The Inconveniences of Modern Conveniences

I find myself without email or phone today. It’s like someone cut off my supply of chocolate or something. I’m at a loss.

Around 5 this morning we were treated to a big storm: massive booms of thunder, lovely downpours of rain, and a big bright light show. It was wonderful, because I love sleeping when there’s a rainstorm happening. I got up to pee, and found myself faced with The Bubby sitting outside my door. “Mrph?” she said. “No, you’re fine,” I told her. “Go back to sleep.” And I scooted her fanny up the stairs like the Grinch putting Cindy Lou Who to bed. I went to the bathroom, and then back to bed.

And then I heard it. “BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP…”

There must have been a blip in the power, and it tripped the UPS upstairs. The UPS and its partner in crime, the power bar, were freaking out. BDH will hear it, I thought to myself. He’ll fix it.

I waited. “BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP click…” I rolled over. “BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP…”


Cursing in quite a colourful fashion given the early hour, I rolled out of bed and staggered upstairs. I fought with the desk chair, climbed under the desk a few times, switched things on and off. “BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP…” Again with the switching and the pushing and the cursing. “BEEP BEEP BEEP click BEEP BEEP BEEP click…”

“OH SHUT THE HELL UP!” I yelled at the wall of technology facing me. “SHUDDUP! SHUDDUP! SHUDDUP!” I looked at The Bubby, perched on her pile of pillows a la Princess and the Pea. She looked contented, now that she had company during the storm. “MRPH,” I said to her, and switched off the UPS and the power bar. I staggered downstairs and back to bed.

This morning, after I got up and got some coffee, I switched everything back on. I futzed about on the computer as the storms rolled by overhead. I chatted with Kelly for awhile on the phone. And THEN…

Silence. That total, complete silence, devoid of mechancial noise. “SHIT,” I thought, “The power is out again.” And it stayed out. For a good ten minutes, anyway. During that time, Cinnamon and Lucy followed me around very closely, clearly confused by the complete and utter silence. And then the power came back on. YAY! I thought.

Except something was not right. My laptop was struggling to make a connection to the wireless. I couldn’t access my blogs. Email was erroring out. So, I messaged BDH. He asked me to call so he could walk me through how to fix it. And I would have, except for the voice recording on the other end of the phone when I picked it up which said (and still says, hours later), “Dis phone line is not provisioned for use.” With that exquisitely French-accented English that only Canadian bilingualism can provide. “Please try de other line.” So the phone was out as well.

We tried rebooting and powering off and disconnecting and reconnecting. We tried reconfiguring and remote assisting and pinging.

“AHA!” messaged BDH. “I know what it is. Turn on the monitor for the server beside you.” “You mean, the one here on the thingy beside me that’s been whirring really loudly for the last two hours, right? And not the other thingy over there?” I asked. Yes, he confirmed. “It should be connected to the server.”

“Well I think it would be,” I told him, “if there were not a giant blue screen of death.”

“That’s a problem,” BDH messaged, in his understated way.

And so, it seems that a blue screen saying INACCESSIBLE_BOOT_DEVICE on your server is a very BAD thing. It leaves me without email, because it is our mail server, and without phone, because of… well, because of my incompetence at figuring out how the phone gets connected into all these things and actually MOVING it to somewhere where it will work. And without a few other things that I can’t even be bothered to think about right now. Because I am sure it would make me peevish.

Well, that and the fact that I really SHOULD be doing some housework right now.

4 thoughts on “The Inconveniences of Modern Conveniences

  1. It was a lovely storm. It kept me awake for close to an hour as I silently cursed it for not happening at a more convenient, less sleep-crucial time. Now that I know it’s done fixed your wagon… Well, let’s just say that storm front better not show its face around me again.

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