For those of you who know the very bad 70s song (and I am sorry for the earworm if you do), you know I am paraphrasing slightly. But today is not Monday.
It is a rainy weekend here. We’re getting the tail end of the rains from the hurricane down South. So it is a weekend for staying indoors and finding something to amuse ourselves. It’s not cold, just damp and windy and gray.
Normally I like rainy days, because it gives me an excuse to be lazy and sleepy. But I am in the waiting period before I can start my (probably) final shot at IVF, so the days are kind of hanging heavy. I’m sitting around, waiting for my poor, drug-addled system to wake up and start a period and get going on my cycle. But it just. isn’t. happening. And God only knows when it will. All the drugs and hormones and chemicals I have ingested and injected and inhaled over the last year and a half have my poor body so confused and puffy and tired, it doesn’t know whether it is coming or going. And so, we have nothing we can do but wait. We make lame-ass jokes to make it easier (“Oh, honey, you’re so late… maybe you’re PREGNANT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”) We try to find ways around the frustration (“Why don’t you call the clinic and ask them about it?””What are they going to do? Tell me to put the phone in front of my belly so they can yell ‘OKAY! You can START now!’?”) I try not to eat us out of house and home in the meantime, which I think is the hardest part of all. Dear dotGod, but I am STARVING.
So people crack wise about all the blogs and webpages and stuff I’ve got set up, but what they don’t see is that I need something like this to keep my mind otherwise engaged. If I am concentrating on futzing around with PHP or HTML, or posting in a blog, or whatever, I am NOT focusing on the enormity of the upcoming procedures or the decisions that must shortly be made or my own wounded self. With something fun to do that requires my concentration, I am busy and happy and not sucked into the usual whirlpool of emotion and stress. Some people believe in “shopping therapy”; I practice “technology therapy”. There’s only so much you can buy from the Victoria’s Secret clearance section.
So big, dark, gray clouds continue to shuffle across the sky overhead, and the rain comes in fits and starts. Maybe I’ll bake some cookies today. Maybe I’ll edit video. Maybe there’s a Nebraska game on the internet. Or maybe I’ll just set up another webpage or blog a bit. There’s always something to do on a rainy Sunday.