Tired, Part 1

Adoption Journey — Day 89, or something

The tired is overwhelming.

I need to learn to sleep better. I need to learn to not snore.

It’s hard to be crazed with running-around-preparing-ness when you’re tired.

I have cleaned and cleaned and it’s still not clean enough.

Vacuum. Sweep. Wash. Dust.

I have run around fussing and fretting.

Fold. File. Straighten. Hide.

I have followed around after a little old lady with bad eyesight, bad hearing, bad bladder. A little old lady whose mind no longer works like it once did, who shouts all the time, who pees on stuff.

Shoo.

I can’t have that kind of smell before a home visit.

I clean some more.

Only a few more hours and then I will smile and be honest and answer questions and smile some more.

Bake cookies before they come in the hopes of winning them over with chocolate.

(The smell of baking makes the house more homey. Plus the smell of cookies covers up the smell of cat litter, last night’s dinner, pee, egg salad for lunch… A real estate agent once taught me that.)

“Would you like anything? Water? Tea? Coffee?

HaveacookieIbakedthemmyself.”

Smile.

Answer politely.

Try not to talk too much.

(Good thing the cats will be in the basement. They talk too much. They interrupt.)

Smile.

Pleasepleaseplease like us.

Only a few more things to get done and then I will sleep for hours and hours.

Until next time.