Change

Today I got a call from my case nurse in the REI program, Megan, to talk about our upcoming protocol. Although she had not officially been my case nurse until a couple of months ago, she has been with me through almost every procedure over the last year. Just by luck of the draw, she was working on the days I was in. We have bonded with Megan. She’s gentle, calm, thorough, and very kind. She has listened to us when we needed her, and has been so supportive and sensitive to our needs during these challenges. She even checked up on us when were someone else’s case, just because she was part of our procedures. We love Megan.

And today, Megan told me that she wanted BDH and I to know that she was leaving the REI program. She will be starting training as an OR nurse starting in September.

Of course, I was very happy and excited for her. It’s a great opportunity for her to be challenged and learn so much. And working in REI has got to be draining and stressful; with so much emotion tied in to all the procedures and the successes and failures. Women’s Health is not an easy field; I imagine there’s quite a bit of burnout among the staff. I think she will be wonderful as an OR nurse. I remember the fantastic surgical nurse, Dave, that was there when I had my D&C and subsequent surgery. He was comforting, practical, kind, and he’d been through it twice with his wife so he was very sympathetic. I felt very lucky to have Dave as my surgical nurse. I would imagine Megan will be a similar sort of nurse, and I am sure her surgical patients will feel lucky to have her as well.

But still, I am sad. All this REI stuff is so stressful and scary and tiring, it has been nice to have Megan there, smiling and calm, through it all. We’ve grown quite attached to her, and her gentle manner made me feel safe and comfortable through it all. I’ve grown quite attached to her. It’s all such emotional, personal stuff, it’s hard not to get attached to the people you connect to in the program. I had even thought that maybe, if things had worked out and we had gotten pregnant and had a girl, that we might consider Megan as a middle name for our baby, to thank nurse Megan for all she has meant to us. I know she felt bad with each failure, like she was bad luck or something, and it would have been nice for her to be part of a success for us. It is a little scary to think she will not be there with us anymore. I’ve come to rely on her for support. I know I will miss her terribly.

I wished her all the best in her new career adventure, but when I got off the phone, I cried. More tears than I thought I would. She’s touched our life that much.

BDH was very practical. He will miss her too, of course, and wishes her the best as well. But he says, maybe this is a change in our luck. Maybe this will bring us some good karma, to have a change, to shake things up a bit. Who knows, maybe that’s the case. I hope so. Everything happens for a reason, I think.

But still, I will miss her.