Homestudy Complete

Adoption Journey — Day 186

It’s DONE.

Well, mostly done… there are a couple of minor edits to be done, small changes to be made. But our homestudy is DONE.

We went to our social worker’s house last night to go over the homestudy. We were a bit apprehensive, as I’ve mentioned before, and I was a little bit concerned that they wanted to get together to discuss it — was there something in it that might be upsetting?

Well, as it turns out, there was — but it was all stuff about my family, and heck, I know my history well enough so I wasn’t upset at all. But I think the social workers thought that it might be hard to read and so I think they wanted to be there to chat about stuff if I was concerned.

I wasn’t. You get “marks” on various sections: your marriage, your family history, your personality, etc. I got low marks because of my family history. Not too surprising. And the thing is, with these homestudies, the Ministry gives the adoption practitioners a very strict set of guidelines in which they operate, and so anyone who has a family history like mine — a parent dying at a young age, fractious family relationships, etc. — means that just by default I get a certain grade, regardless of what I have done or how I have moved on from there or anything. So it has no reflection on ME, actually, which was really good to know. I was pleased to know that it was not going to have a negative impact on us. Also, the report was written in such a way as to be fairly complimentary about how I’ve overcome those sorts of things, how I’ve taken steps to maintain more positive relationships, that sort of thing… so that was a really nice plus.

The same also applied for BDH’s health. He got a low grade because he is diabetic. But they explained to us again how the marks are based on defaults — so even if BDH were amazingly fit and healthy, as long as he has diabetes, he gets a low grade. It’s an automatic thing.

We got great marks on our relationship, and on our relationship with BDH’s family — in those categories, we were above average. That was cool.

In everything else we were incredibly normal. Average marks. No concerns.

So as far as the social workers are concerned… WE PASSED. (Phew.)

Now the edits will be completed by week’s end, and we’ll sign off on the report so that they can send the report off to our agency and the Ministry here in the province at the first of next week. It takes (on average) about 8 weeks for the government to give us an approval or not. So, more waiting.

But, that’s one big huge hurdle done. I am relieved to have it over and done with.

AND… a big bonus… last night during our meeting, a couple of our social worker’s clients came by to drop off paperwork. As it turns out, they are a couple originally from Ethiopia who last year adopted a baby from Ethiopia! So we took a few moments last night to meet them, and we have their phone number, so we can call them and make plans to get together and chat about stuff. And they brought their daughter along, who is without doubt one of the cutest babies in the entire universe! 18 months old with these adorable little poofs in her hair and so busy and so CUTE! BDH was absolutely taken with her, especially when she was playing with his keys and set off his car alarm. The big eyes, the fascination as she stood at the front door saying “beep!beep!beep!” He was so charmed by her!

So, all in all, not a bad night… A good, passing report. New acquaintances from Ethiopia who have been through the process that we can meet and chat with. A big part of the paperwork done and out of our hands.

We are pleased.

6 thoughts on “Homestudy Complete

  1. Congrats and well done. One more step closer. BDH is not so hard to be charmed by the ladies if I remember correctly. Any little girl just bats her baby blues and he melts. He might be a big damn hero but he has a heart the size of Nova Scotia. Sorry to hear about your marks from your family’s side but you are to be commended for your achievements and your dedication to one another. No one deserves a “well done” more. On to the next step.

  2. It’s true! And in this case, the little lady batted her big baby browns at him… and he was a big ol’ puddle of goo.

    Of course, I was pretty charmed myself, so you know, who could blame him?

    Thanks for the vote of confidence. *smooches*

  3. Thank you thank you!

    It’s a bit of a stressful process, but with everyone’s support we got through it with patience, perspective and humour.

    I’m glad to be done!

    Now let’s get the damn thing signed and sent, already.

  4. Congrats on finishing your HS! I remember being alternately thrilled at the accolades I received and PO’d at how ANCIENT FAMILY HISTORY was included. It’s tough when it’s nothing you had control over, and, as you said, you’ve already moved on and become a better person despite it. It sounds like you have the right attitude tho – which is one reason why you’ll be a great parent 🙂

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