Makes Sense To Me

Adoption Journey – Day 8

This morning, after I finish blogging (and get my car cleaned off — there’s a car under all that snow SOMEWHERE, I just KNOW it) I have to go out to the post office and send my application off to attend an adoption preparation seminar. I think I mentioned it last week.

This whole adoption thing — as a matter of fact, this whole parenting thing — is brand new to BDH and I, obviously. So the idea of going to a seminar is somewhat comforting, to tell you the truth. We have so many questions and concerns and fears. At this stage of the game, your imagination runs away with you a bit, and the places it goes? Scary. So periodically I look at the content of the seminar (taken from, and it’s very reassuring.

  • The process involved in adopting internationally, pre- and post-placement — DUH.
  • Preparing for adoption and travel (emotional considerations, dealing with friends and family, positive adoption language…) — Yeah, this is a good one. Not something I would have thought about, but there’s a lot of up and down in this process, no doubt just as much as when we were trying to have a biological child. And I know how hard that was, and dealing with friends and family during that time.
  • Infertility (does the pain ever totally go away?) — Whoa. This one is a big one. Talk about the elephant in the room, man…
  • Meeting your child, the flight back, and suggestions about what not to do when you return — This one I have thought about a LOT. The moment when our child sees our white faces and shrieks in horror at the new, scary, weird-looking people. Thinking about our first time alone, in a hotel room in a foreign country, with our child. Hoping that a bond develops between us. Thinking in abject terror of 24 hours of travelling by plane with an inconsolable child. BAH. It’s terrifying.
  • Adjustment considerations (food, bath, language, sleeping…) — Our child will be on a completely opposite schedule to us. We’re never going to sleep again. And also, food and bathing will be so completely different for all of us. At least language is something I can wrap my head around.
  • Medical issues and child development — I mean, it’s not enough as a new parent to have to deal with medical stuff for the very first time, but add to that the twists and turns of a child who may be starting out at a bit of a disadvantage, and maybe with some hurdles to overcome.
  • Attaching and bonding (adjustment of older children) — We’re hoping for an infant, but that does not mean that this is how we will end up. We could have a toddler, or a sibling set, or twins…
  • Preparing for being different (issues related to mixed racial adoption) — This is another one I think I am more prepared for. I have been considering this since I first decided I wanted to adopt during my life, when I was still in my teens. But I have a lot of questions, and I know I will need a lot of advice.
  • Growing up adopted (talking about adoption with your child) — This is another one I am looking forward to discussing. I know my child will grow up surrounded by a loving and supportive family. I want my child to be cool with adoption, be proud of where he or she came from. I want to do this one right.

So all in all, this looks like a good course for us. I am really looking forward to it. I can’t imagine going into this process without someone there to answer my questions, without having prepared as best I can. I know I will have a million questions, and I will wish that I had all the knowledge and experience of the people around me and the people running the course. I know that’s not possible, but I just want to be as good a parent as I possibly can.

3 thoughts on “Makes Sense To Me

  1. That seminar does sound sort of cool. And really, the never sleeping again thing is one of those standard features all kids have when they leave the factory. Oh, and SQUEEEEEE!, because this is still so, so cool.

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