Not Perfect

Adoption Journey — Day 87

It’s getting there. It’s still cluttered, and there’s still a lot of work to be done. But it’s getting there.

We’re slowly getting the house cleaned up for the adoption practitioners’ first visit this week. It’s clean. Not as clean as I’d like it to be for their visit, which will still take me a while until everything’s satisfactory and cleaned and looking fresh as a daisy. But I’ll keep plugging away this week and hopefully it will be clean and clutter-free by the time they get here.

It’s still nowhere near ready for a visit to check our child-proofing. Not even close. We have to clean out everything in the garage, under the sinks, sitting out on counters and bookshelves. We have to shampoo all the carpets. We have to hide cords. We have to clean the basement. We have to clean the baby’s room from top to bottom, which until now has been a storage room. Painting it would also be nice, but that’s not going to happen. We have to buy fire extinguishers and carbon monoxide detectors and a new kitchen table and proper TV stands and…

I feel like we’re never going to be ready. I know they’re not expecting us to be perfect, and they said they are definitely not looking for perfect, but we’re so far from it at this point that I fear we’ll never even get close.

We’re NOT perfect. We’re so far from perfect that it’s ridiculous to try. And even when Mystery Baby gets here, IF Mystery Baby gets here, we’re still going to be no closer to perfect.

This is who we are. We’re cluttered and not always tidy and don’t have tons of money. Our basement is unfinished and our cats barf on the carpet and we don’t always get everything put away all the time. And this is who our child, if we are allowed to bring one into our family, will be living with. Two slightly messy and well-meaning parents and three unruly cats. All with a lot of love to give.

I kind of feel we’re behind the eight ball in a couple of ways in this process. But there’s really nothing to be done about that. All we can do is be ourselves and hope that’s good enough. Because I don’t think pretending we’re who we are not is going to do anyone any good either. And the stress is bad enough without setting unrealistic expectations of ourselves. So I’m not the best housekeeper in the world. So we don’t have the nicest furniture or enough storage space. So I have an imperfect family. So we have three cats.

Deal with it.

We’re not perfect. But we are who we are, and it’s going to have to be good enough.

4 thoughts on “Not Perfect

  1. So you aren’t perfect, neither is anyone else, least of all the ones judjing you. You rock just being who you both are and they WILL see that. Damn it, they WILL!!!

  2. By the way, did I mention BDH is a genius. I am sure I did. If not, I say again…..”BDH is a genius, baby!!!” He is my computer hero.

  3. No one is ever completely ready. The dictator is about to turn three and I’m still not completely ready for her.

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