This is a bad, dangerous, evil time of year for me and those around me. A time when no one is safe. A time when people must be cautious and responsible.
For this is is the season when I am allowed to BAKE WITH IMPUNITY! MUAH-HA-HA-HA-HAAAAAA! *evil laugh*
Let me just put it out there, right now, for everyone to see, that I am a pretty good baker. Nay, in fact, I would say… a darn FINE baker. Yeah, I said it. I bake well… I bake very, VERY well. (Extra cookies for those of you who spotted the Mystery Men reference.) So I absolutely love the holiday season, when I can go crazy in the kitchen, and bake cookies and fruitcakes and breads and other lovely things. And then I give them away to friends and acquaintances.
So I am a health hazard. People are ingesting lots of buttery, sugary goodness at this time of year, because of me. People are overeating the sweets, because of me. People are forced to let out their waistbands and exercise more, because of me.
But I am the friendliest, best-smelling, most welcome health hazard you’d ever want to meet.
I have one dear friend for whom I make an entire fruitcake each year. And he sits down with a giant glass of milk and his own personal fruitcake and is as happy as Larry for a while. We have another group of friends to whom we deliver plates of cookies and other goodies to enjoy over the season — if they can keep the kids from inhaling all the shortbread. Our hairdresser and our favourite hostess at our favourite restaurant, also both good friends, get cookies and treats. This year, our neighbours will get some cookies, just for being good neighbours. And family always get plates of yummy stuff as our gift for Christmas.
It’s fun to plan what to bake. It’s lovely to have the house scented with spicy, sweet smells. It’s nice to see the smiles on friends’ faces at the sight of home baking. It’s cheap to give, which is good, since we have little money to spare. It’s nice to know that some our family and friends are relieved at not having to bake as much themselves for when they entertain. But mostly, I enjoy knowing that we’ve given the people we love something they will enjoy.
So before you see me coming, laden down with shortbread and chocolatey goodness and smelling like vanilla and cinnamon, run. Run very, very far.
And then run back again, to where I am waiting with a few gingerbread and maybe a mocha ball or two. That should be enough of a work out to let you really, truly enjoy yourself.