Grumble

You know what annoys me today?

Those paper towels you can buy that you can tear off in different sizes. Who thought THAT was a good idea? When I go to get a paper towel, I want a paper-towel-sized paper towel. Not a two-inch-wide strip of paper towel. Who can do ANYTHING with that stupid two-inch-wide strip of paper towel? Did someone’s wife yell at him for using too many paper towels to mop up a little bit of schmutz on a countertop? So then he went in to his job at the Paper Towel Marketing Board and go, “OOH! OOH! I have a GREAT idea”? Or is this some sort of perverse revenge? All I know is that when I go to clean my mirror I don’t want to tear off a two inch strip of paper towel. But I do. And then I get mad.

Also.

I have a hate on for electric razors. (Those of you whose husbands use them, you KNOW where I am going with this.) If a man shaves with shaving cream and an analog razor, he periodically rinses the razor under the running water or in the sink, and all the foam and whiskers and dirty water goes down the drain. But if he uses an electric razor, WHISKERS ARE FLUNG WILLY NILLY ALL OVER THE FREAKING BATHROOM. So you can’t find a surface of the bathroom that isn’t completely vertical that is not covered in little hairy bits. They’re in the hand towels. They’re around the rim of the sink. They’re in the little rubber seal-y bit that fastens the sink to the counter top. They’re EVERYWHERE. And they are my SWORN ENEMY.

And THEN.

Scratching posts. Covered in carpet. Cheap pile carpet. That any vigorous cat worth her salt can shred in 3.5 seconds of happiness. Which leaves bits of pink rubber-tipped carpet-y fuzzy bits all over the freaking place, EXCEPT on the scratching post that carried them into your house in the first place. My cat has pink rubber-tipped carpet fuzz static clinging to her side. I find pink rubber-tipped carpet fuzz inside socks. I have pink rubber-tipped carpet fuzz in the shower. And then? It doesn’t vacuum up easily. WHY? Because it’s STICKING TO THE CARPET.

And whoever thought… Oh, never mind.

I am crabby.