Questions I Have About Life

Here are some things I am thinking about today.

1. Why can I NEVER get green peppers to grow in my garden?
2. Why is it people don’t have to have a license to have kids? You can’t drive without one, and kids are certainly more challenging than driving.
3. Is it possible to have too much ice cream? I don’t think so.
4. In “Lord of the Rings”, why doesn’t Arwen just wait and go into the frigging West AFTER that Hottie McHotterson Aragorn comes back from killing all the bad guys?
5. Why do I continue to buy large floral prints, even though I know I look like a big sofa in them?
6. When quoting someone, why do reporters insist on actually saying “quote” and “unquote”? It’s not like they haven’t already said they’re quoting someone.
7. Green beans or peas?
8. What colour should I paint my bedroom?
9. Is there anyone who doesn’t believe there’s a homosexual subtext to “Top Gun” or “Lord of the Rings”?
10. Who wants a cookie?