Dentist’s Appointment

I’m off to the dentist today.

I don’t really mind going to the dentist. I used to have a horrible fear of going to the dentist. Now, I just have a horrible fear of dental needles. As long as dental needles are not involved, chances are I will be okay.

It’s my semi-annual (okay, actually every nine months) checkup, which also means a cleaning. I actually don’t mind the cleaning. Usually I can relax and focus on other things, and actually get so relaxed that I almost doze off. I think of it kind of like massage — yeah, it may be uncomfortable sometimes while it’s happening, but afterwards I feel so much better.

Today might not be so good, though. I’ve been pretty lax in my flossing and stuff in the last little while. I’m guessing there’s going to be a fair bit of cleaning to be done. I’m guessing there will be times during the hour when I will regret all the times I did not floss. Which means, more pain, less relaxing. But I hope I’ll have a cavity-free checkup. Fingers crossed, anyway.

Oh well. As long as there are no needles, I’ll be fine.

OOH. And also? None of that “poking the thing under your gums to measure how deep the pockets go”. THAT. SUCKS. HARD. Because I have some deep pockets and let me tell you: PAINFUL.

I used to go to a periodontist to take care of this stuff and it was an exercise in discomfort every time. And also, I was paying 250 bucks every three months for someone to poke under my gums and cause me pain. And the periodontist used to get all snippy when I complained about the pain.

HELLO? You’re in DENTISTRY. People are going to COMPLAIN that it HURTS. I think you need to consider losing the attitude, there, sister. Get over yourself, already.

So I stopped going. I don’t need to spend that much money to be hurt. And also, I was going through fertility treatments at the time, and nobody wants a hormonal woman in the chair when they are poking her and hurting her. It’s not pretty.

And also? Too much talk of GUM SURGERY. That’ll send a person shrieking into the street, I tell you.

But my regular dentist is very cool. Although she is on maternity leave now, so there will be no talk of periodontia today. Oh no. I have a reprieve.

I will introduce myself to the temporary replacement dentist: Hello. Let me just get this out of the way right up front. No needles. And also? Don’t be offended if I drool and bleed on you, and then possibly doze off.

I hope I don’t snore. That’d be a bad first impression to make on a new dentist.

But I am so going to bargain for extra dental floss today. That’ll make me popular. And I promise I will use it.

2 thoughts on “Dentist’s Appointment

  1. It amazes me how much we have in common. You KNOW how I feel about this stuff – no need to make it public domain.

    But,I feel your pain today. Ugh. GREAT. Now I feel the need to brush AGAIN.

  2. Well, I got away with the “no-pokey-thing-under-the-gums” THIS time, but next time? July? I am TOTALLY getting the pokes, man.

    I’m going to have to medicate before I go. Or maybe drink. A LOT. Or maybe BOTH.

    EEP. I’m scared. Hold me.

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