Taking Stock

Some personal challenges I want to meet in the next little while:

  • Going to a sleep clinic to figure out what’s going on or not going on with my sleep. I’ve been tired since the day I was born. There’s not one day in my life that I can remember NOT being tired. So I want to get it fixed. Especially if we have a child coming sometime in the next 6-12 months. I’d love to have lots of energy to give him or her. And I am hoping that being rested makes some of the other challenges easier. So here’s hoping the sleep clinic, where I have an appointment next week, can sort me out!
  • Exercising more consistently. I want to find an exercise regimen that I enjoy that I will stick to, but until that happens, I have to buckle down and just do something. I hate getting on the treadmill, hatehatehate it, but it’s free and it’s here. I find excuses not to get on it, but I can’t keep doing that anymore. And I need to get my days organized so that I have lots of time to go for a walk as well. That’s something cheap that I can do every day.
  • Getting better at dealing with being around babies. It’s still really hard to deal with tiny babies, knowing I can never have one. It still hurts. We went to a BBQ a few weeks back, and there was a couple there with their new baby. It was all I could do to hold it together sometimes, as people would coo over him, and talk about what a miracle he is, and marvel out loud about how it all started from a little bit of mom and dad… all reminders of what we cannot have. I spent about half the day fighting back tears in the bathroom. But I know it gets better with time, and so I just have to cut myself a little slack.
  • Getting more organized. My days are still pretty all-over-the-place these days, and I prefer a bit more routine. I like to have a plan of things to get done — it just helps me feel like I am accomplishing things to plan my time out a bit. I need to get into a routine that works for me.
  • Losing weight. I’m at the point in my life where it would be really good for my health to find an good weight for me and stick to it. During the pregnancy/fertility stuff, I put on a fair bit of weight, as can happen with that stuff — but now that time is over, and I want to get healthy again. Ideally, I’d like to lose a LOT of weight, but right now, I’ll start and be happy with a little slow downward progress. It has been really, really frustrating. I think if I exercise it might help, but that’s not been the case this year. So I will try it on my own first, and if it doesn’t work, I will talk to my doctor.