Grumble

You know what annoys me today?

Those paper towels you can buy that you can tear off in different sizes. Who thought THAT was a good idea? When I go to get a paper towel, I want a paper-towel-sized paper towel. Not a two-inch-wide strip of paper towel. Who can do ANYTHING with that stupid two-inch-wide strip of paper towel? Did someone’s wife yell at him for using too many paper towels to mop up a little bit of schmutz on a countertop? So then he went in to his job at the Paper Towel Marketing Board and go, “OOH! OOH! I have a GREAT idea”? Or is this some sort of perverse revenge? All I know is that when I go to clean my mirror I don’t want to tear off a two inch strip of paper towel. But I do. And then I get mad.

Also.

I have a hate on for electric razors. (Those of you whose husbands use them, you KNOW where I am going with this.) If a man shaves with shaving cream and an analog razor, he periodically rinses the razor under the running water or in the sink, and all the foam and whiskers and dirty water goes down the drain. But if he uses an electric razor, WHISKERS ARE FLUNG WILLY NILLY ALL OVER THE FREAKING BATHROOM. So you can’t find a surface of the bathroom that isn’t completely vertical that is not covered in little hairy bits. They’re in the hand towels. They’re around the rim of the sink. They’re in the little rubber seal-y bit that fastens the sink to the counter top. They’re EVERYWHERE. And they are my SWORN ENEMY.

And THEN.

Scratching posts. Covered in carpet. Cheap pile carpet. That any vigorous cat worth her salt can shred in 3.5 seconds of happiness. Which leaves bits of pink rubber-tipped carpet-y fuzzy bits all over the freaking place, EXCEPT on the scratching post that carried them into your house in the first place. My cat has pink rubber-tipped carpet fuzz static clinging to her side. I find pink rubber-tipped carpet fuzz inside socks. I have pink rubber-tipped carpet fuzz in the shower. And then? It doesn’t vacuum up easily. WHY? Because it’s STICKING TO THE CARPET.

And whoever thought… Oh, never mind.

I am crabby.

7 thoughts on “Grumble

  1. I feel INSPIRED to find ways to eloquently express MY distaste for certain things.

    I could rant MORE about those BASTARDS at the paper towel company that is ROUNTY only with a “B” instead of an “R” because that two inch strip of towel was the DUMBEST DAMN IDEA THAT EVER ANYONE HAD – and I’m INCLUDING bungee jumping in that list of DUMB ideas.

    I shall return with more rants in a moment.

  2. You guys might be p.o.’d but I am having jolly old chuckle at your expense. Mind you, I needed it. It has been a holy hellish day here computer wise. You know what I hate, stupid IT fellows who tell me there is nothing wrong with their system and it is my system that is not working properly. I have been using the same login and site for five freakin years and am so not literate enough to change anything on my system that would cause an inaccessible error….grumble, grumble…I am now crabby too. No offense BDH, we love him, of course.

  3. And also? Why oh WHY must bra elastic stretch to 300 times it’s regular length after a few washings?

    Is it because THOSE BRA MAKING BASTARDS think we have nothing better to do than to drop 50 bucks on a new bra every few months? Because I am here to tell them, if it’s a choice between perky boobs and internet access, I choose INTERNET ACCESS, baby.

  4. I was thinking what a beautiful day it is , sunshine, no snow
    and we are getting ready for takeoff.(down south)I log in and find everyone is (should I say not very happy with their day?)
    crapping about something. I’m happy with my world today. I had King Crab legs for dinner,a bottle of white wine and (excuse me)the love of my life to share it with me. Well, we are coming up on 48 years together so I’m entitled to let my feelings out.My advice is don’t sweat the small stuff!!!!Yeah, I know that it bothers you at the time but looking back I can’t remember a lot of those times but ask me about the good times, I have a million of them.

  5. Hey, Ma, believe me, my bra ain’t small stuff.:) Seriously, I am very glad you had a great day. You deserve it, especially after sticking with the same guy for 48 years. Speaking of heading south, that means the old wine stash is unguarded! Cinn, you headed this way in April, we could do a raid. I have a key!!!

  6. ALSO? I hate spray bottles where the little plastic thing-y inside falls down into the solution and it NEVER works again.

    And ALSO I hate DVD packaging. Because it takes like, DYNAMITE to get into the package. A lightbulb is packages in paper the strength of construction paper, but you have to have a jackhammer to open a DVD.

    OH – and I HATE these new scented trash bags. I’m sure in THEORY they were fine, and a vanilla scented liner is A-OK when you first put it in the can, but a vanilla scented liner holding poopy diapers is just GROSS. Trust me on this – don’t test the theory.

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