Elvis Hasn’t Left The Building, But What If He Did?

Adoption Journey — Day 102

Still lots of paperwork to do to finish our homestudy and get our file ready to send off. LOTS. TO. DO. We have another meeting with our social workers this week, and we want to get our paperwork as up to date as we can. So, we’ll be handing over some more of the documents we have done and in file, but also, we have to plan to tend to a few things for which we need specialized help.

One of the things we have to tend to is kind of weird. We need to get papers notarized, but at the same time, we have to get a will made up. A will. It’s funny to think about. Jeez, never in my life did I ever think I’d reach an age or a level of responsibility that I would need a WILL! I mean, when I was a kid, I thought 26 was just as old as you could get! (I remember that because I had a Barbie doll who was CLEARLY older and more mature than my other Barbies so I decided she was 26.) And now, here I am, planning on seeing a lawyer to write up a will.

But, seriously, it’s a smart thing to have, now that we’re adopting. We need a document that will indicate that we have someone to take care of Mystery Baby in the event that “Elvis has left the building” — if we die (although I don’t plan to… EVER). Fortunately, we have chosen a fantastic legal guardian, and she and her partner have agreed to raise Mystery Baby if we die, and to be that special presence in his/her life as he/she grows. All kids need to have a special person that they can trust and they know will love them and take care of them no matter what, outside of their parents, I think — and these two people have that quality in spades. Also, we need to show that Mystery Baby will be taken care of financially as well. Not like we have tons of stuff to squabble over, mind you. But still. So, we need to see a lawyer and make sure it’s all spelled out, with no questions.

The lawyer will also notarize some “power of attorney”-type documents for us, so that we have legal representation to act on our behalf in Ethiopia. These documents were sent to us by our agency, along with a few others that tie up the legal work that will be required for us to complete the adoption work. So, I will be asking the lawyer for a few things. Hopefully, they are not too expensive. But they’ve got to be done, and they’re all part of the process, so we’ll just add it to the running tally.

Another thing we have to do is get some life insurance. We have some, through BDH’s benefits plan, but we will want to get some more. We just need to ensure that our child or children are well taken care of, should we need it. It’s something required on our financial paperwork to submit to the social workers, but also, I am sure it will be something we’ll need for the will.

Early on, as we were just getting started in the process, we asked our adoption practitioner if she thought we should retain a lawyer who specializes in international adoption. And she told us, quite frankly, that it would be a waste of our money. Now, as we move through the paperwork, I am so grateful for that bit of advice. In the beginning, we were really intimidated by all the paperwork, and we had no idea what was in store or what we’d need. Now, we see that our agency is so efficient and well-organized that they’ve got everything under control for us. Similarly, our adoption practitioner is very experienced and knows our agency so well that she is able to advise us on many things as we go along. They’ve made the process relatively easy to complete — they do a lot of the thinking for us! And you know, when you’ve got so much to do and so many stresses as part of the adoption, it’s nice to let yourself be guided along a little bit. Someone to do that bit of planning and organization for us has been wonderful.

So, we need to make arrangements for the future of Mystery Baby. Yeah, it’s a little freaky talking about our deaths. But on the other hand, we’re proactively planning for our child — and suddenly, we’re talking about OUR CHILD, and OUR FUTURE. And it doesn’t seem quite so far away or as much of a dream as it once did.

Suddenly, it feels like parenthood might just happen, after all.

1 thought on “Elvis Hasn’t Left The Building, But What If He Did?

  1. It is a big step going from the frame of mind that we will never see the end of this world but lets face it.We will not get out of this world alive. That’s hard to believe when we are young and will not or cannot allow ourselves to even think about it.Eventually it hits us that our bodies and minds are not what they use to be.Think of this as a wakeup call and you are doing what everyone should consider doing. It is best that everything is in order and that your wishes are written down so there is no mistake in what your true wishes are. It’s a little scary but my hats of to you. Keep on trucking and you will see the end of all this paper work soon. And then Mystery Baby!!!!! I can’t wait.

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