Adoption Journey – Day 8
This morning, after I finish blogging (and get my car cleaned off — there’s a car under all that snow SOMEWHERE, I just KNOW it) I have to go out to the post office and send my application off to attend an adoption preparation seminar. I think I mentioned it last week.
This whole adoption thing — as a matter of fact, this whole parenting thing — is brand new to BDH and I, obviously. So the idea of going to a seminar is somewhat comforting, to tell you the truth. We have so many questions and concerns and fears. At this stage of the game, your imagination runs away with you a bit, and the places it goes? Scary. So periodically I look at the content of the seminar (taken from www.whatisadoption.com), and it’s very reassuring.
- The process involved in adopting internationally, pre- and post-placement — DUH.
- Preparing for adoption and travel (emotional considerations, dealing with friends and family, positive adoption language…) — Yeah, this is a good one. Not something I would have thought about, but there’s a lot of up and down in this process, no doubt just as much as when we were trying to have a biological child. And I know how hard that was, and dealing with friends and family during that time.
- Infertility (does the pain ever totally go away?) — Whoa. This one is a big one. Talk about the elephant in the room, man…
- Meeting your child, the flight back, and suggestions about what not to do when you return — This one I have thought about a LOT. The moment when our child sees our white faces and shrieks in horror at the new, scary, weird-looking people. Thinking about our first time alone, in a hotel room in a foreign country, with our child. Hoping that a bond develops between us. Thinking in abject terror of 24 hours of travelling by plane with an inconsolable child. BAH. It’s terrifying.
- Adjustment considerations (food, bath, language, sleeping…) — Our child will be on a completely opposite schedule to us. We’re never going to sleep again. And also, food and bathing will be so completely different for all of us. At least language is something I can wrap my head around.
- Medical issues and child development — I mean, it’s not enough as a new parent to have to deal with medical stuff for the very first time, but add to that the twists and turns of a child who may be starting out at a bit of a disadvantage, and maybe with some hurdles to overcome.
- Attaching and bonding (adjustment of older children) — We’re hoping for an infant, but that does not mean that this is how we will end up. We could have a toddler, or a sibling set, or twins…
- Preparing for being different (issues related to mixed racial adoption) — This is another one I think I am more prepared for. I have been considering this since I first decided I wanted to adopt during my life, when I was still in my teens. But I have a lot of questions, and I know I will need a lot of advice.
- Growing up adopted (talking about adoption with your child) — This is another one I am looking forward to discussing. I know my child will grow up surrounded by a loving and supportive family. I want my child to be cool with adoption, be proud of where he or she came from. I want to do this one right.
So all in all, this looks like a good course for us. I am really looking forward to it. I can’t imagine going into this process without someone there to answer my questions, without having prepared as best I can. I know I will have a million questions, and I will wish that I had all the knowledge and experience of the people around me and the people running the course. I know that’s not possible, but I just want to be as good a parent as I possibly can.