Parenthood Is Hell

Parenthood is tough. For days now, we’ve been dealing with barf on the carpet, toys all over the floor, picky eaters… I tell you, parenthood is not easy. I just wish they spoke ENGLISH, for the love of doG.

Opus has been alternately fighting taking her pills and barfing all over the carpets. Lucy has been dragging her blankie off the chair repeatedly… it’s a game: I put the blankie on the chair, she drags it off, I put it back, she drags it off. We find her blanket or the Christmas tree skirt somewhere in the middle of the room several times a day. And Cinnamon, who has been agressively affectionate towards a certain once-sheep-shaped Xmas tree ornament for years now, grooming and batting it with great love and joy, has turned the fuzzy little sheep into something that somewhat resembles a cartoon CSI crime scene.

So with Christmas and our trip home rapidly approaching, today we had some professional cat sitters in for their initial consultation. Amid apologizing for the barf stains everywhere, we had to ensure that they were comfortable pilling an old, ornery, and altogether too-smart-by-half kitty. (I fear The Bubby is going to win those battles, but whatever.) And Opus growled and whined at the cat sitter who picked her up and tried loving her up. We were not off to an auspicious start. Then Cinnamon went and hid under the basement stairs for the entire time, so all they saw of her was a flash of orange as she scampered away down the stairs. And then, when Opus was finally warming up to them, in runs Lucy, who is a bull in a china shop socially, to meet everyone. She intruded on Opus’s “getting to know you” time, which then made Opus jealous and hissy and foul. BAH — sibling rivalry.

I’m sure they will be fine — we’re only going to be gone 6 days — but as I lay on the carpet under the dining room table trying to comfort a very peevish Bubby with an upset tummy, I confess I am already worrying. I am worried about leaving my sick girlie, because like most parents, I feel that only WE know BEST how to take care of her. (Well, aside from the brilliant Dr. Maggs, her vet.) And leaving the other two alone for 6 days with a fully decorated Xmas tree… what were we thinking??

It’s true what they say. People should have to get a license to have kids. And there should be a further IQ test for pet ownership.