Dude. This exercising kick I’ve been on? It sucks today.
NO, that’s not right. Let me rephrase.
This exercising kick? I suck wind today.
I am trying not to hate it. Really trying. But getting on the treadmill? It’s really trying.
People talk about “endorphin rush” and “runner’s high”. I haven’t seen it.
I’ve seen “out of shape sweaty” and “panting like a dog” and “post-treadmill dizzy”, but nothing resembling a high.
Well, unless you count the dizziness.
Today I ran — well, more accurately, it would be called “wogging”, which is a jog that is so slow you might as well be walking — 1/3 of the time on my treadmill.
Not once did I enjoy it. Not one step. There were no endorphins.
In fact, there were the opposite of endorphins.
Would that be “exorphins”, then?
“Runner’s bad trip” instead of “runner’s high”? “Jogger’s loathing”?
You know when I will feel runner’s high? When my pants are too big because I am a svelte domestic goddess, and I have to run out and buy more.