, and dust, and sweep. I should mop the floors and clean the basement.
I have a load of junk in the garage that needs hauling away.
And yet? I’m not.
It’s a brilliantly sunny, beautiful, quiet morning.
I’m sitting by an open window with a cup of coffee and a cat on my lap. I’m perusing the volleyball news online and taking my time waking up. Maybe we’ll have some eggs and toast in a few minutes.
I know that our life will change, and our quiet times like this will be few and far between soon.
I know I should be rushing around and busily get things done. But I spent so many years rushing to do things that I “should” do, and all I got for it was a paycheque and a lot of stress and sadness.
So instead, I’ve shifted my priorities somewhat.
I know that there are things to be done, and I will do them. I have a week full of days in which I have lists of chores to be done. I will just add these things to my list. I can put away the summer clothes and start to get out the winter clothes on laundry day. I can clean out the baby’s room bit by bit, and make sure each week I am ready to pitch stuff out on garbage day. I can vacuum and carpet clean in there on the same day that I vacuum the rest of the house.
There’s time for all that. But these moments, moments where I can enjoy a moment of beauty outside or a little inner peace, they don’t come around every day. And they’re the moments we should be living for.
I’ve got to learn to live in the moment more, and really enjoy it.
I want to do it to improve my quality of life, but also, to really enjoy my child when he or she comes home. I don’t want to be so busy doing what I “should” do that I miss out on things.
Baby talk. Moments of comfort. Singing songs. Late night feedings.
They only happen once. Blink and they are gone.
I’ve decided I should take time to live in these moments.