Dissatisfaction

I’ve come all over with dissatisfaction this morning. There’s some sort of current of peevish running through the house, and I’ve been caught in it. I think it’s likely because I slept like ASS last night. Yeah, I’ll blame it on that. Part of it is because I read a thread about decorating styles at the Treehouse, and thinking about the house makes me peevish. I’m soon to be 40, and look at this place. Where did we accumulate all this crappy furniture? Why is it only half-painted after 6 years here? I want more. I know BDH wants this place to feel more like home too. So where does the dissatisfaction come from?

I can answer that quite easily, really. One big reason is that we have spent our money fairly carelessly, and consequently not on decorating or home improvement. Decorating, buying furniture, making changes to the house, all cost money that we don’t have, or that we’re spending on other things. All our money seems to go into these stupid computers, and into entertainment. Yes, I love playing with computers, it is true. Yes, I love eating out and watching shows on DVD and having little hobbies. I’m not blaming, I am just saying, you turn around after 5 or 10 years and do the math and poof! Money’s gone. And now, our spare money is going straight into my uterus. Niiiiiiiiice. (But at least, this may leave us something to show for it for the next 50 or so years.)

Another big reason is Miss Pee Pee Head. How can you buy nice furniture when you know she’s going to ruin it by peeing on it? And we love Opus so very much, so we made the choice — as long as she’s happy and healthy and an integral part of our lives, she’s got priority over the nice furniture. So cheap, easily replaced Ikea and Pier 1 and other crap will have to do. Because our life would be less full without her in it. Although some days…

Another reason is that we’ve just never had the time or energy to do anything to the place. We both work(ed) fairly stressful, time-intensive jobs, and were too tired to think about doing this stuff after a long day. There’s also the matter of volleyball taking up our spare time sometimes 5 days a week. Volunteer work is a worthy endeavour, but it sucks the life out of you. So who’s thinking about painting after a long day at some gym somewhere?

But now, things are changing. We are done with volleyball, and I am not working. So there is time and energy to do some things. I’ve done a bit of painting in my time off, bit by bit, as money allows, and I have plans to do more when there’s time and money. BDH is putting a patio on the back of the house, bit by bit, as money allows. I’ve adopted the philosophy of buying one small home improvement item every time we’re out to do that kind of stuff, like a light fixture or a tchotchke for the wall or something. But by bit, as money allows. BDH scrubbed the pee-stink basement and threw out lots of stuff. We’re eating out less. We’re buying less electronics and gadgets. Opus is peeing on stuff less. Bit by bit.

So, yes, I feel a bit of dissatisfaction. But at least now, we’re doing what we can. It may only be in small increments, but it’s something. We’re making the house a home. Bit by bit.